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What should the next prize be?
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Total votes : 24
 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: May 23rd, '18, 21:32    
Moi

Moi

Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 21:48
Posts: 54000
Hugs: 519196
Mood: Know you're not alone.
Website: http://seppukuaddict.deviantart.com/
Location: \8u/

I hate beans too.
It's a thing - beans and rice. Mexican.

Honestly, I have my plot already payed for at the same place.
I don't want to be buried there. I don't really think I even want to buried at all.
But like everything - I get no choice. My choices are made for me. Even with my death.

Well, he's right xD
But I still would likely not do that.
But that has to do with my trust in strangers.
I don't have any >Bu

She's ignorant and doesn't like being told she's wrong and being wrong.
Just like how my back is currently fucked up and I can barely walk or sit and she wants me to go out and do fucking yardwork.
Like yeah I can barely lean forward enough to wipe my own ass - PERFECT TIME FOR YARDWORK.
Sorry to complain to you, but this is SHIT.
My sister constantly hits and kicks me in my back and my aunt demands I do shit that nearly kills me and if I'm hurting, it's not too bad. I can still work.

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"I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears."
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 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: May 24th, '18, 03:31    
Sunlight

Sunlight

Joined: Mar 5th, '12, 03:50
Posts: 3796
Hugs: 137806

You have hugged Sunlight!


Mood: Reflective
Website: http://kofk.de/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=13052
Location: Within the Looking Glass
Oh, I know. But being Korean, I think of rice as being Asian thing first and foremost and so associate beans with Mexican cuisine, instead. Even though rice and beans is a thing in Korean cuisine, as well, though it's very different from Mexican beans and rice.

Sorry to hear that. Maybe put it in your will that you be cremated instead and maybe they will? And the plot can be used for someone else in your family. I mean, you probably would outlive the people who arranged that, right?

Yeah, I wouldn't want people sneaking up on me in a cemetery, either. Or anywhere else.

Why is your sister doing that? I thought you two got along. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through that. Are you doing your back exercises?

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Zia's uncoloured mule
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 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: May 30th, '18, 01:28    
Moi

Moi

Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 21:48
Posts: 54000
Hugs: 519196
Mood: Know you're not alone.
Website: http://seppukuaddict.deviantart.com/
Location: \8u/

It's funny because I love a lot of Mexican dishes. A lot more than I thought I did. But I skip the beans and rice xD

That's how a lot people put it - they'll die long before I do and I can change it xD
She gets mad and slaps at me and hits me in the back or kicks me when she's half asleep and I annoy her.

I do some exercises. I'm not entirely what to do specifically because I don't know exactly what's wrong.
I lie on my back and kind of do leg stretches because it's my lower back that goes out.
Aki said it's because I'm fat and she and others say my big boobs don't help.
It's like when Charlie Brown put that bulb on his pathetic tree.
xD

I posted it on Facebook and you might read it, but I'll post it here 8u
Spoiler
I was thinking about the existence of an afterlife when I was going to sleep. Because that is the perfect time to think about such things.

I always believed in the afterlife and God and Jesus.
Being raised in a Christian school makes it hard not to believing those things.
But my religious breakdown came along and it left a ton of damage that will never heal.
In that time, I believed I'd burn in hell for eternity no matter what and if God even existed and if there's an afterlife and if I'm worshiping the wrong thing and will go to some equivalent of hell for it.
These thoughts were constant in my mind and I was a walking panic attack for over a year.

Anyways, I know people that don't believe in God and the afterlife and such. It made me question the point of living because if we just disappear forever - there is no point.
Why be born just to suffer and die and leave everything you love behind?
I don't see a point to living if you just disappear.
All the pain and grief don't matter because once you're gone - it's over. You feel nothing. You are nothing. And nothing you ever did mattered because the people that loved you die and mean nothing. Anything good you may have accomplished means nothing because everyone just disappears and there's no point in doing anything ever. There's no point to living because life is pointless.

Then I made a joke about a drunk fish and went to sleep.


But at the same time during my breakdown, I thought it would be nice to die and just cease to exist.
No more fear or pain. Nothing.
But it's also scary.

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"I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears."
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 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: May 30th, '18, 07:59    
Sunlight

Sunlight

Joined: Mar 5th, '12, 03:50
Posts: 3796
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Location: Within the Looking Glass
Well, there you go. I don't like kimchi. Or the Korean way of doing eggplants. Blech.

Can you sleep in different beds?

Oh, I haven't seen that episode. I don't know if it'll help, but my physiotherapist got me to do wall squats when I was having trouble with my back.

I want to hear that joke about drunk fish.

I know how you feel. I think the same. It's like Queen: "I don't want to die; sometimes I wish I've never been born at all". But that's scary in its own way.

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Zia's uncoloured mule
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 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: Jun 3rd, '18, 21:25    
Moi

Moi

Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 21:48
Posts: 54000
Hugs: 519196
Mood: Know you're not alone.
Website: http://seppukuaddict.deviantart.com/
Location: \8u/

You know what was always weird to me?
People will say Mexican food makes them go to the bathroom a lot and violently.
It never does that to me o_O
Only things I feel are full and satisfied >>

Nah, not really. But my aunt said she'll give me her mattress.

I saw this gif of a fish drinking beer.
I joked about how it was willingly drinking and when it was done, it rammed into things and the other fish were like "OH MY GOD THAT FISH IS INEBRIATED!" and they took his keys because fish sometimes drive cars under the water.
Here's the video:
Spoiler



Yup exactly. I've often wish I was never born. Especially since I'm not Christ-like and enjoy my life and things I enjoy and it's like...if I can't be happy, I wish I was never born xD

(0) (0)
Image

"I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears."
    Top
 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: Jun 3rd, '18, 21:51    
Sunlight

Sunlight

Joined: Mar 5th, '12, 03:50
Posts: 3796
Hugs: 137806
Mood: Reflective
Website: http://kofk.de/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=13052
Location: Within the Looking Glass
It's the beans, I think. And mostly for people who don't eat beans all that often, I think. Maybe some people are intolerant to beans like people are intolerant of lactose. Who knows? Or maybe they just eat crappy Mexican food.

Well, hope that helps to keep her from kicking you.

Ahaha so ridiculous and looks like the fish climbed up to the boat for this the way his fin is on the rim of the boat. lol maybe they do this often.

Didn't Jesus say to celebrate all things? I think it's okay to enjoy your life and the things you enjoy.

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Zia's uncoloured mule
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 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: Jun 10th, '18, 21:35    
Moi

Moi

Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 21:48
Posts: 54000
Hugs: 519196
Mood: Know you're not alone.
Website: http://seppukuaddict.deviantart.com/
Location: \8u/

Spiciness probably doesn't help either.
My stomach is basically a garbage pit.
8u

I KNOW. He legit wanted a beer O_o
Maybe he fell off the wagon u8

Well, there's a whole thing about "Jesus wouldn't do that!" "That's not Christlike!" and I don't want to be CHRIST. I want to be me. 8u


We went to see my mom yesterday.

She said this one girl, she said she didn't understand how a drug rehab class would help her.
My mom asked why she was in there and the girl said murder for 19-20 years.
My mom said "How old are you?" and the girl said "39" and my mom told her the classes reach more than just drug addicts and told her to listen to what was being said and to learn from it.

My mom also said there's a new girl where she is.
My mom asked for a couple of her chips while they were making a cake for someone and the girl said sure.

The same girl started telling people my mom eyes what everyone else has and wants everything to herself.
And she told my mom that my mom thinks people like her, but they don't and everyone talks behind her back.

She also said she hates Texas because we're inbred and shit.

Instead of losing her cool, my mom went

Mom: -walks into bunk- So, I heard you all talk about me behind my back 8u
Them: No! Who said that o___O
Mom: She did. -points-

And my mom said this little Mexican lady walked over to the girl and was like "Miss Lori doesn't do that! You need to apologize to her!"

(0) (0)
Image

"I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears."
    Top
 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: Jun 13th, '18, 09:24    
Sunlight

Sunlight

Joined: Mar 5th, '12, 03:50
Posts: 3796
Hugs: 137806
Mood: Reflective
Website: http://kofk.de/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=13052
Location: Within the Looking Glass
Hmm. I know spicy food gives people stomachaches but I didn't realize that also made bowel movements more intense.

lol fell off the boat.

Yeah, but a part of being Christian is striving to become like Christ because He's the example of perfection.

Ooh, good. I hope you guys had a good visit. Damn. Drama everywhere. I hope she behaves herself after that.

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Zia's uncoloured mule
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 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: Jun 14th, '18, 00:58    
Moi

Moi

Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 21:48
Posts: 54000
Hugs: 519196
Mood: Know you're not alone.
Website: http://seppukuaddict.deviantart.com/
Location: \8u/

I think I have IBS so anything could screw me up, I guess xD
I actually have to call the gastro place because my doctor referred me >>

Yeah, but that's not realistic to me. I know I'm imperfect and I enjoy the person I am and the things I do. I see no reason to push myself to be as much like Christ as possible because that won't happen. I'm a good person and I'm happy. That's what matters to me 8u

My mom actually brought it up and she said "Why do you keep bringing up old shit >8u" and my mom said "Because you actually did that 8u"

My mom is a good person. My dad is a good person.
And I acknowledge they've done wrong things and people will hate on them for that.
But you don't talk shit about my parents anywhere near me.
I've learned to hold my tongue, but some things get to me easily xD

I had a dream with racist people in it.
My parents were shopping and someone was being racist to them, so I decided to do it for them and the cashier was saying she hates us because she hates Jews and being an asshole.
But we're not Jewish. All we did was buy bagels and have glasses o_O
And the cashier was a little old Mexican lady.
And when I tried to call management on them, they told us to wait two weeks and basically let everyone "Get over it"
>>


(0) (0)
Image

"I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me,
I can taste it in your tears."
    Top
 Post subject: Re: The ₡a$i₦o
Posted: Jun 14th, '18, 09:11    
Sunlight

Sunlight

Joined: Mar 5th, '12, 03:50
Posts: 3796
Hugs: 137806
Mood: Reflective
Website: http://kofk.de/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=13052
Location: Within the Looking Glass
Oh, but I thought Mexican food didn't mess with your stomach.

You should do that! Unless you need to pay and you can't afford to. I don't know what medical insurance is like down in States but everything I heard sounds really bad.

No, it's not realistic. But there's a difference between trying your hardest despite the fact you know you won't succeed and not even trying because you know you won't succeed. There's inherent value in trying that's separate from success. That's what I believe.

lol aw. Sounds like she didn't learn her lesson? Or maybe she did and they're good buddies who give each other hard times? Hard to tell through text.

Wow lol that's really hilarious. I remember a dream where I had an identical twin sister who was also a gorilla.

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Zia's uncoloured mule
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