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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 30th, '18, 12:21    


Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385756

You have hugged Firn!


Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
memoriam, I am sorry the article made you feel that way!
I don't think what we should learn from it is "Why even bother, I won't be lucky anyway and therefore I won't achieve my dreams". You will still need to work towards achieving your dreams, it's not just luck. Yes, you might fail and the chance to fail is actually pretty high. But if you don't even try, you will have failed from the start. It's like saying "I want to win the lottery", but not even buying a lottery ticket. If you buy a lottery ticket you have a tiny chance of winning. If you don't buy one you have absolutely no chance. It's the same with working for your dreams: Yes, the chance of achieving them is very small. Otherwise most people would have awesome jobs that are just or mostly fun, lots of money and would be happy - But we know that this is not the case and that most people have shitty jobs and that the poor outnumber the rich or even middle-class people by far. But if you don't even try your chance is 0% from the start. So don't give up from the start! Yes, your chance of suceeding is small and a lot of luck is required. But if you don't even try, you won't have failed, because you have no luck, but because you did not even try.

I think what we should learn from the article instead is not to be so judgmental, not always believe someone is in a bad situation because it is his own fault. I have very often heard people saying something like for example "Oh, well, if you wanted to have a better life, you should have learned something decent, instead of becoming a hairdresser". But there is always a story behind this. Not everyone has the chance to go to get a great school degree, and it's very often not because these people are stupid or lazy. When I went to the "gymnasium" - I guess a bit like "highschool" - I was the only one there who wasn't from Germany. And it was a teacher who once pointed it out and how rare this was and it made me read up on these things and it turned out that for example immigration children are less likely to get a higher education, because they tend to have more sibilings and often no own room to study in peace, their families have less money to pay for things like private lessons and, since their parents often do not speak the local language so well, they cannot help them with their studies - It's just a lot of cisrcumstances that are not the child's fault. It doens't mean the child cannot make up for it by hard work, but he is less lucky and has a smaller chance to succeed. We have to accept that life is not fair and be more compassionate towards people who are in a bad situation. I don't mean just people with poorly paid jobs, but all kinds of people - immigrants from war countries, homeless people, fat people, whatever. Thinking "It's their own fault" is just the easy way out.

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 30th, '18, 16:05    


memoriam

Joined: Feb 14th, '11, 01:50
Posts: 19445
Hugs: 262448
Mood: Mood.
Location: Poland; in my bubble.
Oh, no, it's not that the article made me feel this way, it's my normal way of thinking, and the article made me realize it :mcheh: :mchappy: I was like "I have this dream" so I'd start working on achieving it, and the next thing I would think about how small chance I have of actually succeeding, and I'd drop it because it's such a small chance. It's really my low self-esteem and no confidence in my own abilities.

This article reminded me about what you said. Sure, it's little chance for success, but if I don't try reaching it, I'll regret it forever, and when I'm old I will be asking myself the inglorious "what if?".

I've always thought going to college was the key to a good job that could support your dreams but right now I'm after my studies, with no job and with not very good social skills to help me find a new one. So I've come to a conclusion it would've been better if I had gone to a school where you finish it and already have the right to a profession. that way you're a specialist in your field and can already do some job to support your living and your dreams, hopefully.
Education doesn't really show you as a person, you can be a professor and still be a dumb prick :qlol: There are too many factors to be taken into consideration for us to be as judgemental as we are nowadays.

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 30th, '18, 16:49    


jacobgrey

Joined: Jun 27th, '10, 20:26
Posts: 10677
Hugs: 153638
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Website: http://www.rhiannondaverc.co.uk
Location: England
I don't like to believe in luck however, not because of saying that it wasn't good luck that brought me here, but rather the other way around. Actually, for a very long time I believed I had bad luck. It didn't matter how hard I tried, no one would notice my efforts. Other people would be chosen for projects. No one would give me a decent chance. On top of that, I happened to do enter the world of art just at the time when the government in this country tried to stop all artistic endeavours by cutting public funding across the board. There were scholarships and funding opportunities I had planned on applying for, which were suddenly taken away. I didn't have a rich start in life, I lived in a rural area with no jobs, etc etc.

This is why I don't like "luck". Because when I believed I had bad luck, it was easy to say it was just luck. It was easy to say "oh no there's no point in me starting a magazine, I always get ignored, I'm so unlucky like that". I could use it as an excuse for why I wasn't getting any results even though I was working so hard. I thought that way for probably three years while I was dreaming this idea of having a magazine.

Because we needed money, I forced myself to swallow my fears and doubts on a small handful of occasions and saw a few good results. Eventually, when I stopped thinking about bad luck and just working hard and smart instead, I got to the good results. Believing in luck held me back for so long.

It's the same way with "overnight success stories". I read up a lot on this when I was feeling unmotivated, feeling like my hard work was going nowhere. There's no such thing as an overnight success story. Very rarely do people just get "lucky" and go viral, and even if it seems that way, usually there's more to the story. It's the result of years of hard work and planning, researching, knowing what people are going to respond to, and so on.

After reading about those, that's when things changed for me. I was looking at my work and even though, yes, I was working hard - I wasn't necessarily working in the right ways. For nearly 10 years I worked as a freelance photographer, for example. I wasted so much money on equipment and studio, I nearly went completely broke, at one point I was living on pieces of dried apple I had found at the back of the cupboard because I couldn't buy food. Where did all that hard work and sacrifice get me? Nowhere. Mostly because the industry is male-dominated and a lot of older photographers already monopolise the big jobs, which I saw as bad luck for me since I'm young and female. Last year when I started the magazine, I still had no position in the industry at all even after trying so hard for so long. So by changing my approach, even though putting in the same amount of work, I started my own magazine and suddenly almost every door in fashion is open to me. 9+ years of nothing, then six months to success. I actually didn't even believe it would happen until it did, I just was sick of not getting what I wanted and wanted to do something desperate.

I think I still have that "bad luck" too. It's still hard to get people to notice my work and give me a decent chance. What changed is inside me, instead. I don't let it hold me back anymore.

Anyway, this is not directed at anyone in particular because I can't comment on someone else's circumstances, but that's how it's been for me. Even if I was working hard, it took all of that hard work for me to realise I was working wrong. The work had to flow in the right direction, otherwise it was like swimming upstream and I would never have got anywhere, even after another 20 or 30 years of working just as hard. It wasn't my luck that changed, just my mental approach.

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First fairy 8.4.15; 2nd 7.6.17
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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 18:37    


Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385756
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
Guess who's rent just got raised by another $120 today?
Just gotta love life right now.... :qsl:

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 19:05    


awitchytraveler

Joined: May 31st, '18, 18:47
Posts: 7
Hugs: 248
Firn wrote:Guess who's rent just got raised by another $120 today?
Just gotta love life right now.... :qsl:
Awww I am so sorry to hear that.

I hope things work out for you. I hate when people are in financial troubles or struggling in some way. I always wanna make things better.

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 19:12    


Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385756
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
Oh, hello, awitchytraveler, I don't think I know you? Welcome to this Hangout! :mcgrin: And of course I thank you for your sympathies.

I think there isn't anything anyone here can do about our situation, besides wishing us luck so we can finally get a new and affordable appartment. This streak of bad luck has been going on for far too long!

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 19:17    


awitchytraveler

Joined: May 31st, '18, 18:47
Posts: 7
Hugs: 248
Hi Firn :D Yep, I am a newbie!! :qcute:

I hope you are able to break that streak of bad luck soon! It's awful when it feels everything is against you D:

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 19:23    


Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385756
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
Then also, welcome to Kingdom Of Knuffel! Unfortuantely it's a bit calm in the forums at the moment. Well, it's a rather calm forum in general, but it's worse than usual right now. I hope you still stick with us.

yeah, with every bad thing that happens I keep thinking that my luck must certainly turn soon, but only more bad things keep happening.
I did find a nice apartment this week that, at least from the description as I have not seen any photos, sounds really nice and I applied for an apartment viewing, but so have I done what feels like a hundret times before and that never worked out for us, so I don't even dare too hope it will work this time. Will only make me feel disappointed again.

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 19:32    


awitchytraveler

Joined: May 31st, '18, 18:47
Posts: 7
Hugs: 248
Haha I was noticing that :D I have other tabs open along with this one so I check back regularly :) Calm forums are the best though. You get to know people much easier ^_^

Maybe you can request photos? I always feel iffy if there are no photos for anything of that nature. But that might just be my paranoid nature :qsweat:

Things'll turn a better way soon. I'm fairly optimistic (or naive/gullible) about life. But I know of struggles of people around the world. I imagine myself as Atlas, wanting to hold the world up and cure all ills.

Do you know approximately when you (and your significant other? friend?) get to tour the apartment?

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 Post subject: Re: THE MYSTERIOUS JELLYFISH DOMINATION ♡
Posted: May 31st, '18, 19:38    


Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 385756
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
I prefer calmer forums myself, though I admit, lately it has been so calm here, that sometimes it was hard to find anyone to talk to. That was abit too calm for my taste.

I guess we (me and my husband) won't get to tour the apartment at all. At least that's how it has mostly been for the past 5 months. I apply for the tour and with this special owner (It's a housing corporation) you already have to send them all kinds of information about yourself, including income, who will move in, reason for moving and so on and then they will pick out a handful of people from all applications that will get a tour. So far we were never picked. Haven't really been very lucky with other landlords. A lot of the times you are supposed to make an appointment for a tour with the current renter and I often can't reach anyone, neither on the phone, mail or text message. And a lot of other times I get told that they already have too many people interested in the apartment and I can't have a tour, even if the ad hasn't been online longer than an hour!
In the 5 months we have been searching for an apartment so far we only got 3 apartment tours in total. :mcsad:

I have a very very slight hope that maybe this time we might be a bit more lucky, because the area the apartment is in isn't a really popular one. Wasn't before and now they are building a refugee camp right across the street from the apartment, which doesn't really make it more popular with many people. So we really hope that not so many people will apply this time

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