Kingdom of Knuffel

Ooh. If anyone wants to read the first few chaps of my book, I'd be much obliged.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2792041/1/Husky_Bitch

it's unproofed word document that's why. xD i'm also comma heavy. >_>

@Tilla: Well, there are a few punctuation issues and sentence fragments, but nothing a good beta couldn't fix. It would be good if you started a new paragraph every time someone spoke; would be less confusing as to who's talking that way.

I don't think "(To the best of my knowledge. I'm not really sure how I got here in the first place. or what i am.)" is necessary; since the story is told from the character's perspective, it's pretty much a given that it's to their knowledge.

I'm not familiar with the setting and character of the story (having only read a portion of it), so I can't really say much else. So far so good? :D?


@Aeri: My sense of humor is based on Murphy's law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. XD

Aha, cute.


@Kori: Kinda multitasking now, but I'll take a look at the first chapter...er...when I can. I'm about to write my RP post...ish, and damn, I am so excited.

Whenever I see my RP partner, I get excited. It's like an instant high. *headfloor*

It's supposed to for the most part, confuse you. i want you to feel like you're walking in the characters paths, and shoes and experiances.. she's talking to her self for the first part. anything in ()'s is her observing the fact, ect. she's lost and wondering around a baren place with nothing in it - there are so many symbolic places and parts in my story. @_@

..I'm verry point driven, and it's ruining the impact of my writing. >_>

Do you mean.. the one's that are already in the shop, or ones to come?

She won't increase the ones already in the shop, but if there's a consistency in the speed of which the Knuffels were being sold out in, then she might raise the number of the knuffels in the shops, I think. She won't do it if it happens occasionally, though; not from what I know of her.