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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 01:25    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 382460
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
I am not working on anything right now as starkad isn't able to keep up with his ToDo list.

I even highly doubt that we will have the Thank You items finished by August.

As always he promised me he would have them done by date X, but didn't do anything at all so far. It's always the same. I wouldn't be so upset when he just told me "Sorry, I don't have time", but he keeps telling me "I'll have that done by then and then" or "I'll have time for you next week" but then he doesn't do a thing.

I know he really has a lot to do at his job, but whenever he has some spare time he keeps partying with his friends which always shows me how everything else is so much more important than me. I wouldn't promise anyone "I'll do this for you" and then just go to some LAN party instead. But he always does things like this. It's not that I don't grant him having fun in his free time, he'd probably go nuts if work (no matter whether for his job or this site).

I know I don't have any right to complain, it's not really any of my business what he does in his free time and if getting drunk or smoking pot with his friends each night is what fulfills his everyday life I should just keep my mouth shut.

I think I am rather disappointed than upset...
I just have the feeling I am doing art and art and art for this site every day, putting so much time and effort into this and it's all for nothing because he'll never add it to the site anyway.
And when I try to do something on my own, like when I tried to make some people moderators and messed up with the control panel he complained about it and asked why I tried to do it on my own instead of asking him? WHY? Because I knew if I asked him he wouldn't have any time.

There is no point in having the art prepared for the next 20 years when there is no one to implement the stuff I make to the site, so don't expect anything new from me here for quite a while.

Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate starkad and all the work he put into this for me. I am still more thankful for the things he has done for the site than unhappy about the things he hasn't done. I hope I don't sound too unthankful, because that's not how I feel.

I just wish he would be able to tell me "I don't have the time to make this for you" openly, and I wish he wouldn't pretend that he can't do all this stuff just because of work (as I've said, even though I know that his job really takes up a lot of his time), when I know that he keeps meeting with his friends every day. I mean, it's "Thursday - Elli's party, Friday - Mandy's party, Saturday - LAN party, Sunday - Roleplaying, Monday - Meeting with his Ex-girlfriend, Thuesday - Roleplaying" this week. I felt a bit fooled when he told me "Sorry, that I have a job" in a very pissed off voice when I asked him about the Thank you items today and why he hasn't worked on them yet like he promised me to.

It's just this lies and excuses, and this getting postponed because everyone and everything else is more important than me. He always makes me feel as if I was the last shit on earth not worth anything and that everything else comes first.

I hate bothering him about this site so much, sometimes I really wish I could just never call/see/write him again, so he would stop making me feel like this.

I am sorry for my ranting here, it's just that I feel really bad right now, I am so sick and tired of all of this, because I want to stop depending on starkad or any other person in my life and just when I think I managed to, this site puts me back into this position I hate so much, where I have to rely on him.
As if this wasn't bad enough his behaviour forces me to ask again and again about when he'll do something for the site reminding me about this situation each time I have to ask.
This is kind of private, but I am really trying hard to manage my life on my own, not to depend on anyone else, especially not on starkad, but this site just won't let me. I hate KOfK on days like this, because something that was supposed to be fun suddenly puts me into this bondage that makes me depend on other people.

Thinking this over (or better said, re-reading what I wrote) I rather feel that I am not so upset about starkad not doing what I asked him for, but rather about the fact that I depend on him and just can't do this on my own. I should be more mad at me than at him...I probably even am.

Now I feel stupid.

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 01:38    
JammerLea

JammerLea

Joined: Jun 27th, '08, 18:52
Posts: 208
Hugs: 3191
Website: http://www.jamsammich.net
Location: Michigan
You shouldn't be mad at yourself. It's not your fault he's being unreliable, especially when the site has made it this far... it seems like you both HAVE put a lot into the whole thing.

Joint ventures are always a challenge.

Have to you talked to him at all and asked him to be more open rather than make empty promises? Honestly, that would make anyone frustrated and angry. Anytime you do something as a team, you know... you want to be able to rely on that other person, and if it's something you want to pursue seriously, then ALL the people involved NEED to be serious about it.

I'm not sure how difficult scripting is for this site, but I think even if it was just little-by-little each day, even that would be productive enough to show through on the site. I've done website work before and... it's not hard once you get the hang of it, but it's tedious and can be easy to get distracted from. Still, it's something you've got to be dedicated to and put effort into.

I dunno, if he doesn't have time for it, he needs to suck it up and admit that rather than give a bunch of empty promises. He shouldn't make you or your site suffer like that. If it comes down to he just can't do it, or doesn't want to do it anymore, he needs to step down and let someone else take over.

In anycase, I wish you luck. I've been looking forward to the development of this community, and hearing that there's such a setback for you... it makes me frustrated too. :|

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 08:23    
HomicidalChocolate

HomicidalChocolate

Joined: Apr 19th, '08, 19:34
Posts: 378
Hugs: 8283
Mood: Would you risk your life for the chance to be one of the first people to explore other galaxies?
Location: Michigan, USA
Firn, your situation sounds like what me and my boyfriend go through all the time. I ask him to do something, and he says he'll do it. I tell him that if he doesn't want to do it or can't, just tell me. Instead he keeps insisting he'll do it but doesn't and gets upset that I keep pushing him to do it. And he has plenty of time to do it, he just chooses not to, plays video games, and then claims he 'doesn't have the time'.

Anyway, I understand. I'm also the type to do things on my own instead of relying on others. If you wanted to learn some coding, I can suggest something. Save the coding for the pages you want to play with BEFORE playing with them. Then open the code in something like notepad and play around with it and test it in the web browser to see if it works. You can read up on it and practice. Then when you get the hang of it, you can try using the code for the site. And if it doesn't work right, you have the old code saved somewhere and won't have to worry about starkad going nuts because you ruined the code. XD

I know it sounds like a lot of work, but I'm just making suggestions. If you needed help, you could maybe start a topic and talk about things you'd like to do. Then people can give you suggestions on how to do it.

Or if starkad REALLY doesn't trust you with the coding, tell him that if he won't do it, you'll do it yourself. XD That might push him to do it.

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 09:45    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 382460
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
Ah, forget about it all people.
I was just feeling major down yesterday, but it's already much better today.

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 18:52    
contagiousmusicfreak

contagiousmusicfreak

Joined: Jul 23rd, '08, 22:09
Posts: 33
Hugs: 676
Website: http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/14554950
Yahoo Messenger: joannajh1996
Location: H-Town
WOW, I can't believe I read all of that, I feel for your Firn....I rely on people all the time and I just can't help it....But at least starkad helped some people yesterday on answering some questions in the support forum!^_^ That's a good thing right? :qsml: I was online when starkad was answering some questions so starkad was at least being helpful once in a while:) Good Luck on the site Firn! You got my hope for you :qw:

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 19:06    
Firn

Illustrator
Firn

Joined: Apr 14th, '07, 00:58
Posts: 5861
Hugs: 382460
Mood: [¬º-°]¬
Location: Utsusemi
As I've said, just forget about it. I was just upset yesterday for absolutely no particular reason and had to find something I could rant about. It's okay now.
Of course I know starkad is doing stuff for the site. He is even doing much more than most of you think, as most of what he does are small additions to the coding most people wouldn't notice.

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 19:09    
JammerLea

JammerLea

Joined: Jun 27th, '08, 18:52
Posts: 208
Hugs: 3191
Website: http://www.jamsammich.net
Location: Michigan
Well, as long as you're feeling better. Just don't let things get to a point where you just explode. :qmeh: Good luck~ :qn:

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 21:22    
Yuuko

Yuuko

Joined: Jun 18th, '08, 17:27
Posts: 2995
Hugs: 49620
Mood: Tired...
Location: Among the Stars
Ahh...I hope for the best for your site ^^. Please don't get too pissed off, it'll make us worry for u D:. So! if you get frustrated again I'll poke your eye! x]

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 28th, '08, 22:21    
Michichis

Michichis

Joined: Apr 28th, '08, 09:50
Posts: 1715
Hugs: 41163
Website: http://kofk.de/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=25812&start=0
Location: Pearl of the Caribbean
... everything has been said by everyone else, so I'll just send you lots of hugs and wubsies Firn ...

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 Post subject: Re: FIRN'S ART UPDATES
Posted: Jul 29th, '08, 05:56    
Mikael Hart

Mikael Hart

Joined: Apr 16th, '07, 05:34
Posts: 18419
Hugs: 276289
Mood: Hugs are death squeezes.
Website: http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/mikael-hart/6844374/
Location: Lordship of Wuffel
@ Mouse: Tell me about it. I don't want to touch anything except the sink to wash my hands if I have to use the public restroom.

@ Firn: Ah, I was worried when I first read your post, but reading the posts that followed, I'm glad you're feeling better. Everyone has days like that. It's good to know that you feel open enough with KofK to share your feelings with us; we all care about your Firn. :qsml:

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