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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 16th, '13, 03:13
by saiyouri
I spent way too much money on stupid stuff again because I was and am so depressed. I know it doesn't help me any and I am really sorry. But I am trying my best to stop it.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 16th, '13, 08:31
by Moi
I know I'm not doing what the instructions say, but the feeling it gives me is the best I've ever felt.
I still need it dearly because I genuinely do have an issue.
I just want to feel good for a little and then do what I need after.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 17th, '13, 15:50
by Celestial Wolf
What if I'm just imagining everything wrong with me? I can't trust myself, can't trust my body. My shortness of breath, everyone comments on that. I can't run, can't climb stairs. How can that not be real? I'm so upset because everyone just tells me to exercise more and stop thinking so much. Fuck it. I have been like this since 4 or 5 and I've done my share of romping around. NOTHING gets better. It just gets up and down and all over the damn place. I wish life were more simple and my body would just show what's wrong.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 21st, '13, 02:04
by saiyouri
I think you being gone is starting to affect me again....
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 23rd, '13, 16:21
by Mintyz
Oh for goodness sake my life does NOT revolve around you. I have other people I want to hang out with DEAL WITH IT.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 23rd, '13, 17:37
by saiyouri
Seriously mess with me? Why do I always have to be treated like I am garbage beneath your feet? Don't think I deserve better?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 24th, '13, 09:05
by mercu
i'm overwhelmed.
i feel like i need a break.
but wouldn't that be running from an issue again?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 24th, '13, 20:17
by moonlight_sonata
I hate when my eyes turn red everytime I cry. And I really hate getting headache right after. I hate all the horrible memories that always remind me of a shitty piece of shit I'm. I hate being the person that I am. I'm so lonely and cold inside sometimes. I hate not being able to show emotion fast when the moment is present. I can't stand way I look and talk and my speech problems that I'm remind daily. I hate that I'm being in this fat skin of a body I have. I hate every day a new hidradenitis suppurativa decided to come out and pop cause it hurt me a lot. I hate not being able to wear right cause of the blood and pus spot be show. I can't wear spaghetti top or to short sleeve shirt I don't want the old scar of HS to be show and I dont people looking at me like a freak. I dont always have surgery cause of the right ear decided to get a tumor. I want to be able to hear perfect and not to deaf person. I'm scared I get a tumor in my left ear to. I dont want people to hate me cause I dont want to listen to their problems or seem so cold. I just want to pretend my life for a couple of sec is fine that I'm not a fat retard with heath problems. I wanted a normal life to, I wanted someone to marry and grow old with and live happily together. But nothing like that is going to happen to me. My life NEVER going to be sunshine and rainbows freaking unicorns. I hate EVERYONE that is perfect and pretty skin no health problems. Only problem they got to deal with getting a std or cheated on. I dont want to die lonely. I'm scared of dying sometimes and other times I want to die. I'm a crowd that isn't able to end my life cause I dont want to disappoint or cause anyone problems or waste of money.
I wish my mom didn't have me so I wouldn't be feeling so shitty.
I'm useless piece of shit.
I'm only good for pissing off someone or upsetting them.
Now my head hurts for vent.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 25th, '13, 00:16
by mercu
no
no
no
why did i post that
i need to calm down
someone help me calm down
how can i undo it
is deleting my post enough
how many people saw that
why did i post that
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 25th, '13, 00:25
by saiyouri
I hate to say this but I can't handle stress anymore. By the end of the year, I won't have any stress anymore....