Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 10th, '14, 21:47
Saying "I'm sorry" just isn't enough this time.
Saying "I'm sorry" just isn't enough this time.
Kingdom of Knuffel
-= A place for all Knuffel lovers =-
https://kingdomofknuffel.com/
Dirty Little Secrets...
Page 141 of 250
Saying "I'm sorry" just isn't enough this time.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 11th, '14, 02:27
Why do I keep doing this to myself...?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 11th, '14, 22:30
Sometimes I hold my own hand so I don't feel so alone.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 11th, '14, 23:10
I feel like my mind is stuck in an endless loop.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 12th, '14, 08:31
You are so disorganized it's just ridiculous.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 12th, '14, 17:19
I don't get it. I'm doing so well right now, way better than even a month ago. Got a call today with more hours to work on the weekend and they even promised me more hours in July. I'm all glad cause even if it's a temp job it's still work. I'm still turning in job applications regularly and I'm waiting on a beautiful custom dress that I saved up for for months. I'm all happy for these things!
And yet then the stupid thoughts wallop away the happy thoughts and I start to feel so stupid and I'm so darn dissappointed in myself. All day everyday its nothing but high-lows with way more lows than high. I want to just go to bed right after dinner but I've done nothing but crying myself to sleep all week.
I'm getting addicted to online shopping to cover up my anxiety and sadness. I want a fucking job already. I feel like I should have one by now and that's a stupid thought because I know I'm working hard to get one and all my evaluations on my efforts are positive and everyone says it's not my fault I'm not employed yet but yeah you know it really kinda is, innit >> and it's really easy to say I'm such a nice serious girl and that you really wish the best for me and that I'm sure to get a nice job soon cause who wouldn't want to hire me etc when you're sitting there behind your desk, at your job >>
Jezus I want to kick myself for making myself so depressed! an and then I just want to kick myself even more for making like an attempt to not be so sad anymore, trying to think of the dress coming my way and the bit of work I'm getting and it helps it's dragging me out of it a bit but then my mind keeps finding just another reason to fall again. FUCK Okay life could you just make it all stop for a minute? Please let me go to bed and I don't know make time stop and everything freeze when I wake up so I can continue to stay in bed for the next week/month :x
And maybe lose weight by not eating cause I'm fat. As if being so messed up right now isn't enough jeuj :'D
And yet then the stupid thoughts wallop away the happy thoughts and I start to feel so stupid and I'm so darn dissappointed in myself. All day everyday its nothing but high-lows with way more lows than high. I want to just go to bed right after dinner but I've done nothing but crying myself to sleep all week.
I'm getting addicted to online shopping to cover up my anxiety and sadness. I want a fucking job already. I feel like I should have one by now and that's a stupid thought because I know I'm working hard to get one and all my evaluations on my efforts are positive and everyone says it's not my fault I'm not employed yet but yeah you know it really kinda is, innit >> and it's really easy to say I'm such a nice serious girl and that you really wish the best for me and that I'm sure to get a nice job soon cause who wouldn't want to hire me etc when you're sitting there behind your desk, at your job >>
Jezus I want to kick myself for making myself so depressed! an and then I just want to kick myself even more for making like an attempt to not be so sad anymore, trying to think of the dress coming my way and the bit of work I'm getting and it helps it's dragging me out of it a bit but then my mind keeps finding just another reason to fall again. FUCK Okay life could you just make it all stop for a minute? Please let me go to bed and I don't know make time stop and everything freeze when I wake up so I can continue to stay in bed for the next week/month :x
And maybe lose weight by not eating cause I'm fat. As if being so messed up right now isn't enough jeuj :'D
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 14th, '14, 00:37
How could you?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 16th, '14, 01:46
I don't want to eat anymore.
I ate something earlier and I feel guilty.
I shouldn't eat anything at all.
For however long it takes for something to clear up or you know.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 18th, '14, 04:51
Seeing your face just drives me into seething rage. I'd like to put my fist through your smile. You really have a lot of guts. You expected me to be nice to you when you treated me like some sort of animal or child who can't be reasoned with?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jun 19th, '14, 03:41
I'm a nervous wreck about my new job. 
Starting my first job in a week. At a Deli and I've been told it's a horribly tasking job and they don't understand why they gave it to someone with no experience at all. So, I've been sitting here over thinking things, throwing myself into a panic attack about it.
The dress code mainly at the moment. A friend who works there told me "black" pants, but the hiring manager said tan. friend said they'd give me the pants and other uniform parts, but the manager told me only the "shirt, cap and apron" were provided, so I don't know what to do.
I don't want to call her about something she TOLD me already. The ones I bought are also kind've baggy around the legs, but not the waist - I wear an awkward size where nothing fits me correctly. But, my friend said they'd give me the pants, but the manager said they didn't. Will I get in trouble for having baggy clothes???
I have Orientation in a week after the drug test results come back. I'll learn what I need to do, get the uniform there, so I'll find out. But, I also start work their the very next day. So if she didn't give me the pants, and they are in fact black, I won't have time to go and get them. We barely had the money to get the ones we did get, and what if I DO need tan after I return them??? I don't have enough money to get another pair.
Will they let me wear whatever jeans until I can afford to get a pair? Do they actually provide the pants?
I hate not knowing anything, and I feel like no one is giving me a straight answer.
Starting my first job in a week. At a Deli and I've been told it's a horribly tasking job and they don't understand why they gave it to someone with no experience at all. So, I've been sitting here over thinking things, throwing myself into a panic attack about it.
The dress code mainly at the moment. A friend who works there told me "black" pants, but the hiring manager said tan. friend said they'd give me the pants and other uniform parts, but the manager told me only the "shirt, cap and apron" were provided, so I don't know what to do.
I don't want to call her about something she TOLD me already. The ones I bought are also kind've baggy around the legs, but not the waist - I wear an awkward size where nothing fits me correctly. But, my friend said they'd give me the pants, but the manager said they didn't. Will I get in trouble for having baggy clothes???
I have Orientation in a week after the drug test results come back. I'll learn what I need to do, get the uniform there, so I'll find out. But, I also start work their the very next day. So if she didn't give me the pants, and they are in fact black, I won't have time to go and get them. We barely had the money to get the ones we did get, and what if I DO need tan after I return them??? I don't have enough money to get another pair.
Will they let me wear whatever jeans until I can afford to get a pair? Do they actually provide the pants?
I hate not knowing anything, and I feel like no one is giving me a straight answer.