Yea.. though.. when a sneeze is creeping up on me, my stomach starts to churn like it wants to puke again.. x-x I dunno wether to run to the bathroom or just grab a tissue!


I also haven't eaten anything other than flavored ice pops today.. x-x I should order something...

puking hurtss. i hope you feel better soon.

i only stay up that late when its a weekend....8U if i do that on a weekday, i'd be dead the next day. xD;;

I can't sleep when I'm too full of energy. I normally dance to tire myself out during those times, but with my knee's acting up lately that's hard for me to do. >A<

And can't sleep when I'm sick to my stomach too.. x-x
Hoping that me being sick all day helps me sleep tonight.

I'll probably have what I've been calling "puke eyes" tomorrow.. x-x the bruises under my eyes that appear after I puke... And I got that SSI Mental Dr Appointment tomorrow >A< ugh...




I just learned that Anne Rice had passed away!!!! -cries-

Yeah and i can’t sleep when i’m in an unfamiliar place…8U i hope i can sleep when up at the cottage…
I hope you feel better soon.

Oh. I didn’t know that. Is this a recent thing?

Anne Rice passed back in December. I'm just now learning about it. >:x

I WAS feeling better.. then I had that SSI mental exam appointment over video chat.. =3=

copied and pasted from discord:

Just did the SSI phyciatric exam... he only asked "What physical disabilities do you have" which i listed...

then he put me through the usual tests...

then when I asked him if he even wanted me to list all my mental disorders... he was all "we did that, you said you were depressed"

and he didn't ask me to list all my disorders...

>:x

and then when I listed some of them he was all "who diagnosed all these?"

then he was all "what happens when you have anxiety" so I described my panic attacks

and when he asked 'do they still happen" i go "... I don't leave home so they don't happen."

and then he's all "what else is there.."


and I tell him about pervert and how he jerked off in front of me and walked in on my in MY bathroom while I showered.. and he wasn't even suppose to be over that day... and because of that I don't take showers before certain times if at all and I don't feel comfortable using the toilet if its not mine, that I'd rather just hold it and run home

then he was all "alright thats it, we're done bai"

=3=

What mental doctor concentrates more on listing physical disabilities, won't even let me explain that my mental disabilities TRIGGER 2 of my physical disabilities....

like I never even got to mention how my anxieties and stress trigger my ibs and gastroparisis
I didn't even mention my phonephobia or adhd....

i had my list before me and still didn't mention some of them because of how he was rushing me

Barely let me explain why I prefer natural treatments over the medications

Now my stomach is doing flipflops... my face feels like it's on fire and its all bright red...

I feel like ima puke again.. x-x
And I haven't been to bed yet... x-x
I was sleepy but now.. I'm tired but hyped up on stress...

Oh i see. ^^;;

I’m sorry about your exam. Seems like some doctors still focus more on the physical rather than the mental. After all, doctors still send people to the psych ward for having mental illnesses. I think the bias is still there, whether the doctor is one for physical illnesses or mental ones. Its ingrained into people. 8U

Doctors just fuckin suck. It's really rare to get one that doesn't suck.


I liked Anne Rice's books, but she was also fuckin AWFUL to her fandom. She would literally sue people for writing fanfics of her stuff. Super bitch.

Hotarla: That's the funny thing.. he's suppose to be a mental doctor.. not sure which one.. psychologist, psychiatrist... not sure...

Like.. how the heck are you in the mental health care profession when you concentrate more on the physical D:<




Light: I didn't know she was against fanfiction, but that reminds me of the fan email I had sent her and the response I got back. I kinda wish I still had a copy of it..

Anyway, I had sent her an email praising her books and then just hating how the movies had butchered everything especially Queen of the Damned.

The response I had gotten pretty much agreed with me and had stated it was why non of her books would be getting a movie ever again. That she hated what had been done to her characters and their stories.

As someone who use to write fanfiction, and now writes my own original stories, I kinda get why an author wouldn't like fanfiction.

I'm the type of person who wouldn't want name changes to happen when works are being localized in other languages (ex: Usagi - Serena, Mamoru - Darien), I wouldn't want such a minor change like that to happen in any of my own stories if I ever published. I dunno how I'd feel about fanfiction though... I use to write fanfics myself so I think it'd be hypocritical of me to deny people from writing fanfics of my stuff if I ever published.


I looked up the fanfiction issue stuff. Seemed she sent Cease and Desist letters out to people and websites. Rumors of harassment and doxxing went around, but no actual evidence of it that I can find. There's no sign of her actually suing people though. Seems the fans that didn't respect her wishes merely went underground and posted fanfics in a similar manner to how pirates share stuff they've pirated. The internet was still young back then so archiving and saving proof of this stuff wasn't really big back then. Now it seems like everything is being archived in some shape or form.

Saw that her publisher was the one who pushed her to do legal action. The thing I read makes me feel that they played on her over protectiveness of her books and characters. If they hadn't pushed her to go that far, she probably would have just asked FF.net and others to just not host fanfics of her works like other authors have. Heck, if they hadn't brought it up, she probably would have continued to ignore them.

By 2012 she regretted how she handled things, she still didn't like fanfiction of her works but she understood that fanfiction was how some people got into writing and would eventually move on to their own original works. "Live and Let Live" is what she said in an article with metro. She said she was scared that fanfictions would block her. What she meant by block I don't know, but it may be referring to her publishers saying that fanfiction would cannibalize any e-book they published (As Merrick was going to be a e-book exclusive at the time).


At this point in time, who knows.
I remember that she hated how Hollywood butchered her stories when they turned them into movies, and yet AMC now has bought the rights to 2 of her series and is going to make a tv series based on them. I hope Christopher Rice keeps them in line now that Anne isn't there to work on the scripts.


https://youtu.be/oxo_SygM6lQ

trailer for Interview. o3o

I'm not a writer, but I don't like fanfiction as a general rule.
A (good) writer puts so much care in their characters personalities, in the setting, in small details, and it's very complicated (likely impossible!) that another writer gets all the subtleties and keeps all of it with what the original author had in mind (and which might never reached the paper in the original books).

I don't think "small" fanfic writers do any harm because it's just an entertaiment for them, and they share their stories with like-minded readers, and it's just natural for the fanbase to think a lot about the stories they love.
Take for example what-if fanfics, where they re-write completely a part of the story they might have prefered to be different.

But I think "serious" fanfic writers, those whose works have an important reach and are meant to be considered a part of the canon of the collection, are a pain in the ass.



In fact I don't even like much series which are written by several authors, even if those are their original works, cause they often lack that coherence too.

When Fanfiction becomes Canon: YashaHime, Cowboy Bebop Live... yea no thanks..

Lesbian Faye Valentine should stay in peoples fantasies as the original fem fatal who loved the main male character was better. Not because she was straight, but because she wasn't some annoying "I gotta be better than everyone watch this!"


And with YashaHime... Sesshoumaru was basically Usagi Dropped.. they had him mate/marry the child he raised. =3= Rin was totally suppose to be with Kohaku... Even stayed in the village with him at the end. >:x

They ruin shiz when Fanfics become canon. >:x -refuses to see YashaHime as canon-

QnQ its not canon!