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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 7th, '17, 04:57
by Fran
I don't want a job where I'm nervous to show up every morning.
Why can't I work in a field where I'm excited to be there?
I want to write. I want to edit. I want to feel comfortable.
Why can't people just have what they want?
Ugh. Cue existential crisis.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 7th, '17, 11:02
by jacobgrey
I am starting to want to rip my own teeth out of my mouth. If there was just a ten minute break from the ache every day I could manage it fine. The constancy is driving me crazy.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 7th, '17, 16:17
by Kimiko
Urgh... Why do I do this to myself... I'm actually doing housework to procrastinate from doing my actual work... -_-
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 8th, '17, 00:12
by Tatteredlion
Not so much as a rant today. I adopted a very pretty and sweet cat yesterday. She was supposed to have $100 off of the adoption price but they told me that it was only supposed to be until last Sunday. Oh well it's still on her cage, but okay she's just that cute that I don't care.
Now the cat wants nothing to do with me XD. She's now following my sisters friend around the house and wanting to be his best friend. She likes my sister as well. Oh well, she's still sweet. I'll be jealous if this keeps up but for now I'm willing to be ignored by my new cat.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 13th, '17, 21:29
by Moi
I had a good cry last night.
I was thinking about my grandma that died a couple of years ago.
She's the one that came from Germany and kicked the Nazi and almost got shot.
I've been thinking about how much I wish I had asked her.
She was kind of quiet and so was I.
There's so many questions I want to ask her and I wish I'd asked her to teach me German.
Now she's dead and I won't ever see her again.
And it hurts me more to think that when she was dying, I held her hand and talked to her.
I had to leave, but she wouldn't let go of my hand and I told her "Grandma, I have to go. I'll see you again!"
But she died before I could see her again.
I feel like a shitty granddaughter and a liar.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 14th, '17, 18:37
by Madissskin
It feels weird to be geniunely happy
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 15th, '17, 00:28
by Tatteredlion
Spoiler
All it takes is one greedy person. You do know we will get next to nothing for this and by you saying you want the money now or sell well guess what guess we have to sell. Greedy little thing you. You do know you won't even get the money? You'll loose it to the government. We've explained this to you many times. You are only allowed so much money, this will put you over that amount. Plus keeping the house is smarter all around but oh well, guess you know better. So now I really do need to find another place. All because my sister won't let us buy her out.....
I don't know what to do now. I got the new cat but I'm going to be homeless soon. Great, if I knew this would happen I wouldn't have brought her home. Oh hey cat, welcome to your new home. Don't get used to it since we'll probably end up living in a cardboard box. This doesn't help me feel better. I'm already dizzy, I have no appetite today either. I need to do groceries but I'm so dizzy I can barely stand up for long. Plus buying food when you have no appetite can be worse than going when you are hungry. I would most likely walk in then walk back out.....
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 19th, '17, 09:08
by Sunlight
Burning all the bridges and sabotaging myself.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 22nd, '17, 04:33
by Tatteredlion
Spoiler
It was hard to watch you realize that what you thought was going to happen wouldn't. I knew that we weren't going to get that much and I tried to tell you that months ago. It was fun to be swept up in your reality for awhile. I enjoyed the thought that we would get so much more... Now I'm sitting here feeling so drained. I'm exhausted and feeling like I'm going to cry. I think that my feelings are starting to come through the haze of numbness that has surrounded me for so long. I finally got out to the mall to donate dads hearing aides. After that I just sat on a bench and was fighting back tears while people watching. Well actually I wasn't really watching just every once in awhile someone would do something that would grab my interest. Right now though I feel anxiety rising and I just feel like something is going to go really wrong and soon. Plus I still feel like such a failure. I can always count on my sister and a few friends to remind me of this. (Though the friend doesn't realize that he's feeding this in me... he's just kidding around.... but it does affect me and some days I just want to walk away and never come back.)
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Sep 22nd, '17, 05:59
by Madissskin
This doesn't feel like home anymore, being ripped from my roots to move.