JamBerry IceCream wrote:If he says that then tell him you weren't ready to talk about it at the time, but now you are ready.
That's his own problem if he can't accept that.
Oh, yikes. >__< That's tough. Loaning out money to people is always a touchy subject.
Is your boyfriend working?
Sorry for the late reply QAQ
I ended up trying to brush it off, as always
Didn't tell him. There's no point in discussions right now.
Yes, he's working, with a good salary too, but he's got some minor debts of his own, while he was loaning his money to his step-dad... who's in ginormous debt since forever...
He promised to never ever give him any money after he got so angry and calculated how much he gave him and he even cried a bit... because we'd be some half-way down to getting that mortgage loan...
jadepanda-ai wrote:so... really feeling the need to vent...
but since I'm not used to posting things like this online, I will be puting it under as a 'spoiler'
Spoiler
so, in a moment of weakness I asked a dr about seeing a therapist. I had just lost one of my fur-kids, and I couldn't handle the loss emotionally added on with the on-going chronic pain I've been experiencing.
but I'm super frustrated. the therapist I've been assigned to through this clinic seems to work under the concept of emotions=pain, pain=emotions. basically that if I'm in pain and something happens that's calming/relaxing/happy that my pain should go down by default, where that is not the case, and I have stated that many times.
in this latest appointment alone I talked about how when I draw it can be very calming, since drawing can be a very calming hobby-thing. so he kept pushing saying that "since it was calming it must lower physical pain levels" and I continuously told him that's not what happens (I would know, since I've been going through issues for so long...). it also came up that when hanging out with my fur-kids, rats, that they make me feel happy when I'm hanging out with them, even if I have them on my lap with my pain at an unbearable level, which he then kept insisting my pain must have lowered due to my rats making me happy and/or amused by their crazy antics. he would not listen when I told him my pain does NOT go down in these cases and dismissed it as us "butting heads".
it also bothers me that asides from the "pain and emotions are the same thing" opinion he carries. he tried to suggest that my left lung collapsing was psychosomatic, seemingly disregarding the factor that my right lung has collapsed multiple times and that it's a physical issue with my health, not a mental issue. along with he will compare me to other patients, saying that everyone else he sees are so angry they shout and yell or cry and sob when they speak to him. even comparing me to another "rat-person" he met who had a completely differing personality than me... and he says these things as though he doesn't realize that not -everyone- is hot tempered. not -everyone- cries/sobs while talking about things. not -all- rat owners are identical. everyone is different.
I feel like I have more to rant about... but I cannot think of anything else atm... and this is probably long enough as it is....
If you don't click with this therapist, you should ask for someone else to be assigned to you. You have the right to change a therapist if you don't feel comfortable with them for any reason.
Also, rat owner high-five, I have two girls, they're driving me nuts
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We had almost half of what we needed to take a loan for an apartment and we're back to almost nothing thanks to that 
