Kingdom of Knuffel

I'm worried he'll call one of these days during the 2 weeks only to realize I'm not here and it makes me sad because I want to tell him everything that has happened thus far. I hope he calls Sunday at a reasonable time (before 7:30 pm)

I tend be a complusive liar sometimes. I am getting better at not lying tho.

I fear tonight that my worries about something will be a positive..

I wish that email in my spam account was actually a real email he wrote to me but I know that CAN'T be true..And his email got hacked again..

I'm terrified of people talking to them, touching them, letting them touch me... Whether it's a hug, handshake, accidental bump, even if It's someone I know... I'm so scared. Even talking online with people I get nervous and shakey...

I don't like when certain guys touch me. Especially if I know if they don't have clean hands, like they haven't been washed. I cringe. I especially hate when my lil brother touches my arm or something. I don't like if I'm working and I have to take money from ppl that have dirty hands. I'm not a germaphobe...I just don't like the thought of dirty hands.

For the past six months me and this guy have been hanging out. We became almost best friends ever since we met. Ever since i met him, i also started harboring feelings for him- I hadn't yet seen the depths of his wonderful personality yet and his looks weren't what was cutting it for me. It was something else, but i have no idea what. He also started having feelings for me when we met. So, In Dec2010 i went to his birthday party (which i struggled for my parents to let me go, because we're two years apart and they know nothing about him or his family), i had to have my dad go with me. Now, that's not the problem. The problem is that less than a week after his birthday- when i felt the closest to him- He asks out some other girl. Heartbroken, i cry and cry. Feeling stupid, tricked... wrong. He does like me, he told so many people he did, and he has a rep for being very honest. All my friends knew how crazy i was about him and knew that it was "screwed up" to me, at least. So, he likes this other girl. More than me or not i have no clue... But after some digging i found out a bit about her. From my point of view, she's like a twin except she's (excuse me being rude about this nameless person, but I need to release this) Unattractive, overweight, rude and mean, and one year older than me. Our personality is verrrry similar in way more ways than one. I have no idea if he realized that or not.
In Dec i asked him if he'd go out with me when i turn 16,
he said "if it doesn't work out with _______"
but later he was smiling and i asked him why and he told me that I'll find out when i turn 16.
Boys are so confusing. I hate being frustrated over this.

@Orange: wow . i hope that works out for you . :)

I used to steal when i was little D: .
thats it . D: .