Kingdom of Knuffel

Sometimes she annoys the hell out of me, even though I should be glad she's alive.

and sometimes everything around crushes on me and I feel so useless because I can't handle it and just run away...

This sounds ridiculous but I need someone to honestly rate my real life appearance. I just...need validation that I'm cute/pretty or at least that I look likeable. It sucks knowing this is the kind of person I've become.

Why can't you be encouraging for once? I get a solo in vocal jazz and you criticize the way I sing. I decide to go get a certificate to make myself more hirable and tell me that it'd be a waste of money and time. I get a full time job and want to move closer to my job and you tell me to downsize my hours and go back to part-time, instead. Why can't you handle the fact that I'm an adult now?

Oh, and don't think I didn't notice you trying to bash my head into the dashboard by slamming on the breaks while I was cleaning up the floor. I'm not as dumb as you think I am.

I'm terrified of graduating because I don't think I'll ever be ready to be an adult, not to mention a spouse or whatever. I don't cook, can't stand cleaning, and the idea of taking care of another person is seriously a turn off. Not even sure I ever want to get married. I've seen the way some people are in marriages and sometimes they act like, if they could, they'd go back and never get married at all. I'd rather die than be the reason someone else wishes they weren't married to me.

First I'm spending too much money cause I'm close to depressed and now I can't stop buying things because I'm so happy. I can't go two days without spending money on something, I constantly feel the need to get something new, even the tiniest things like a new 1€ ring to add to the pile. I'm officially addicted to (online) shopping :x