I had to put Dash down today.

Yeah. She just wasn't doing that great from not taking meds for a few days (I tried my best, she just kept refusing, and then she started losing appetite, like she was eating so much smaller amounts of foods that she liked, plus she was skin and bones aside from that tumor...). So I took her to the vet yesterday, to a different doctor, since our usual was not available until Tuesday I believe, and that's a lot of time of suffering for a rattie). He said if things are this bad then there's really no other choice, that her bowels could just explode from all the poopies stuck in there, or her bladder might burst... And if that didn't happen, she'd probably stop eating in a matter of days and she'd starve. So I chose to just put her down. Didn't want her to live a few days longer but in agony.
When the vet told me we'll have to put her down I told him I came prepared for that.
I was with her till the very end. The doc was very kind, he told me what he'll be doing, what will be happening every step of the way, he let me say my goodbyes and even asked if I wanted to see her after everything's done. So I finally had a decent farewell with my fur baby. It felt like I was saying goodbye to all of my previous ratties as well, since I couldn't really do that when they were passing away. So it feels like a proper closure to be honest.
I'm still crying here and there but you know, it'll stop with time. I'll just grieve for a while. I do have to observe how Dot will be doing, if she'll get depressed or anything. I should also do some check-up with her health-wise. She's a chubby little stinker, I wouldn't want her to get a sudden heart attack or something. Or diabetes or whatever. I don't know what I'll do if she will be depressed though, that's the hardest. I'll probably have to find her another home because for now I need a break from rats or rodents in general. We'll see, I hope she'll be coping well. So far she's normal, but it's just one day.

Oh, they definitely do get sad and suffer when they lose someone. My Cotton got terribly depressed after we lost Candy to that accident by my hand and that's why we got Dot and Dash, because we couldn't find her a new home fast enough and she was totally miserable.
When I was a kid, our dog Saba died really quickly from cancer that developed super rapidly. I think she was supposed to start her treatment the next day and she didn't make it. Anywas, our cat (or my sister's cat) Marcel lived with Saba all his life and he was also visibly suffering from her loss, he was definitely lonely and sad, we could tell from his behavior. I think he also began to scratch himself to blood soon after Saba's death and it was surely concerning.
Besides there's so many stories of animals, even wild ones, that visit people who saved them, or dogs/cats staying at their owner's grave. I think I once saw an article about a horse that didn't want to leave its owner's grave. Incredible.
There's a reason that dogs are called human's best friend, it's because they build the bond. It's just like human kids, they just don't speak human
But have you seen Bunnythe talking dog? She blows my mind

Whenever I hear someone say animals don't have souls I don't know whether I should laugh or punch that person in the face
I even prayed to angels who look after animals to carry Dash's little soul safely to rat heaven. Or animal heaven. I actually think it would be the same plane as human souls but whatever, just don't let her get stuck in-between world, 'kay?

I know right? Animals actually love unconditionally (well, maybe not cats, they're the overlords who demand food and service, jk lol), but people like to condition their love. It's disturbing. Like humanity itself is toxic by nature. I don't want to believe it, but sometimes I have my doubts...

Aww, poor baby

Moi wrote:I have reasons to not like people, but I find myself still caring about them.
So much so that I put my own self at risk.

I felt that on a personal level...