Oh, good. I need food.

I don't remember what this is about, but I will defend my sub-plots to the death. I love kudzu. What's wrong with a non-romantic sub-plot, anyway?

Condylarth sounds like a fake thing. Are you making up things for science?

Um. Yes. Very hard.
As in I am playing tuba for fun and then going to the grocery store. But I assure you it is brewing even as we speak. Double yolk.

Shh. Be at peace. No one is attacking your subplots. You had asked me on the camp NaNo site whether I had ever intentionally padded a story using subplots, and the answer, for me, is no. We are not the same person and I do not judge you for your intentional subplots. You write far more concisely than I do, so kudzu growth is less likely to ruin your work the way it does mine.

Condylarth is, actually, a fake thing. It's a wastebasket taxon for stem ungulates. I'm using it as a handy way to group together a set of lineages that were ecologically similar during the Paleocene. Don't tell the systematists, okay? I don't want to get beat up.

You can edit your work at the grocery store. I hope that you do, in fact, because the deadline stands, and if your work isn't ready for human consumption by then, tough beans.
Speaking of grocery stores, I bought some imitation crab yesterday. I don't know what possessed me. It was on sale?

I don't think that's true. I use many words. How are you less concise than me?

Oh. A common name. How quaint. I will be sure to tell everyone at SSB.

Tough beans for you. Then you'll never get to see the rest of the MCP.
Do you even like imitation crab? Did it come with a built in marinara packet? If not, your actions are inexcusable.

Did you make a vet appointment for Coral yet?

You use many words, but you somehow also manage to power through plot points at a rate that I... do not. I tend to follow my characters creepishly through every instant of every day, wallowing in their internal monologue. You know the power of the scene break. You have embraced the scene break.

Yeah, RIP to the defunct order Condylarthra. I miss the wild west days when anything could be an order if you believed hard enough. In paleontology, those days were literally in the Wild West. I wish that I could be an old-timey paleontologist getting into petty feuds and planting fake specimens in my rival's dig sites.

Noooooo give me your tough beans. I will digest them. I think that everything you write is gold, so I won't even know if you've edited or not.
I do like imitation crab in some contexts. Like the cheesy crab thing at Hong Kong Buffet. The "crab" did not come with its own marinara packet, so my purchase may have been inexcusable.

Yeah, just made the appointment. I'm concerned because the vet clinic seems kind of woo-woo new-agey, but they do seem to really love cats. I'll do my best to avoid the acupuncture service.

Oh. Well, sure. It just gets awkward when nothing is happening, so I stop. I can feel it wallowing and it makes me uncomfortable.
It's like scenes in Fate. You finish what you were supposed to do, so you are done. We should play Fate.

You still can. You just need to make sure they don't have security cameras set up, or find a way to fool them.

I think you would actually know. The scent of poo will eventually make its way through the gold coating.
Disgusting. Outrageous. Have you found an alternate source of marinara yet?

I think they aren't allowed to use their acupuncture 1) without your consent, and 2) on humans, so you should be fine. Just make sure they use real vaccines and not good feelings.

I'm all about the wallow. No scene breaks; we die like men. Characters mull over the same issues 50 different times without resolving them. Don't even scene break when people fall asleep--detail their exact sleeping experience.
You want to run a game of Fate? Do it. I will SkRPG with you.

It's difficult to sneak into other people's dig sites these days. Remote locations make it easy to notice cars coming and going. It might be pretty easy to sneak fake specimens into their unsorted bone bags, though that risks no one noticing it's there for 50 years.

I would take your delicious golden poo at this point. I need to know whether Hulth manages to successfully Get Swole.
I need no marinara. I am going to make the cheesy crab thing. It will be tasty and no one can stop me.

The vet clinic had all of my information in front of them, and they still managed to send their confirmation email to "Aneesa and Cora". Who are these people?

Have you considered not doing that? Let them mull something a single time and then chopping it off? And maybe changing scenes to sleeping, because you probably don't follow them in to the bathroom. I hope.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were committed to this rivalry. I see now that it was just a joke to you. I'm sure parking a mile away and walking in to plant your fake specimen would be much too difficult.

Spoiler: She leaves Pern and joins a gym around Alpha Centauri. The end.
Ew. Please stop. No.

They apparently thought that your name was not unique enough. This is your official new age-y hipster name. You will need to use it whenever you order fancy coffee, which will now need to be every day. "Aneesa and Cora" will also be the name of your vlog and your Etsy shop. Have fun.

Yooooooooo it's Monday the con ended yesterday Coral just had her vet appointment and I'm tired.

Everything I write is necessary. Every single word. If I remove even a single word, the character arc would fall apart, the plot would fill with holes, and readers would lose all sense of space and time. And there would be a plague of locusts o'er the land.
I do indeed follow characters to the bathroom, sometimes. At least I did during the extended plague sequence, because I had to address that they weren't peeing themselves. It was SO IMPORTANT.
I am amazed when I read your writing and people are allowed to speak to one another without constantly thinking about what they're saying, or nodding, or shrugging, or walking a few paces and turning to face each other. How do you write this devil magic?

When was the last time I walked a mile, for anything? A long time ago. My legs are jelly. After the convention, my feet are also blistered. I do not ambulate under my own power any more, even to sabotage others.

I would be happy for Hulth as long as she achieves her dream of being Very Big. It's all I want. I guess I care about the shipping, too, but seriously, I am more concerned about Hulth than any of the humans.

What you do at con??? Coral good?

You spend time writing about how there is not an active plague of locusts o'er the land? Sounds stressful.
I am concerned and alarmed. Please stop writing about pee. There is a reason nobody ever writes about bathrooms. Please stop.
I care deeply about point of view and conversational rhythm? I can never get comfortable using dialogue tags, so I try to avoid any mixture of dialogue and action? It's one or more of those reasons.
I strongly suspect that if you sat down and performed a strict edit of the entire manuscript, you would cut down on a lot of this nonsense. Most of what you're talking about is silly first draft nonsense that everybody has to remove. Everybody.
Except me, of course.

Why did you walk a mile to go to the convention? Didn't it damage your costume?

Is like a very large, opinionated dog, yes. Must care about the dog.

At con I go to panels, meet people, eat food. Very much like Minicon, except it was held at a huge convention center where there was also a Junior Danceline competition being held. The dancers in their fancy little getups stared at the nerds in our nerdwear, and we stared right back.
Coral is good. Do you know she's 7?!? The vet was like, "Yeah, she's approaching old age" and I was all, "NO?!? False?" And they recommended I start brushing her teeth, so that's going to be fun.

Everything about my writing is stressful. Do you know how hard it is to write tastefully about peeing in a bathtub drain?
I feel like my dialog is so awkward without tags. If I don't indicate that the character "said with a smirk", how will the reader know to read the line smirkily??? Whereas with your writing I can always hear the smirk. The smirk is implied.
Everybody who edits, you mean. I don't... do that.

I did not walk a mile to get to the convention. You said I would have to walk a mile to sabotage my rivals. I refuse to do that because I am unfit.

That seems rude. She's smarter than a dog. And more buff.