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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Jan 17th, '24, 14:39    


chuunibyou

Joined: Feb 6th, '15, 19:16
Posts: 6005
Hugs: 101592
Mood: spiritual
Location: a remote internet isle
Thank you Zia, your words comforted me immensely :qh:

She isn't going to give me what was promised to me: my dreams come true, doing what I love for work, a secure future. Since she's going to continue denying it to me, despite once offering it to me, I'll have to let it go. It's what I have been trying to do for over a year, and it was the loss of this that triggered my depression in the first place.

When I was trying to search for a dream to replace the one I lost, and work that would bring me as much joy as that would have, I didn't... find anything. Job-searching is a hellhole and it felt like what she offered me, and then denied, was the only good thing that would ever come my way.

But I can't keep living like that anymore. I have to find an alternate path to happiness. I haven't found it yet but I need to have faith that I won't be lost forever. Depression makes it difficult to do so, but your virtual hugs give me a little more courage to keep going :mchappy:

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Stroctoperry wrote:Because KofK trumps homework, for some reason.
Death Candy wrote:I just realized that "take out" means food, dating, and murder. And if you were a female praying mantis you'd have all three.
Akili Li wrote:People talk about bravery in these super dramatic terms like it only applies to soldiers going to war, but for all that I think true courage is found in the hard every day moments of social interaction and standing up for what you believe in even when it's not life-or-death, when it's instead a matter of approval-or-ostracization among people whose opinions you care about. That's harder, to my mind. That's an ongoing, you have to live with it forever thing, instead of one single moment that's the exception instead of the rule.

First fairy found 28th May 2015
Second fairy found 11th May 2017
Third fairy found 9th Jan 2024


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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Jan 23rd, '24, 00:23    


memoriam

Joined: Feb 14th, '11, 01:50
Posts: 19066
Hugs: 217297
Mood: Mood.
Location: Poland; in my bubble.
I procrastinated too much with the work I supposedly like and now I'm suffering the consequences. I need to get a grip on myself and be more responsible. I'm proud that at least I'm not making excuses for my actions. I try to own my mistakes and keep a note to self that the procrastination wasn't worth it :mcheh:
I'll be better next time. That's a promise to myself.

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Dec 21st/22nd 2016, R.I.P. Tila. We'll miss you, you cuddly little stinker <3
Dec 7th 2019, R.I.P. Candy. I'm sorry, my sweet little rumball...
Jan 8th 2020, R.I.P. Cotton. Farewell my golden adventurer </3
May 15th 2021, R.I.P. Kreska. I love you, angel...
Feb 3rd 2022, R.I.P. Kropka. Goodbye, my *starshine*
Nov 27th 2022, R.I.P. Strzałka. You will be missed, lazy ball.
Jan 5th 2023, R.I.P. Iskra. Spark until the end.
Jan 26th 2024, R.I.P. Mocha. You can fool around now, baby <3
Feb 22nd 2024, R.I.P. Latte. Now you are truly a free spirit...


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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Feb 6th, '24, 20:09    


Snipehunt

Joined: Sep 26th, '21, 05:50
Posts: 10
Hugs: 45
Reached the point in my mental health where I've lost the energy to write, either on my own or even low effort roleplay. The later especially was my biggest form of stress relief, an easy way to spend time with friends in a way that made me feel 'useful', but now I'm plagued with thoughts to isolate and struggle to explain things without speaking in ways that hurt myself and others. I'm tired, I want to go back to last year when I had confidence again, because now I'm scared to talk to any of my loved ones after lashing out one too many times.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Feb 7th, '24, 18:59    


AutobotDen

Joined: Apr 28th, '12, 07:41
Posts: 1692
Hugs: 18558
Mood: Wear a mask, Save Lives!
TW: Medical, narrowly-avoided death
Spoiler
So, Dad had debridement done on his feet on Thursday. Friday he started complaining that his ankle hurt and he couldn't even stand without assistance. The weekend was miserable. Monday morning, home health care stopped by, and his INH number was high, so we had to go to the hospital. His surgeon was there, and saw him, and it turns out the tissue that he (the surgeon) thought was healthy on Thursday was all necrotized and black.

Dad got transferred to the ER to be transferred to the med center in the nearest city, and surgery that night. If we'd had waited 'til the next day, He would've died. His foot was amputated above the ankle then, and revision surgery is tomorrow, the 8th. He's going to be transferred to a skilled care facility after he recovers a bit.

ETA: So, the 8th didn't happen. it got postponed to this past Sunday, because there were concerns over Dad's condition. Revision surgery happened, and it turns out Dad's heart has 15-20% function, so they're going to do a procedure to shock his heart to try and increase the function. The sibling flew in on Monday, and will be leaving this coming Sunday. He's been up to see dad daily.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Apr 7th, '24, 18:32    


Bear Witch

Joined: Jan 31st, '13, 03:27
Posts: 8376
Hugs: 46630
Mood: Crushing ♡
Location: The South
I have no idea what I should do and it's driving me crazy. :qsweat:

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I can't help it man, I'm all about stupid!


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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Apr 12th, '24, 07:08    


AutobotDen

Joined: Apr 28th, '12, 07:41
Posts: 1692
Hugs: 18558
Mood: Wear a mask, Save Lives!
TW: Medical, Palliative Care
Spoiler
Dad had to be taken up to Omaha. He was in the ER earlier because he had a blood clot in his stump. They operated and removed it, but we're going to have to look into palliative care for him, because once he's healthy enough to, the doctor's going to amputate his right leg above the knee, and Mom and I are both convinced he won't be coming home at all anymore.

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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Apr 28th, '24, 11:21    


Bear Witch

Joined: Jan 31st, '13, 03:27
Posts: 8376
Hugs: 46630
Mood: Crushing ♡
Location: The South
Well, I know what to do now but I don't want to do it. :qf:

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I can't help it man, I'm all about stupid!


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 Post subject: Re: Do you need to vent?
Posted: Apr 28th, '24, 15:12    


PastelWitch

Joined: Oct 1st, '16, 18:42
Posts: 1185
Hugs: 38541
Mood: Obsessed
Location: Between Realms
The cost of living is making me depressed

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