Thank you Zia, your words comforted me immensely
She isn't going to give me what was promised to me: my dreams come true, doing what I love for work, a secure future. Since she's going to continue denying it to me, despite once offering it to me, I'll have to let it go. It's what I have been trying to do for over a year, and it was the loss of this that triggered my depression in the first place.
When I was trying to search for a dream to replace the one I lost, and work that would bring me as much joy as that would have, I didn't... find anything. Job-searching is a hellhole and it felt like what she offered me, and then denied, was the only good thing that would ever come my way.
But I can't keep living like that anymore. I have to find an alternate path to happiness. I haven't found it yet but I need to have faith that I won't be lost forever. Depression makes it difficult to do so, but your virtual hugs give me a little more courage to keep going
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