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I'm so conflicted about Quito.
On the one hand, it'll be good for me.
It'll take me out of my comfort zone. It will force me to grow up. It will expose me to new situations. It will expose me to new cultures, new people, new ecosystems, new approaches to environmental policy, new contacts, new ways of thinking, new ways of life, new ways of managing a family. It will help me decide what I want out of life. It will tell me if I want to travel. It will tell me if my relationship with my boyfriend will work out. The homestay will show me how other families work, and help me decide if my relationship with my family is toxic or not. It will help me decide how much of my stress if caused by my family. It will help me decide how soon I need to move out. It will teach me things that will be vital to my career that I cannot get at my current university. It will teach me about myself. It will make me make new friends.
On the other hand, it's terrifying.
I'm so stressed out about it that I am making myself sick. I'm so scared of going that my stress is manifesting itself in terrifying ways - severe auditory, visual, and sensory hallucinations, panic attacks, seizures....the list goes on and on.
What if I'm not ready? I won't have the support systems I have up here when I'm in Quito. What if I can't do it? What if I break down?
My boyfriend says I should do it.
That it would be good for me. For us. For our relationship.
My parents don't think I'm ready.
And I'm scared they're right.
Oh, what do I do?
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They've gotten all confused
16/?
