@DK: You also care for your Mom. When my aunt was alive, but really sick, she never lifted a finger to help. Same when my uncle was alive.

@Moi: Not sure. Something with her mentally. But no, they evaluated her and without saying it, she's just lazy. She is capable of work. She just doesn't want too.

I do take care of her.. and I just did a good job to!

The music worked with her breathing. I was right. Panic attacks. I knew her breathing seemed familiar.. and I just had one this morning due to... bank ssi BS... so when she started up again, it clicked. I went through my mental check list.

She doesn't like watching tv much anymore so I put on her precious johnny cash. Gonna have to get her a proper CD player. This Tape Deck, CD player, Record player all in one thing is a piece of crap.. she doesn't even listen to her records =3=


My aunts accuse me of not caring for mom and being lazy.. =A=
They also get all sarcastic when mentioning my "dislike of phones" ...
I'm too young to be stressed.. so my IBS is faked
I'm too young to have my back go out on me constatnly.
I haven't told them how I now have arthritis in my right knee and both my feet. -3-

I refuuuse to tell them about any of my other anxiety based disorders... the way those people make you feel because of them...





but wooow... if you're leechin off people.. at least help take care of them. Pick them up when they fall.... end up puking yourself dry when emptying their portapot bowl...

wash their pee blankets .. cook for them, when you can .. x0x i was too sick today to cook for mom, but I made sure she had non-cookables to eat.



I was listed 4 things they said I could do.. they never took into account my agoraphobia. Still haven't found out what a Marker is =/ (not the thing you draw/write with)

The day I had a panic attack and locked up in front of my social worker is the day they stopped shoving me into classes on getting work. Now, nearly twenty years later, I have a job, but drama at that job has made it scary to think of going to it, even though it used to be a huge confidence boost and place where I could actually connect with people.

If any of you guys would like a not put together copy of that doll, let me know. The artist says I can share, or even sell dolls printed from the file.

Tam : My cats would find a way to get a hold of it and tear it up. =3= Zeke chewed up the snowflakes I made how long ago.. and I put them away in a tin! still can't figure out how he got into that .. =A=


I've come to hate getting gifts lately. The whole thing of "the thought that counts" only counts if people actually put thought into the gift.. =3= only mom's old payee does this. everyone else I just ask for money or gift cards.

No one around me understands anime manga or video games... and they think beanie babies and such are baby-ish and that i need to grow up..

only Lynn (old payee) under stood me and got me things that I would like even if it wasn't anime based..


everyone else.. bobble heads? people who took time ot know me, they know i hate bobble heads.. they freak me out x-x

religious stuff... they know i'm not religious and that i hate that they push it onto me...



-3- they get stuff that they like and give it to me.. if Lynn couldn't think of "this screams dk" she'd get me a Sudoku book cause I like doing those too .. she tries! >:x

Lynn will ask me for a list of manga and then she picks one or two out of them x3 its nice


I saw a MLP thing on rightstuf and i was like.. o3o i wish i could get this for so and so... so instead i just gave them a link... >A< it said i was thinking about them