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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 14th, '14, 07:03
by Ziaheart
What have I gotten myself into?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 14th, '14, 13:58
by Megurine_Gem
Results tomorrow and he treats me poorly. why do you like him?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 14th, '14, 23:28
by Fire
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Am I fooling myself with this road trip?
I don't think my parents will EVER agree to it.
But it would be so good of me.
For us.
I don't want to disappoint you again.....
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 14th, '14, 23:58
by jacobgrey
So tired of repeating myself. Of waiting for you to be a man.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 15th, '14, 00:11
by Megurine_Gem
Horrible result. Need to find a pathway. screw that uni, i'm not going there. parents will pressure me anyway. Just please let me get into that uni somehow. I'll get good grades, volunteer every day to the nature reserve and they MUST allow me to transfer through to that course afterwards. I'll study as much as I can and will start asking more questions just please let me get into the only thing i've actually wanted for the last year
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 15th, '14, 09:34
by Ziaheart
I hate today.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 15th, '14, 15:44
by jacobgrey
I don't wanna talk it over. You're just going to argue with me again and use your logic to end it all like last time. I don't wanna feel that way again.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 16th, '14, 08:16
by Agito
I'm a bad person aren't I. and I don't know eaht im doing wrong. And that's a lie I kinda do. But I don't know how to change it. And its all my fault. I'm ruining everything and its all my fault.
I should just be alone. Not do anything. Not influence anybody. But I know I can't. And I'll just keep hurting people. And I can't fix it without hurting them even more. Why did I even try to do anything with my life. All I do is ruin shit and create problems. Fucking hell.
He was right. I am crying. Guess the jokes on me.
Two finals left. Probably going to fail them because of my own inadequacy and laziness and procrastination. Again all my fault. My parents are gonna be pissed. Dad would be sad. Mom would be ashamed. As the runt of her family anyways, dissapointment is something that comes along I guess. Dishonor on the family. Why. I am definitely not getting the GPA for med school. Ha. That's funny. And j was supposed to take one for the team.
I hope she turns out better than I am right now. She deserves it and more. And I love her. She deserves the happiness because she understands and tries. Im just here, floating. And crashing and fucking shit up. But she is hope. Hope that something will go right in my world.
I miss the old days. Unnoticed and unwanted. Days went by easily with no problems. Just me and life. Not always fun but much less stressful and drama free. But now the drama has found me and I'm the one who started it.
I've made too many mistakes. All the cuts and bruises on me and on others. I need to stop. Stop it. Stop it all. Get life to how it used to be. Before uni. Before friends if they even are. Silent. Not lonley but alone.
I am excited for the break. I can get away. Forget about some things. Sure some other things will come up but I can forget the shit ivr made for three weeks. Maybr I'll forget it all. Come back and everything will be different. Back to normal maybe . maybe I can not be a bitch anymore. But probably not. When does drama go away? Never. Because I'll remember. I'll remember and I'll ty to forget. Forgive and forget but I'll remember I've hurt and I will crawl back to my mind. To the bottle of my words and feelings.
I'm sorry I scared you. Im sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I lead you on. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Im sorry. But sorries don't help. Dad always said crying never helped either. But I'm doing both, hoping they will.
I should sleep. Final is tomorrow. Tits are not calm indeed.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 17th, '14, 10:10
by jacobgrey
I nearly lost you, and that made me lose it. And I have to be careful now but I don't know how long I can hold it together for before I lose my temper again, and then you'll disappear. But you make me so mad sometimes because I care so much and you just don't listen. I don't want to be afraid to say anything to you in case you go again.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Dec 19th, '14, 05:47
by Ciel-Kun
the holidays are coming up but I have just felt more sad each passing day and I don't know why. I thought it was over but I'm just randomly crying again.
I've lost the positive feelings again and wish for life to end quickly.