I did ask him about it. I told him this is the year he finishes the story. Back me up on this.

It's not that I like Rimmer, exactly. It's more that I like certain specific aspects of Rimmerness, some of which have now appeared in Loki. It's complicated. I'm complicated.

But isn't your antipathy toward too much dance also a sort of sonic fatigue? But, like, opposite?

Finding the young Fieri might be difficult. I stalked all of Guy Fieri's online bios and none of them give specifics on his children. I can't even nail down the exact ages. All I have is a name, and the fact that he was in undergrad about 2 years ago (I think).

I will back you up on this.

Yes. Very complicated. Flaring nostrils are very complicated.

No? I think of sonic fatigue for too much noise without a break. It's more like I get bored of dance music because there's not enough to listen to.

I have faith in your stalking abilities. How will you ever get married if you don't go for it?

You write such short responses. Where is the enthusiasm? It really takes the wind out of my sails to write you a small novel and get a drabble back. Sigh. I suppose the only reasonable reaction is for me to write shorter and shorter responses to you, so we get locked in a brevity arms race.

Oh, I never got that the problem with dance music was boredom. Makes more sense now. I am not the same way, but I get it.

I am concerned because that sounds suspiciously like actual advice that is actually given to women. Why don't they teach us stalking in Home Ec if it's such a necessary life skill?

Your head feather is gone again.

Sorry. I'm not always in a position to write a lot when I respond. I just don't like leaving the update in my inbox.

It's not boredom, precisely. That's just the best way to describe it.

Is there a problem with stalking your man until you can convince him to marry you? I see absolutely nothing wrong with that plan. Very normal and okay.

I saw it on a different screen and was satisfied with the separation between hair and background, so it was no longer necessary.

Jared seems convinced that he needs to buy me jewelry now that I bought him a tie clip. I am dismayed. Also, would it be convenient for you to pick him up on your way home for Thanksgiving? He is near Madison.

Leave it in your inbox for a few minutes! It won't mold if it sits there until you have a minute to write a proper response. Not that I mind short responses in general--it's more when all you give are short, declaratory answers, and I don't have much to respond to.

Sometimes I start thinking that stalking (and similar strategies) sound like pretty good deals. Awful people do awful things to get relationships; why can't I? Plus, it's, um, romantic. Romance fiction assures me it's romantic.
I have been reading some real stinkers recently. I made the mistake of downloading a 'collection' of free work by a bunch of different authors, and boy howdy, there is a reason they couldn't get anyone to download their stuff by itself. There's even some weird fetishes that showed up without any warning.

What is the exact reason he wants to buy you jewelry? Is it strictly because of gift value reciprocity? You could suggest other, less unwanted things that are worth the same amount as jewelry that would be better gifts. Is it because he wants you to wear something he bought? You could suggest apparel items that you like. Is it because the patriarchy has infected him with weird messages about dating? You could suggest he smash the patriarchy.
Alternatively, you could accept that his buying you jewelry would make him happy, and let it happen. It's an option. Might set a bad precedent.

I could probably acquire him on my way home? If he's willing to do some driving. I haven't planned my route yet. Yeah, I need to get on that.

Yeah. I usually remember to include a question or something interesting, but not always.

I will also assure you it is romantic. Please get stalking.
What kind of fetishes? I was reading more of the werebear x BBW and I'm still not sure she's actually a BBW, although she is definitely a little older, but now I know that the werebear has amnesia. There is also a criminal conspiracy that seems to be brainwashing all of the shapeshifters in the region. It's getting more and more like bad fanfiction.

I suggested he buy the same value in boxed sets, and then I suggested he buy me band t-shirts. He says his mother wants him to. I should tell him to tell his mother to smash the patriarchy. I really don't want to set that precedent.

Let me know if your planned route takes you past Madison so I can tell him if you will be available.

The one I'm, uh, experiencing right now features the delightful fetish of teratophilia. I'm not happy that I even know the word for that. I learned it when I took a wrong turn on tumblr. It's the fetishization of monsters being paired with humans, with the nonhuman aspects in particular being focused on--which isn't that bad, really. It's just not something that I want to encounter unexpectedly when I'm expecting a bog-standard paranormal romance. This author gave her gargoyle character a canine-ish face and seems especially fond of licking as a way to express affection. I don't like licking.

I didn't think there was any non-BBW werebear romance. The amnesia and the criminal conspiracy don't surprise me. I think the romance genre collectively decided a few years ago that shapeshifters are boring and require other gimmicks to hold reader interest. I haven't seen a novel that was just about shapeshifters being shapeshifters in a long time.

Wait, this is his mom's doing? Perhaps the conversation needs to be about why he's letting his mother dictate the terms of his romantic relationship.

I can make my route take me past Madison. He should plan on my picking him up. I'll figure out the details later.

Why are you still reading it if you don't like licking? Don't you have anything better to do? And that's a weird term for that thing. I know a teratogen causes changes in an embryo (like ethidium bromide!). It's like a carcinogen, but only your offspring get to have the fun.

It's just... so many gimmicks. I'm so confused. It's just weird paranormal garbage, but it's also romance, I guess, because every other paragraph is the MC ogling the dude's physique. "I'm so confused because I have amnesia and just discovered I am also a bear. Am I part of a criminal brainwashing ring?" "Wow, confused amnesiac werebears really turn me on. I want to spend the rest of my life licking this man-bear's abs." Like that.

It's usually his mother's doing. I take it as a win when I can dissuade him in any way. It's a process.

I will ask him if he still wants to carpool. Then maybe I will also start a three-way email conversation so I don't have to be a go-between anymore.

How is NaNo?

I don't know why I'm still reading. I guess I feel like I have to keep reading this collection since I bothered to download it, and if I stopped I would have to waste time hunting down something else to read. Trapped by my own inertia.
I assume the thriving online community picked the term for themselves. I've never seen it used by anyone who was not an, um, teratophile.

At least you're not reading the Cowboy-Christmas-Werebear story I saw once. Or, hey, if we're just discussing gimmicks in general, you could be reading the Cowboy-Viking-Time Traveler-Angel one. The only way to overcome the ennui of such a formulaic genre is by piling on the gimmicks. And the description of lust for werebear abs. Although I think it's unusual for the man in this instance to be concerned so much with the main plot, since in my experience the man is usually completely occupied with lusting over the MC and wanting to "make her his mate".
Everyone has mates now. Vampires have mates. Angels have mates. Dragons have mates. No one is allowed to just be dating or married, no, they have to be "mated".

Save your boyfriend from his mother's influence. Replace it with your influence. I think that's your job as the girlfriend.

NaNo is still going well writing-wise, but the more I write, the more I'm convinced this story was never a good plan. Besides the pacing issues we've already discussed, I've realized that my MC never gets to succeed at anything. She's trapped in an endless cycle of "See problem--Come up with solution--Get 2/3 of the way to enacting solution--Be interrupted by new problem that ruins solution and/or invalidates initial problem". I can't imagine readers wanting to follow a protagonist who can't seem to ever get out of the messes she's in.
What about you? Why did you need a bunch of new characters?

Sounds shifty. I wouldn't perpetuate it, if I were you.

Oh, don't worry. He is very interested in making her his mate. He's just also confused, because he wants that as a man-bear, and he's not comfortable with being a bear. I think maybe he was turned into a man-bear by the evil criminal organization, and he in fact began life as a man-man. There's my prediction. I'll let you know how it goes.
If they're mated, it's not creepy if it's non-optional. Oh, don't worry, it's just biology. Can't be helped. (says the person writing a Pern fic...)

I'm trying very hard. I have a lot of influence that I would like to bring to bear.

Could you... let her succeed at something? Maybe? If the plot outline isn't working for you, you're allowed to change it. Just a little bit.
It goes. I think I've paced it so far for a much longer story, so I let myself speed up and it's easier. I needed the characters because up until now I was referring to them as a nameless, faceless, amorphous blob of other people, and I suddenly needed to single a few out and talk about them like they were people my MC's knew and interacted with. For the purpose of gossip. Don't worry, they didn't get to speak or have agency.