Kingdom of Knuffel

Sounds like a great job Mynah, congratulations!!

Still kind of depends on situations here whether you get disability pay or even taken seriously here (I live in the same country). I have dysthymia among other things and I'm basically told to just suck it up
Last time I tried to signal that I couldn't go on like this my company doctor told my bosses that I just didn't feel like working and I was making a scene so I could just stay home. When I told my boss that that was bullshit he literally told me I couldn't be the judge of that as I was not mentally sound. If I didn't get back to my own job, they would have to get me a new one - namely receptionist or callcenter worker. One of the causes of my dysthymia is that I am constantly bored out of my skull, I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing with my life and my surroundings are constantly underestimating me because of the way I look, so I'm getting very little chance to make something of myself. So yes, being a receptionist would be a perfect fit. For my coffin.

So in short: there is nothing wrong with me and I am just pretending, but I am not mentally sound enough to tell what is good for me and what isn't, the cure to depression caused by a feeling of uselessness is a mundane job, just sit there and be pretty. 5 driving licenses but no, I should consider not working in traffic but doing a classic girl's job. Cause obviously women who look like me can't drive, can't think, can't be useful, only have to file their nails. Now that's how one fixes depression

And indeed, the migraine is not considered anything of importance. Doctors call it 'just a headache' because I do not get typical aura's. So driving a full bus with a metal rod poking through your brain, no sense of up or down and literally everything feeling agitating is perfectly fine because you don't vomit, so no one can tell. But don't you dare snap at people because they are nagging while your skull is bursting open. Anxiety attacks show as frustration and verbal aggression so basically I'm the asshole. Although frustration and general aggression are actual textbook signs of depression and other mental illness, no one wants to look beyond it because everyone takes it personal, even when I try to explain that that is exactly what I need help for.

So I don't know how others do it, but I never got anyone to give a shit about my mental state around here.

Wow Merry. What a shitty boss.

I really can't say what caused me to get what I have to date, but I have no doubt my mother being my biggest advocate and support in navigating the hell hole that is called Mental Health Care is a very very big part of it.

And yes, getting bored is the worse.

If you want them, I will send you virtual hugs. :}

It's not exactly getting bored that's the problem. It's a perpetual feeling of an empty life, an empty existance. It's not being able to find a job or even activity or state of being that's enough of a challenge that it keeps my attention for more than 2 months. It's just... this entire place, this entire life, it is the very definition of boring and mundane. I can't possibly have been put on this earth just to wait for death. So far I've wasted almost 31 years of my life without having done anything truly noteworthy, just sitting around, waiting, watching for a hint of something exciting. Literally everything I do is unsatisfactory. I need something to fight for, something that can finally give me some sense of self worth. So naturally what I'm told would fix everything is a job as a receptionist
This world is too ironic for its own good and somehow I'm the only one to see it.

Yeah, it helps having someone, just anyone on your side. But no matter how many times I ask her, the cat just won't stand up for me. Guess I'm on my own after all

Dream-Baby wrote: And Oh my heavens You have my bloody dream job!!!

I love writing. :}

It's fun because every day is different, but it's also not as great as expected because I have to write according to other people's specifications, and they're all bent on making stories exciting with loud music and visuals because they don't want to bore children. But children are sensitive to stimulation and the whole reason I loved reading as a child is because of how quietly exciting it is. I'd probably enjoy writing a physical book for children more, rather than the multimedia stuff I'm doing.

@Merrymaking I CAN'T STAND HOW SEXIST YOUR WORKPLACE IS. The audacity of them to think they know what you're experiencing better than you know it yourself, the audacity of them to think that THEY can explain to you what YOU are living! I'm raging. Women's health issues are so often brushed aside and it makes me livid.

Awww, I get that, you have to shush your creativity just to give the customer what they want, even though that means ruining your work. One of the reasons I hated graphic design. That's really sad, I'm sure you'd do so much better if you could just do what feels right to you. Can't you write your own book on the side? Do their silly multimedia stuff the way they want, and then do what your heart tells you whenever you get the chance. Would show them right if you could get it published. You could see this job as a first step on the ladder, right?

Yep. I work in a place that's 'traditionally' a male workplace, so some stuff is kinda new to them. They try to be multicultural, LGBTQ+ friendly and genderneutral, they really do, it's overall a pretty modern company. But it's still obviously run by men, as seen by the amount of toilets
Although I have to deal with a lot of sexist comments and assumptions, most of them aren't really intentional so I try to ignore it, but I can't always. Not all by colleagues either, a lot of it comes from customers. It basically ranges from "Oh look now Betty, doesn't that look sweet, those tiny hands on that big steering wheel?" and "A woman? Now there's something you don't see every day" (and then get all pissy when your answer is "Really, sir? It's about 50% of the population, you might wanna take a look around") from customers to "Oh you have to reverse for that, let me get that for you, doll" from colleagues, (who then look baffled when you suggest that they let you do it yourself, but they can stand and give directions from right behind the bus, if they like). Yeah, The Netherlands is supposed to be such a tolerant country, but we still have a lot to learn when it comes to women with traditionally male jobs
Doesn't help that I look like a teenager either. A bit back a woman got in and exclaimed "Oh dear, you can't have been doing this job for long, you're so young!". She didn't look convinced when I told her I have been doing this for over 5 years. Whereas, naturally, when I told a male passenger the same last week, he went "That long? In that case you may even drive better than a man!". Oh, the books I could write about the idiotic things people say. I mean, what, a woman is by definition a worse driver than a man unless she had 5 years experience on large vehicles just to prove herself worthy? Get out.

But back to the me not knowing what I'm experiencing: I never really thought that was a sexist thing, just them suggesting that I should do a hostess-like job instead of driving large vehicles. But now that you mention it, a male colleague is going through the same right now and he can take all the time he needs. I thought it was a personal issue that they didn't take me, and me specifically, seriously, because that's been happening all my life. Makes me wonder now. Although part of me doesn't really believe that they would intentionally treat women different in this matter. They're primates, but they really are putting an effort into equality. So it wouldn't be on purpose. And they never asked me if I was on my period either

Merrymaking wrote:And they never asked me if I was on my period either

groans The bar is so low!

Do they think we have some genotype that goes "No! Driving difficult!" or what? There's no basis for their prejudices at all.

It's good that they're trying but they need to be open to learning to be better at it! Right now they kind of suck at it.

I do write my own stuff on the side and it sort of prepares me for writing what I have to for work. Like I'd be more depressed about the stuff I have to hand in at work if I didn't write things exactly according to my own vision on my own time. I'll absolutely look at this as a first step, and fingers crossed I'll publish my own work soon!

Managed to get one full set during the event. But only with help from a special item. :}

ahhh it's a cute one, the event pet

They is, so I'm happy with it. :}

hello! candy caravan is here and i want the heterochromia eyes so i'm running around from thread to thread posting

how have you been?