I wasn't worried about crashing but then I watched a bunch of mental health videos on youtube about bipolar and now I'm scared I'll crash xD Especially there's something going on with me. I can't tell if it's some brain fog or delusions, hallucinations, depersonalization or whatever. I feel like I'm not fully in my body. It's weird, been like that for a few days now.

I'm not sure if that medicine is available in the US, probably under a different name. It's called Lamitrin here, the substance is lamotrigine. It's also used for epilepsy, apparently. For bipolar I think it's a mood stabilizer, that's what I understood from what my doc said.

It's funny how one substance can be used for treating two completely different conditions

Moi, it wasn't completely like that for me (for now I think it mostly passed by now), it was more like I was conscious about my actions and surroundings, but not quite fully conscious either. Kind of like my body was working on autopilot and I was not fully in control but also I didn't mind it that much. I mean, it was freaky a little bit, but not like that time I completely blacked out (or more like whitened out, idk, anywho, my physical vision was white and in the mind I saw myself from above, lol) while unleashing my inexplicable rage on my brother-in-law in January 2020 XD So, you know, just blurting things out to myself or bouncing all over the apartment didn't bother me as much, especially Ash went away to some shithole to visit his sister and stepdad, so I was home alone and could nut out without restraints XD Sure, I was for a moment convinced
(or more like confused and knew I was wrong but still clinging to hope, lol) I was pregnant despite my uterus bleeding but that's because my pendulum kept sending me mixed signals XD

Oh yeah, I bought a pendulum #lifeupdate haha I'm noticing that I'm an impulsive spender. Halp.

jacobgrey wrote:I think I get that sometimes Mem. Like, it feels like I'm watching a movie or I'm an actor in a movie rather than this being real life. Or playing a video game, I guess. Or being in a dream. Where things just happen to and around you and you're not really in control.

Exactly that!

Feeling like things are unreal is called derealization, I think. I'm not sure I've ever had that. But I often question the reality on the philosophical level More often I question my thinking and opinions being biased because I'm so constricted by my human mind and I essentially know nothing, even about myself.
Nope, don't go there, mem, you gon' get lost in that thought, it's a rabbit hole