Kingdom of Knuffel

I'm having a bad evening. My mom had asked him if she could put some money on one of her games. He said we'll see. Well this morning we found out that my care provide paper work came back and none of us understand what I'm supposed to fix. So now I have to wait till Tuesday to call and find out. No one is sending me paper work about my changes. They just send all my papers back saying I need to fix this. But in this case I have no idea what I'm fixing. So my dad was really upset because that means I probably won't get paid till September for July's paper work. And I don't know when I'll get paid for August when I send it all in. So naturally Dad and I are pissed and stressing. So my mom figured not to put money on her game. Well my dad asked her why she didn't put the money on and she said "You didn't give me your card." So Dad told her she could have gotten it out of his wallet. So I'm sitting quietly until he left. And I'm mentioning how amazing it is that he'll let her put money on her game, but they still haven't given me a few bucks to get something for my birthday. And them my mom's all I asked yesterday and when it turned out we have no idea when you're going to get paid, I didn't think he wanted her too. And I mention how they always forgot about me even when I was younger. And my mom replies: "We don't mean to forget you." My reply was: "Well you're doing a real great job at it!" And now I'm sitting at the computer still upset and crying off and on. You know I'm so used to being forgotten, so why am I still getting upset? I don't want money on a computer game. I prefer to have something tangible like a DVD or something. And my dad, who had gone to work early, had time before clocking in so he bought a scratch off and won $70. And my mom's like "That's great! Now we'll both get our wishes." And I'm like don't worry about me. We need that money for more important things. So yay. More disappointment in my life. I FUCKING LIVE WITH THEM AND THEY PUT ME IN THE BACK OF THEIR MINDS! I don't mind waiting because family comes first, but my mom's more concerned about her fucking game than me. And it's not like she won't get something on her birthday! Dad and I always make sure she has something on or around her birthday. But not with me. Why the hell do I still care?

I dunno what's worse. Being forgotten about like that or having a mother who'd claim she's getting you something for a b-day or holiday and it turns out its all for her... =A= makes me feel unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated.

Both.

This morning mom took like 3-5 cans of sprite with her when she went to visit the neighbor. She later came back because there was a snake and it freaked her out.

Well apparently it also freaked out some of the kids over there as well, so mom decided to give them some of MY computer paper.. PC Paper she got me for xmas.

I was trying to make a point that she needed to stop handing out our shit no matter how small it is... She says "I paid for it there for it's mine and I can do what I want with it."

So any and all of the things she bought for me, are all hers in the end cause she paid for them.

UUUGHHH I need to get on SSI soon =A= fk this..