Seriously? Never? XD I have many colors, but I still want more XD

My brother's gone.... I can't believe he's actually gone. He's grown up now, and gone to college. I joined college last year, and I haven't seen him most of last year, but I still miss him. I'm home for the vacation now and not having him in our shared room feels weird. Usually he'd have something to say about me being on my 'fairy site', but he isn't here to say stuff like that now. I'm sad and happy at the same time.

1. Okay. So I know I kept these pancakes for 2 days in that fridge. But that's no reason to steal them and eat them. I mean, I just haven't had any time to eat them for the past 2 days at work. Why did you even take something that's not yours?
eh, I should've known better. It just turned into a stupid corpo.

2. I wanted to complain about something else, but I forgot -.-

You selfish bitch. If only you would just think about what he's going through, if you had seen he just can't hold on any longer, maybe you would have shortened his suffering. He was so brave for you, and you let him suffer until the very end. Selfish bitch. Go rot in hell.

Memoriam: no i never have seen them before :O
and wow.. I would be mad if someone ate my pancakes tbh lol
i Would put my name on it if i were u :p
and idk what happened in ur last post but im sorry for anything that you are going through :c
I hope this venting forum actually helps you guys <333

Cyclone Kira.. you should be excited your brother is growing up onto bigger and better things, but I do understand you missing him especially if you 2 were close. I advise calling or texting him just to help a little :p

Yeah, I should've done that -.- It's possible they have been eaten the day before and I never looked into that fridge, but... come on, don't steal somebody's food, that's extremely rude x.x

And I'm furious about my stupid sister's procrastinating. Her 16-year old cat was, well, old and sick. And 1) she left him alone with our grandma, who's not only clueless, but kind of stupid, and my sister only left him there because she has a younger cat that annoyed that poor old, sick guy, 2) she kept on procrastinating the decision about his euthanasia, while he wasn't eating anything and finally he was just skin and bones and the meds weren't helping him anymore, obviously. And before she finally made the decision to put him down, he just died in very sad way, in huge suffering (defecating all under himself, eating the litter instead of food, just terrible).
I mean, I get it, it's a hard decision and it was her first cat ever, but come on, it's a living, feeling creature, don't let him suffer for so long just because you don't want to say goodbye (even though she technically left him already, rarely visiting at all). And the saddest thing is, I think he finally gave in when she was there with him. Grandma was on some trip and my sister was sick, and stayed to take care of him. And he just gave in and died, like he was waiting for her so he could let go, feeling comfortable with his owner (I think he missed her terribly). It pisses me off to no end. She just let him suffer, knowing his condition, knowing how he's at the end already and she still was too selfish to let him go with dignity. I loved that cat, too, you know. I remember him as a very energetic kitten, and how I was playing with him, and how cute and adorable and count-like he was, full of noble grace. I'm just so mad at my sister that she did something like that to him. He was her very first, very own pet and she made him suffer. Not only at the end, she neglected his eyesight, too, he was blind in the end, because her stupid husband said he won't spend money on a lost cause, and she did nothing. He lived in constant stress, 'cause of her stupid husband being an unpredictable psycho, and then she took that stupid young cat, and that stressed him a lot, too. So I'm pissed at her, again (or still, Idunno).

I kind of come here a lot, so I think this thread is helping

Aaaand, here I go again... It's a cool place, where I can just rant and I don't feel so guilty about taking so much of somebody's time, because venting is the purpose of this thread and if someone reads it or not, that's their decision. So, let's have it for today.

I was supposed to see my mom yesterday at her place to do some cleaning before bf and I move in there. And mom is a huge mess-maker. But then my sister's cat died and mom had to go to our summer house to bury him (not that it's ilegal, whatevs ). So she stayed there for today, too, and I just went to her place to do some cleaning alone. But I went in and just burst in tears. It's a HUGE mess. I was supposed to look through my old clothes that I had left there previously, but one does not simply just walk into my old room and look into the drawers. I'm serious, there's almost no space to put your feet, let alone opening the drawers. I'm devastated. I was sure that, since we all agreed we're going to move in with her, she'd start doing some cleaning. I don't mean something big, I just mean, oh, Idunno, take some of the old boxes out? One each day? Or throw out some old porcelain dolls that are ugly, and useless to anyone? Or get rid of the old dishes she doesn't use anymore?
No. She stores shit everywhere. Her clothes are all over her room. There's soil everywhere. You can't even see the kitchen counters, there's so much stuff just lying there. The cooker is all dirty with whatever grease and stuff. It's a miracle you can even walk into the kitchen. You can't see the table either.
This whole place is a storage. She even kept some boxes after electronic stuff (one full of just crushed fliers, I don't even). A lot of useless papers, magazines, bills, fabrics, my old school books and notebooks, some elementary school thingies, broken and old toys, even VHS. I found fucking VHS. Not one, but three, and I know there's more somewhere. WTF. And on top of that, I found someone's documents. Some BLACK GUY (it's Poland, we don't get black guy that often) named Emilio M...-Mambo, something. Who the fuck is Emilio, mom, and why do you have his documents and some key to black whole? WTF?!
We're supposed to move out before 23rd June and she doesn't even have Saturdays off, just Sundays. It's impossible. It's at least one week work. I took some stuff out, with tears in my eyes, because my mother lives in a pigsty, and she apparently WANTS to live in it because she doesn't do anything to change it for better, and I'm just glad her-used-to-be-mine cat looks healthy and wasn't as wild to me (although I scared her with my hyperventilating and whining and crying and howling and whatever.)

It seems we'll have to move to my grandma's, but there's no space for bf's PC, so she'll have to move one wardrobe to her room, but there's no space there for that, either, but she doesn't want to move anything to the basement and besides, my sister's stuff are still there and I don't think she'll be kind enough to quickly empty the place, as we were as kind for her the last time, even though she's a total bitch.
I hate my life, we'll have to find something to rent, which will slow down our savings, like twice (or more so), or we'll have to flee the country. And I don't have a valid passport DX Not that we don't live in EU, but we may be fleeing elsewhere, so, Idk.
WHO THE FUCK IS EMILIO???!!!
I feel like dying guys, really.
I left two or three voicemails for mom, but she didn't call back and I don;t know what to think. I can't focus, I'm so stressed. I don't want her to live like that, I want to help her, but she doesn't want help, 'cause she's too embarrassed. Maybe I should try calling her. I don't know. If she listened to my voicemails, she's probably pretty broken herself, because I was literally crying to the phone. I don't know.
Bf says I shouldn't do anything there, that it's her mess and she'll have it if she wants it that way. But I don't know, she's my mom, I want to help her, am I too naive? Like I used to be with my sister? I have no idea what to do, should I call her or just wait if she calls me back? My head hurts so much from all the crying and worrying...

Im just an idiot and really dont knwo what to do with my life or why im so not motivated to do anything even tho im lowkey stressed about it all. Like i should be studying and doing work but i just laze my days away and my DAT is in 2 montsh D:::

I'm panicking again.
The branch is being shut down. They want to collaborate with me still. Preferably on b2b contract. But they'll only need me probably until they finish the liquidation, that's about 6 months.
And I don't know, on what conditions they wanna do it, because I didn't get a draft contract yet. And I don't know if I should start my own economic activity. On one hand, this is an opportunity to start freelancing. But on the other hand, I don't think I have any qualities or qualifications to freelance with. I'm lost and overwhelmed and all kinds of scared. I don't know what to do. I'm waiting, but I'm afraid everything will be on last minute, as it always is with them.
Maybe I should start looking for another job anyways.

Everything's fucked up. And everyone. And I'm sick of this. I'm frustrated. I'm procrastinating again. I don't know what to do and what others expect me to do. I wanna give up, curl into a ball and just die because it's fucking easier. It's easier than not knowing what you want from me and what you want me to do and it's easier then looking for a job and not wanting it. I don't like a job and everybody's like "why? you should've taken it, you could've searched for something else while working there". I'm sorry to fucking disappoint you. And when I call you out on not liking what I decided, you first deny it, then fucking yell at me for even thinking your opinion matters. Guess what - you;re probably one of the people who made me think opinions of others matter. Don't fucking yell at me for thinking like you are if all you've ever shown me my whole life is caring what others think, and taking only the negative things, that may not even be true things, by the way. So you know what? Don't let your frustrations out on me, just because you're mad about something doesn't mean you have to act mad around me. You said yourself that you're not mad at me so why the fuck did you start yelling? Do you know how yelling works for me? I fucking start crying. I don;t know why I didn;t hang up the moment you started, instead I listened to you yelling at me for no reason. I should've just hang up. I shouldn;t give a slightest fuck about your opinion. But I fucking do. sorry. Fuck you.