I have so many things that I desperately want to tell you. These secrets are tearing me apart at the seams. But I can't. I don't want to lose you. But I'm afraid if I keep them inside for any longer, I'm going to burst. I don't know how much more I can take. One false move could end with me screaming them at you. I'm hurting so much, and you don't even care to ask me what's wrong. Not that I want to tell you. But if you asked, I would. I know you said that you would prefer a ugly truth to a beautiful lie any day. But I don't think you'd feel the same way if you knew what it was I have to say.
They aren't MY friends. They're YOURS.
I know that you like her. And it breaks my heart.
I'm not the one who changed. You are.
No matter how hard I try to change my personality, and hide my real self from you, I will never be you.
I lied about changing my personality. I'm not "highlighting a different facet of my self." I'm hiding my true self from you. Since you decided that you didn't like it anymore.
I'm giving up everything that I ever wanted to be with you. I'm sacrificing so much. I'm comprising my entire identity to be with you. And you aren't willing to give me anything in return.
Sometimes, I don't think you're worth it.
I can't be everything you want. And I'm starting to think that I can't be everything you need. I used to be. But you changed.
When did you stop liking who I am?
I know you want me to be more like you. But I cant.
The whole premise of a college party is revolting. The idea of being in a loud, cramped room filled with drunken, high, rowdy strangers in various stages of undress makes my skin crawl.
I don't want to share you. Even though I said I was okay with an open relationship, you being intimate with another person still feels like cheating to me. I just didn't want to lose you.
The idea of someone else touching you makes my skin crawl and my tummy tie in knots.
I don't know how you could ever love someone else AND me at the same time. I feel like a heart isn't big enough for more than one person.
I could never be intimate with anyone else while I am still in love with you. I am destined to spend the rest of my life waiting for you to come home, while you enjoy every person you come across.
What hurts the most is the fear that they could steal you away from me at any moment. Every time you go out to party with your friends, I just sit by the phone and wait to see if you still love me.
I need commitment. But you can only promise me today.
I need stability. And you refuse to promise me anything.
I don't think you can give me everything I need out of life, let alone everything that I want.
I don't think this is working...
I know you've fallen out of love with me. Why do you insist on dragging me around like a rag doll. If you don't love me, then just leave me. Don't watch me drown.
Why don't you love me anymore?
I know that my mental illnesses bother you. I know that you're sick of dealing with me. Sick of comforting me. You're not doing a very good job at hiding it.
Why do you only seem to love me when we have sex?
Would you even miss me if I was gone?
You criticize my parents for not noticing that I am breaking down. But I don't think you've even noticed that I've been suicidal for the past week.
Are you too blind to see that I'm falling apart? Or do you just not care?
I don't think you'd even care if I killed myself tonight. I don't think anyone would. And it would put an end to my suffering. So why not end the pain tonight?
You have such a double standard. If I'm late, it's a personal affront. If you're late, it's completely acceptable.
You know that it TERRIFIES me when you throw things when you're angry. Such a simple thing, yet you refuse to stop, 'cause that's "just how you express your emotions".
I love you. But you're tearing me apart.
You have no intention of having children with me, so why do you keep torturing me by mentioning them?
You have no intention of spending the rest of your life with me, so why keep me around?
If you like her so much, why don't you just date her!?
I don't believe that you really love me anymore.
Good to know that I mean so little to you that you more than happy to ditch our plans to pregame with your friends. Especially when you know I've been down and that you're the only thing that cheers me up lately.
I hate that I love you so much.
I hate that I'm so dependent on you.
If you leave me, all of my plans for the future will be ruined.
If you leave me, I will have nothing left to live for.
If you leave me, I can't promise that I won't kill myself.
I feel like you're gonna string me along 'til you graduate, then kick my ass to the curb and never look back.
You are so concerned about moving out of your aunt and uncle's house so that you can party 24/7 with your friends that you didn't even stop to consider what would be best for US.
You told me that sex meant nothing to you. But it means so much to me. How am I suppose to feel that I sacrificed so much to give you something that you don't even care about?
You're all that I have. And I'm losing you. And there's nothing I can do about it.
I am so afraid of upsetting you that I won't even tell you that I'm suicidal again. Even though I know you could help. I'd risk death to keep you happy.
Maybe you're not worth it, after all.
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