No smoking! Put that out at once! You can smoke when I'm dead and gone and can't stop you.... [insert a several-hour lecture on various forms of tobacco, the benefits of rolling your own over store-bought if you MUST smoke, a comparison of hookahs vs cigarettes, the effect of smoke on lungs and the story of Uncle Steve who was a firefighter and had lung cancer, a rant about media glamorization of smoking, long-term social effects of smoking or not, alternative methods of bonding with peers, the psychology behind habits and addictions and signs of addictive behavior, and a homework assignment of an essay on the history of tobacco use from first nation to age-of-sail european to modern]

Make sure to not forget to light out the candles like last time...

Oh, great you used body paint again... You realize I have to do your laundry, right?

Sweetie, please tell me that flower does NOT come from my prize flower beds...

"We've reached your Goth Phase already? You are growing up far too quickly!"

Don't hurt yourself with your trident dear.

Aww, look at my little princess all grown up! She's becomes such a sophisticated woman!

"Oh you are so lucky I didn't catch you wearing that while you were still living at home. Hmph. Moving on, who is hosting the reunion this year, now that you've a place of your own?"

"Oh, who are you dressed up as for Halloween? Our Sea Queen? You look exactly like her!"