Congrats to Xaevan!

Well, sure it's not necessary to live with a person to see if they're the right one. But pesonally I would like to see what's it like to share the bed, roof and fate with the person. Because a peson you're getting flowers and chocolates from and a person you wake up with and wait when he get's out of the WC are different people, you know. And I want to see the way we are able to cope with FAMILY problems before marriage. And not after. Because divorse is a nervous process. And if I see that a man doesn't want to solve stupid everyday problems with me - I want to get rid of him. XD

I mean a couple of months spent together are a good test to your realtions and how much both of you really want to be together, go through crises, cheer each other up and so on. Seing the same face while waking up and going to bed and during the whole day is a challenge, for sure. It's truly
for loving and wishing to love hearts only.


By the way, two of my OCs practive abstinence... One because of religious views and another because she's married. And it was an arrange marriage. XD
So she doesn't sleep with her husband because she doesn't love him and she doesn't sleep with anyone else because she thinks she must be faithfull no matter whether she loves him or not.

At present I see marriage making sense with two purposes: having children (well, please make sure to get married before you give birth to someone. You're bound now forever, you know. You no longer belong to yourself and the only thing that counts is the child) and just the ritual of the wedding, the process itself. With all the beauty and joy and the wedding night (the newly weds must really try hard to make this night something specail for each other. but on the other hand there won't be any dissapointment becaue "her feet stink after the whole day of wearing these stockings and new uncomfortable but shiny shoes" - guy, you've lived together for a long time and you know for sure that girls don't naturally smell roses and herbs and rainbow of your desire. they're human).

So living together before getting married gives you a good lesson that your partner is not a magical ideal creature who has unlimited access to flovers, plushes and newest graphic devices - but they're mere mortal, too. And she has to shave legs and other parts but it hurts her skin as well as yours, though you don't shave at all lately. And he also has stomach upsets and hangover and YOU must go to the chemist's and fetch him some medicine to ease his unattractive sufferings.

And wedding, yes, it makes sence if you want an "all so beautiful" and "he's only mine" day.
But marriage gives no guarantees that he's all yours... Only you can make this guarantee and it doesn't matter married or not...

IMHO. XD


And as for the "poor woman"... Well, you see she married a man because her aunt and uncle were poor and told her "you see, child... the lord is proposing to you... it's an honor... and you have nearly no dowry", she was 16 (17 in a few months) and understood that her sacrifice would help her family not to die from hunger (her parents had died of some disease when she was very little and she barely remembers them). So it was her own choice to marry the man she never knew. Of course her relatives had just sold her. But well, she could have run away and all that jazz, in other words she could resist. but she decided not to as these people have brought her up and given her everything she had and the only way she could pay them was to let them sell her.
And her husband did not love her either. He just HAD to marry someone by the end of some time period (his noble family insisted) and he chose her just randomly. So he was like "don't worry, it's just a show, you don't owe me anything" and quite indifferent towards her. Actually he married her to spite his family because she was definitely a wrong candidacy and his position was "You want me to marry before that time? Alright I will, but you're going to regret it!" He was 26. Young and impudent. XD

An that's not all. Damn, I must create a character sheet and write the story there. XD
It's really looong...

Hi again!
What's kendo? Some martial art?

Congratulations! ;)