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❣COME JABBER WITH ME❣
Otherwise the Queen of Hearts will lop off your head  10%  [ 23 ]
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Total votes : 231
 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 20th, '17, 10:03    


Dearest

Joined: Feb 6th, '15, 19:16
Posts: 6176
Hugs: 133352
Mood: spiritual
Location: a remote internet isle
Yeah, dude. Especially now that I know just why my body messed up so bad (the way unhealthy lifestyle of 11th-12th) and now that I can't even do yoga (I'm having to go to the bathroom at yoga timings) this is something that's the least I can do.

I got both last month and this month's GotQ. I used my debit card to create a PayPal account and I'm using the funds that are supposed to be for college survival to donate to KofK :mcheh: my parents will be far from happy if they find out, but will they ever find out, is the question.

I made a thread about first donations and Illyria said she doesn't see it as any different from going out to a movie. You're buying fun. And seeing as I can't go out for movies and I miss a lot of events even when they happen right on campus because of my health, I feel like I deserve to donate...

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Stroctoperry wrote:Because KofK trumps homework, for some reason.
Death Candy wrote:I just realized that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. And if you were a female praying mantis you'd have all three.
Akili Li wrote:People talk about bravery in these super dramatic terms like it only applies to soldiers going to war, but for all that I think true courage is found in the hard every day moments of social interaction and standing up for what you believe in even when it's not life-or-death, when it's instead a matter of approval-or-ostracization among people whose opinions you care about. That's harder, to my mind. That's an ongoing, you have to live with it forever thing, instead of one single moment that's the exception instead of the rule.
AsheSkyler wrote:Bless the modern era's availability of so much art and creativity. [...]our ability to connect and share such wonderful things makes it a good time to be alive. :qh:


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 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 20th, '17, 10:37    


CycloneKira

Joined: May 8th, '14, 13:36
Posts: 1763
Hugs: 48538

You have hugged CycloneKira!


Mood: I'm trying.
Website: http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/
Location: On a rooftop somewhere
Did they ask you to mention your IBS on any of the admission papers when you joined?

O. M. G. If I even tried that, my parents would know in a flash because the debit card I have is my mom's FML. If I make even one off transaction, she'll know about it and be on the phone in an instant (true story, I once used my debit card in a supermarket here and my mom called to find out if it really was me using the card because I usually use cash and not the card.) First semester was especially terrible because I kept getting calls from her asking me why I was withdrawing money, and what I was going to use it for and shit. Then they decided to pull out all the money in the account and only put in as much as I needed, when I asked them. This situation got better when I came home because of the chicken pox and we just decided it would be a little less stressful if they just put in a fixed amount every month and let me use it however. Thank God.

(0) (0)
It's not over yet.
There's a lot to look forward to.
Keep going.
You can do this :)
Leonard Snart wrote:There are only four rules you have to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.
1st fairy - June 3rd, 12:06 AM IST

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 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 20th, '17, 15:31    


saiyouri

Joined: Apr 28th, '10, 03:07
Posts: 2122
Hugs: 34611
Mood: Sleep & Winter where are you
Location: In the secret world of pajamas
Kira I really hope things get a bit easier for you. Sounds hard in school for you *hugs*

True Amba. I swear in Ohio where we live doctors are horrible all around. The moron we saw yesterday... never worked out. We walked out of the appointment. He first told hubby that he will get to him about his problems when he was just explaining that at times his brain breaks and can't think, then he told me he wasn't asking for a list of what I had when I was just answering his question. Then he told me to pick up the pen as an order (knowing I am an abuse victim....), just because I didn't fill out 3 questions on his stupid form. Like what was wrong with me, and on a scale of 0-10 how I felt. There was another I think but no idea what it was.... I was in pain. Lower back pain from that time of the month and with being anemic and weather warming up my brain died. I told him that I didn't want to think and that's when he told me to pick up the pen.. And I don't think he believes me what I have an arrhythmia. I was trying to explain what happens with my heart at times and that's when he said he wasn't asking for a medical diagnosis. I'm giving up on doctors.

Unless something severe happens I refuse to see anyone. I'll figure out somehow to quit smoking on my own with anxiety problems that get worse when I quit. I'm done with people who don't believe me or won't listen to me. Heck in Wisconsin where I'm from no doctor would of done that to us with what happened yesterday. I've seen a few no one would pull that there. They'd might just go behind your back if they think you are abusing your kids when you are just seeking mental help and explain no harm comes to kids (happened to someone I know who had bad post par tum depression and stayed away from their kids and called mom to say what's going on and only watched them from a distance (they were babies) but thankfully nothing happened from them calling child protection.)

So today I'm going to try to ignore things and calm down. We are to get 80 temp today and I had a panic attack when I saw that when I woke up <.< Smart idea smarty pants. I did notice my mom posting on facebook so I know she's ok. Who knows what's going on. She even forgot how old her only child is so it most likely nothing like you said just me getting overly worried for nothing. I might call her when I feel better. Don't want stress in me when I do so. Her health isn't that great and it's hard as it is to hear her on the phone so wanna make sure all is calm on my end before I do that.

I hope everyone is doing good. God I hate the upcoming months lol.

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 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 20th, '17, 20:40    


CycloneKira

Joined: May 8th, '14, 13:36
Posts: 1763
Hugs: 48538
Mood: I'm trying.
Website: http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/
Location: On a rooftop somewhere
Spoiler
Really need people to read this. The latest post. I wrote it today in a fit of semi-madness. It's just a bunch of my thoughts put down in an extremely unorganized manner, but there it is.

http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/blog

(0) (0)
It's not over yet.
There's a lot to look forward to.
Keep going.
You can do this :)
Leonard Snart wrote:There are only four rules you have to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.
1st fairy - June 3rd, 12:06 AM IST

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 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 20th, '17, 20:59    


Dearest

Joined: Feb 6th, '15, 19:16
Posts: 6176
Hugs: 133352
Mood: spiritual
Location: a remote internet isle
I had to submit a Declaration of Good Health vouched for by a doctor. (In the list of ailments I had to report if I had one of them, there was something called 'digestive system disorder', so I asked my mom if we had to mention I had IBS. But because IBS wasn't specifically mentioned, because the doctors we saw were perfectly willing to sign the declaration while giving me advice about IBS, and because if I couldn't declare good health I would not be allowed to attend college, we signed it and gave it in.)

Also, about that post. You may not be able to find something you love doing with your whole heart. But if you like it enough that you feel it makes your life meaningful, that's good enough. If you can find something that you're able to want to do, that's good enough. No matter what, you have to go on, life has to go on.

I know they told us at school that we all have talents and shit, and we all have some special role in this world. But we don't. We're just here, we're born and we die. There is no purpose. The only purpose is happiness- because isn't everything we do supposed to be for that end? Too often we lose sight of that end.

You don't need to figure out your purpose. Just figure out how to be as happy as you can, and keep going with life.

Maybe you can copy-paste and post it in Life Issues, with some context about how you were considering leaving law school.

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Stroctoperry wrote:Because KofK trumps homework, for some reason.
Death Candy wrote:I just realized that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. And if you were a female praying mantis you'd have all three.
Akili Li wrote:People talk about bravery in these super dramatic terms like it only applies to soldiers going to war, but for all that I think true courage is found in the hard every day moments of social interaction and standing up for what you believe in even when it's not life-or-death, when it's instead a matter of approval-or-ostracization among people whose opinions you care about. That's harder, to my mind. That's an ongoing, you have to live with it forever thing, instead of one single moment that's the exception instead of the rule.
AsheSkyler wrote:Bless the modern era's availability of so much art and creativity. [...]our ability to connect and share such wonderful things makes it a good time to be alive. :qh:


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 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 20th, '17, 21:24    


CycloneKira

Joined: May 8th, '14, 13:36
Posts: 1763
Hugs: 48538
Mood: I'm trying.
Website: http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/
Location: On a rooftop somewhere
Ambarsariya wrote:I had to submit a Declaration of Good Health vouched for by a doctor. (In the list of ailments I had to report if I had one of them, there was something called 'digestive system disorder', so I asked my mom if we had to mention I had IBS. But because IBS wasn't specifically mentioned, because the doctors we saw were perfectly willing to sign the declaration while giving me advice about IBS, and because if I couldn't declare good health I would not be allowed to attend college, we signed it and gave it in.)
F*CK.

God, I don't even remember what I wrote now. *runs back and reads* *cringes*

Dude, how did that even make sense to you? It's so abstract and so random, even I can't understand it.

You're right about the purpose thing, and I know it, I guess I just lost sight of that in my sadness.

Thing is, I do have a talent. And I do want to use it. I'm just too scared to give it a shot and fight for it.

I'm too scared to fight for it.

Gosh, self-awareness can be such a bitch.

At risk of sounding like a wuss, what do I do?

(0) (0)
It's not over yet.
There's a lot to look forward to.
Keep going.
You can do this :)
Leonard Snart wrote:There are only four rules you have to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.
1st fairy - June 3rd, 12:06 AM IST

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 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 21st, '17, 12:24    


Dearest

Joined: Feb 6th, '15, 19:16
Posts: 6176
Hugs: 133352
Mood: spiritual
Location: a remote internet isle
I ranted at you generously over in JK's Tranquil Hangout. I hope it's able to get some sense into you.

Fighting for it doesn't have to be scary, because it doesn't have to be dangerous. Instead of just dreaming, work out the specifics.

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Stroctoperry wrote:Because KofK trumps homework, for some reason.
Death Candy wrote:I just realized that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. And if you were a female praying mantis you'd have all three.
Akili Li wrote:People talk about bravery in these super dramatic terms like it only applies to soldiers going to war, but for all that I think true courage is found in the hard every day moments of social interaction and standing up for what you believe in even when it's not life-or-death, when it's instead a matter of approval-or-ostracization among people whose opinions you care about. That's harder, to my mind. That's an ongoing, you have to live with it forever thing, instead of one single moment that's the exception instead of the rule.
AsheSkyler wrote:Bless the modern era's availability of so much art and creativity. [...]our ability to connect and share such wonderful things makes it a good time to be alive. :qh:


    Top
 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 21st, '17, 13:01    


CycloneKira

Joined: May 8th, '14, 13:36
Posts: 1763
Hugs: 48538
Mood: I'm trying.
Website: http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/
Location: On a rooftop somewhere
Dude. I saw that. And it IS SO SCARY. I don't f**king know why. Actually, I do know why.
Spoiler
The last time I considered this, the one thing that really discouraged me was the way my parents started assuming I would get over my sudden impulsiveness the very next day. They started telling me to study for my midsems in case I decide to go back and dude, I actually believed for a while that I was impulsive. It took me coming back here to realize that I wasn't being impulsive after all.

(0) (0)
It's not over yet.
There's a lot to look forward to.
Keep going.
You can do this :)
Leonard Snart wrote:There are only four rules you have to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.
1st fairy - June 3rd, 12:06 AM IST

    Top
 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 21st, '17, 13:48    


Dearest

Joined: Feb 6th, '15, 19:16
Posts: 6176
Hugs: 133352
Mood: spiritual
Location: a remote internet isle
Ok, dude, just get into music college. I'd recommend Music Production but that degree isn't offered in India so do the next best thing. Most of the colleges, because they're ancient government colleges, have an Indian Classical Music based syllabus, and I know you're not averse to that. You might be able to find private colleges with a different take, like I know Symbiosis has a music degree (but I don't know how much focus is given to the performance aspect of it in that course because it's under the liberal arts department.)

Get into music college, hopefully into a hostel so you're away from home. They'll probably punish you for your decision, sure. But if you just take the path of least resistance, that's a much longer punishment, with much more lasting consequences.

It doesn't matter if you missed the application deadlines, just apply the next round. And look around, there might be colleges whose academic calendar is different and you can still make it this round. JUST DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

(0) (0)
Stroctoperry wrote:Because KofK trumps homework, for some reason.
Death Candy wrote:I just realized that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. And if you were a female praying mantis you'd have all three.
Akili Li wrote:People talk about bravery in these super dramatic terms like it only applies to soldiers going to war, but for all that I think true courage is found in the hard every day moments of social interaction and standing up for what you believe in even when it's not life-or-death, when it's instead a matter of approval-or-ostracization among people whose opinions you care about. That's harder, to my mind. That's an ongoing, you have to live with it forever thing, instead of one single moment that's the exception instead of the rule.
AsheSkyler wrote:Bless the modern era's availability of so much art and creativity. [...]our ability to connect and share such wonderful things makes it a good time to be alive. :qh:


    Top
 Post subject: Re: Jคცც૯Րω૦८қע JυՈ८੮ɿ૦Ո (come on in!)
Posted: Apr 21st, '17, 16:52    


CycloneKira

Joined: May 8th, '14, 13:36
Posts: 1763
Hugs: 48538
Mood: I'm trying.
Website: http://kira-chansnewblog.weebly.com/
Location: On a rooftop somewhere
F*CK.
Spoiler
Not proud of it, but there is nothing I want more than to get seriously drunk right now. Five nice shots should do the trick.

(0) (0)
It's not over yet.
There's a lot to look forward to.
Keep going.
You can do this :)
Leonard Snart wrote:There are only four rules you have to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan.
1st fairy - June 3rd, 12:06 AM IST

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