I think I must have not heard of these titles before because I tend to read only BL webnovels LOL

OMG Debra how did you pick up your man at the grocery store? Which aisle was he located in? XDDDD

I have no idea how to pick up people. Real life romance is so messy *sighs*
Who needs irl when you can read about Epic Love Stories of other worlds through novels :DDDDD

Well, we met because we were both interviewing for a job at the grocery store. I was a cashier, he worked in the deli.

I picked him up in the bread aisle. I was like hey, we should text. Then I gave him my number and made him text me to make sure that he had the right one. Then we texted back and forth for a while. Then I was like you're cute. We should go on a date. And so we did. Our first date lasted over 8 hours. It was great. We hit it off really fast. We then were like okay, we'll be friends with benefits. But then we caught feelings. Whoops. Now we've been together for 12 years in September.


I think that good places to pick up romantic partners are at places you like and find interesting. Like maybe conventions? Or shows. Arcades. Libraries. Whatever you're into.


Trying to date is the worst. Dating apps suck butt, y'all. Either people are super distant and barely message OR they message you really gross stuff. Sometimes you'll get lucky and they'll seem okay. But then they're like waahhh. I miss my wife and kids, I'm so sad. And I'm like bro, I'm not your therapist. Also I specifically put I won't date people with kids in my profile.

Oh lol. I read a lot of other types of webnovels. Not that i haven’t read BL webnovels but i read hetero ones as well.

But yeah, i’ve never been picked up or picked up anyone anywhere. Granted, i don’t like going out, nor do i have a cellphone so asking for my number would be useless. i’m probably more likely to ask if they have discord lol. XD don’t ask me if i want to get a coffee with you cuz i don’t drink it. XD tea would be a better choice. XD

Wow you go Deb! That's super confident and cool!!

I've tried online dating when I was in uni. Yeah it was a mess, really not a good place to make meaningful connections

Honestly, after various dating and relationship fails, I've actually come to appreciate the idea of family-arranged partnerships.
Obviously not the super intense "meet this person and marry them tmr no buts" kind. But like, being introduced to people through close family. Because then you can at least have the assurance that this person comes from a similar background, and is pre-approved by people you trust. At least in that regard I can see it making life easier LOL

i've never tried anything dating. XD
but, i think i would be more reassured if the person i'm being introduced to is someone the family recommended. or like knew. it some sense. because they might have the same values as you and yeah, i'd feel like i'd trust them more. but it hasn't happened to me yet so...XD

Hotarla wrote: but, i think i would be more reassured if the person i'm being introduced to is someone the family recommended. or like knew. it some sense. because they might have the same values as you and yeah, i'd feel like i'd trust them more.

100% agree with the same values part!

Being kinda stuck in the Asian/Western limbo, I used to try to steer away from "traditional asian values" like good background, stable career, money etc when I was younger. I think it was partly from a subconscious desire to "fit in" more with what I perceived to be the "better" and more "accepting" environment around me.
Long story short, I dated people who didn't prioritize these things, even though I did, and that led to a lot of conflict both external and internally... thus my relationships were crappy and short-lived OTL

I've never used a dating app.
Well, I only really dated one person and that was my husband.
To be honest I did not even "date" him in the sense you people will probably think of dates. The whole asking-out-and-going-to-dinner kind of things seems to me like something out of movies, not something real people would do, just because here it's rather uncommon.
Here we do it... differently.

It's usually not the family recommending someone, but the group of friends. And not in a romantic way but in a social way - it's up to you whether you then get closer to someone or not.
If you are not into someone romantically, one-night stands are faily common though.

Yeahhh if i ever find a partner for myself, i’d prefer someone who could speak chinese (cantonese) because i feel like i wouldn’t be used to the environment if i couldn’t speak or hear someone speaking chinese to me. That and they’ll probably have to know how to celebrate chinese holidays, and maybe go to the buddhist temple like…3 times a year….xD;; those temple visits were predominant throughout my childhood, i’d feel like something was missing if i didn’t have those visits anymore. During those 2-3 years with covid, we couldn’t go to those yearly temple visits and i felt like something was missing.

Like, my sister has been in a relationship with this one guy for years. But he doesn’t speak any cantonese, apart from the little bits he’s learned from my sister or mom or from watching dramas. I don’t know how i’d feel if i had to always speak english to someone……^^;; like at home, we’d always be calling out in chinese and stuff.

I suppose you would figure out a way?
For example, many people talk to their partners in another language, but then switch back to their own language to talk to their children.
It's kinda funny though.

But, yeah, having a similar cultural background makes things easier. At least both know what's going on and how to behave and stuff.
For example the way we relate to our families, what you even consider families - from what I understand from what you've said, Chinese people think of "family" in the same extended way Spanish people do: the cousin three times removed is still family XD
I would freak out if I had a partner who thought his family were only his parents and siblings, and apparently that's so for many people.

I suppose…but like if they don’t even speak the native language(s) i speak, i think there might be a bit of awkwardness and disconnect…xD;; at least, that’s how i would feel. Granted, if i really really liked that person, it might not be much of an issue but i would still prefer it…

Oh, yeah, i would feel the same way too. Like a cousin a few times removed is still family, like extended family relatives whatever but still….i wouldn’t want to marry them bc wow, i’d feel weird. XD;;