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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 9th, '10, 18:10
by Taryn
I honestly feel like no matter how hard I try to help people, none of the people I help will ever truly get off their sorry asses and do something with their lives.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 9th, '10, 20:57
by Shadow-Ofthe-Night
I would prefer this was not read, but it doesn't matter, nothing of it is really personal. :P
First off, I hate school and do not want to go back when it starts again. I do not just hate the homework, I hate the students. Most are just immature little brats that never learned how to grow up. There perverted jokes are not funny, they are wrong, and they shouldn't e ven know what half the things they say mean.
My dad annoys me and I cant stand it. He laughs when I say it annoys me, yet I fail to see how it's anywhere near funny. When I do something wrong, they call me names. When I return the favor, they just say "that's not nice" or "you shouldn't talk to your parents like that", they're right I shouldn't, but what gives them the write to talk to their daughter that way? Just because I'm younger than them they think they can get away with doing anything yet I still have to respect my elders? I wish I could, but I can't show them respect unless they show me respect in return. I'd hate to sound like a brat, but all I want is the insults to end in our family and not have to turn and walk out of the room before the saw my clouded eyes.
Another thing is, I hate guns. They make my me freeze and unable to talk. I don't want one in the house, I don't feel safe with one. I couldn't ever use one for anything except skeet shooting or something of the like. I couldn't live with the burden of have taken a life, legal or not. I don't want it to ever be that way, but I'm afraid someday it might be. I wish I could live in a place without the worry, but even if all weapons were made illegal, everyone still wouldn't be safe. Perhaps I'm worried about nothing, but I could never be too sure.
I worry every time my mother goes to the doctor. I fear one day they'll say she has something serious. One night I was watching TV and saw a commercial about a life threatening illness for people her age and wanted to cry. I'm afraid that I could lose her and I don't know what I would do. I don't want to live alone with my father all the time, I couldn't. I wouldn't. How would it affect my life? I would have no one there at home. They said if both of them were to die, I would live with my brother. I don't mind visiting him, but not permanently.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 10th, '10, 05:27
by Moi
I'm capable of the lowest of lows and it's not for attention.
I have feelings like everyone else and what you say hurts.
Try helping instead of ignoring me or assuming I just want your attention.
I need support. Am I not worthy of that?
I'm tired of defending others and no one ever defending me.
Don't play the victim when I lack compassion for you. Why should I?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 10th, '10, 10:05
by Lucial
You're name haunts me...
I loved you so much, and yet I could never see it.
Now your gone and I have nothing anymore. Just
the love I could never admit. Chains of morals and
rules held me back, but they never did for you...
Why? Why couldn't I be more like you? Maybe,
I would be able to be happy like you were when you
were alive, despite the hell you lived.
Every time I see your name, my stomach knots.
Your story, the one I share with you. My story about you.
It screams in my heart wanting to tell everyone, anyone..
when ever you come to my mind, over again, repeating.
It kills me, because I will never forget you.
All I want is to be in your arms...
your cold... dead... grasp.
even if that meant my breath would stop.
I wish to see you smile once more.
but I know better because...
Dead girls don't smile.
So I won't anymore...
Just like you.
Samantha....Samantha Samantha Samantha Samantha...
My Sam-sam... why... Couldn't I be with you...
What is f*cked up is that some now
even question if you are made up, someone I make-believed.
Just in my head...for what? to cry? to get attention? to gain
pity? I don't even know myself... were you real? I can't really
tell... I just have drawings of you....nothing more... not a letter,
nothing of yours... not even message logs or emails. Like a ghost, your gone.
sometimes though... I still hear your voice.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 10th, '10, 23:20
by Rosamond
This is not really a secret. I do sorta hope you see this but even if you did you probably wouldn't understand it. It's so hard for you to comprehend things. You know I don't like you but it seems to be a mystery to you why. I haven't liked you for a long time. The main reason is something you can't really help being but I wouldnt have much of a problem with it if you weren't rude to everyone. You say stupid and mean little comments all the time, then if anyone gets upset about it you are surprised. It doesn't take a genius to know that if you aren't nice to others then more then likely they won't be nice to you. Why don't you try treating people how you want them to treat you. Your ego is unflattering. You might be decent or good at some things but you are not great. Stop having delusions of grandeur and see things for what they really are. There's plenty of people who are better at what they do then you are. It's foolish of you to think we were ever friends when you never even bothered asking what my real name is or ever bothered to really get to know me. Don't think I don't know that you talk shit to your buddy. You do it out in public and act as if it's private. I can tell you and your buddy aren't much friends as well, eventhough you both act like you are. You know each other in person yet your only form of communication is a forum, that's really sad. You are not worth my time and the best thing I could do is not bother talking to you again, which I intend to do.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 11th, '10, 21:21
by panda_girl11
Well...for me...geez where to start?
Well I have this tendancy of worrying
so much that's viewing things on
both positive and negative things.
Which the negativity seems to always
take control of my mind that eventually
leaves me crying myself to sleep at night
a lot of the times. Which my parents don't
even know that I'm awake at 3am in the morning.
Another thing is that I'm afraid of is coming home
from school to possibly hear a pet or relative had
passed away. It just makes me wish I could redo
my day or something.
Also another thing is that my parents don't know
that I've thought of committing suicide because of
the negativity that gets over me and makes me feel
like I'm the whole cause or something, even though my
positive side tends to overcome the negative. Seeing
I haven't had to urge of killing myself. *sighs*
I just have so much that I always bottle up which my
mom knows that. It's like my mind automatically tells my
insides to bottle up my thoughts and emotions until eventually
I am bursting out in sadness, anger, fear, and confusion.
I sometimes wonder if I have some sort of depression or something.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 14th, '10, 04:08
by Taryn
I worry that I am going to hurt anyone who gets close to me.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Jul 14th, '10, 06:50
by giraffie
I feel like I need a boyfriend to get back at you. But I'm completely over you. I just want to make you mad because you embarrass me.
