Oh I missed a lot, forgive me if I do not reply to everything, feel free to just bring it to my attention again!

@Mem The pregnancy thing is hard. I was ready for a child and my boyfriend at the time was not. He wanted kids, just not yet as he was still very young, he's 5yrs younger than me, and I understood that. So we had a talk about it and agreed we'd wait until he was older and maybe we were more financially secure as he was having trouble holding down a job, etc. Well, I have many medical problems and one thing it causes my body to do is reject birth control methods. I can only stick with a BC method for about a year at a time before my body freaks out. Well, my Implanon I had in was at the stage where it was causing my body harm and needed to be removed. My boyfriend knew this, was with me when they took it out, etc. He was aware I could not have any form of BC for 6 months while my body recovered, so it was up to him to deal with condoms. Well, he didn't like condoms and eventually decided to condoms, so I told him if I get pregnant prepare to be a Dad as it's his fault for not wanting to wear them. Note I had also been told due to my medical problems even unprotected it was slim chance I'd get pregnant. Well, 2 wks after out baby talk I found out I was pregnant (Don't want to fix the post but the BC came out before our talk). So, at 19 he became a Daddy with our amazing son who will be 5 in Feb. Lots of drama happened between the day I found out I was pregnant and my son was 6mo, not really relevant. We made it work, though it was hard. If you guys are ready, or you are, and he is shooting for something unattainable for awhile, then I'd say talk about it again and be realistic. We had an apartment already, is renting an apartment instead of owning one an option or is that what you mean by owning one?

Working in dental was actually very fun. I loved my job, my patients, and my boss. I do miss it, but as my medical problems have gotten worse it's impossibly for me to go back to it, infact I sadly may never be able to go back to work. I had to stop working at 25yrs old. It breaks my heart to thing I may never work again and I am only 29 years old.

@Jacob How are you guys doing, still well? I am glad he seems to have straightened his shit up. Lol. It's always so hard when you love someone and they're being so destructive, it's great he is making steps and want to work to save the relationship. My guess, because his behavior is similar to what my husband's was, is it has something to do with his childhood and how he was raised and/or treated. My husband had a very broken home. I don't mean just cause his parents were divorced, but because it was broken in so many ways. He suddenly had a very strict, crazy religious and controlling step mother who's punishments consisted of losing his bed and/or bedroom door, running miles no matter the weather. Through rain storms and blizzards, was not allowed anything that could possibly be seen as junk food, was not allowed a cell phone, could not hang out with friends outside of school, etc.
Then you have his real mother who is, literally this is not me being mean or exaggerating, a whore, druggy, alcoholic, and had a strange sexual thing for her son (Never touched him inappropriately or anything just creepy obsessed with him like trying to cuddle him like a BF when he's in middle school, still insisted on cutting his nails and trying to bath him when he was a teenager, etc) he could not get away from either of them fast enough. However once he admitted the shit he grew up with we were able to address why he did things and it was because he was never allowed to or for drugs and sleeping around, he saw his Mom do it his whole life and it was just normal, so when he actually realised he loved me it was terrifying as he'd never had parents who loved each other. Just a Mom who sleeps with anyone and his Dad who is being controlled by a psycho religious wench.
So, see if it's something from his past that's causing him to act how he does. I never knew any of that shit my hubby went through was real, I assumed it only happened in movies and stuff, but nope it's real. Needless to say we avoid his family as much as possible and have warned some of they dare to even try and speak to me I will call the police as they have harassed and threatened me for taking my Hubby away from them.

Themis, I am so sorry to hear all this! Glad that he found you and that you are happy together :)
I understand that he felt too young with 19, none of my friends would have been ready at that age tbh :o I would have felt too young even! But I am happy that you handled things so well :)

mem, I agree with Themis, why not rent an apartment first? I know that there are countries where it is typical to buy first (Russia, Ireland e.g.), but here it's not common to buy apartments, unless you have a bunch of money.
And 30 is still okay. My mum got me when she was 34. And I dare say I turned out pretty well. Admittedly, I am not the first child, but still.

@Themis: I admire you for reading back so far Don't worry about not responding, some of us disappear for some time and none of us minds it

I was totally too young at 19, but I still thought I was ready xD Which makes me wonder if I'm even ready now. I mean, at least now I know a thing or two about how the world works, you know? XD Way more mature emotionally than at 19.
We're both 26 now, so I guess that's normal age for me to want to start a family but Ash is totally hitting the snooze button XD

With the apartment, it's an open topic right now, we've recently talked.
Technically we can afford renting a place, although he says we don't. His point of view is: if we rent now and start a family we will never be able to buy a place. My point of view is: if we save money for a few years then buy a place and wait till it's finished, we will have the mortgage to pay off, which will result in more waiting till we can start a family. Another thing he told me, and it's a childhood trauma of sorts: he has never owned anything. So he desperately needs to own something. He also didn't grow up in a cotton candy home, plus he wants to have a family in the future, plus I want it too and he's well aware of that, so I suppose with all that bundled together he wants to own an apartment. And I don't blame him for that, because one of my biggest dreams is having my own place in the world that I could call home. He's lived in rented places all his life, which mean constant moves, changes, instability. My bff has been renting a place forever and she doesn't recommend. You just don't feel it's your own, you know? And we both want something of our own.
On the other hand, I really don't know how much longer I can stand living with my grandma. And also his little sister is not in agreat situation either (her dad's gf is coo-coo bananas, she bullies her and it's a real shitty environment for an 18-yo to live in). So I told him that maybe if we rented a place big enough, talked with his step-dad, we could take his sister in and I'd rest from my grandma.
We talked a while ago about this and he even began searching apartments to rent one, but I told him right now it's not even a good idea, the year is ending, I'm focusing on other things right now I don't have a brain to think it all throug. I offered we could talk about it in December or even in January and that's where we're at. For now I try not to dwell on it too much as I'm focusing my energy on writing this month. Then in December I have to figure out some presents (I'm always behind dog dammit), so to be completely honest I'll probably revive the topic in January XD

Well, until your boy is very young a mom on the spot is a plus, but later on you'll probably need a hobby if you really won't be able to work again :')

@Julez: It's VERY common to rent a place. That's why we don't want to do it. Ash has lived like that all of his life, he's had enough. And we live with my grandma because we want to save up some of the pile of money we need for that goal. It's not because we can't afford to rent or that we're so skimpy. It's just way more efficient than to rent and save up, because my grandma only asks us to pay for the phone/tv/internet bill and we share the water bill. That's literally all our expenses. It's like less than 150PLN total a month instead of 2000-2500PLN for a condo in Warsaw... And I vacuum the apartment like every other weekend (because I forget, lol) and I try to do all of the dishes (granny's eyes aren't so good, but she's in denial and still sneaks in to do the dishes).

Well, 30 might be okay for you but it's not for me. At 30 I'll either be over the idea or I'll be so desperate I'll do something stupid. Let's not talk about the ages again, please, I'm so tired of this topic. It only makes me feel negative about everything.

Wow, seems like all your partners had a rough time when they were younger, all lived through different kinds of shit... They should be happy that they found you guys, lol.

mem,
It's a great idea to take your bf's sister in if she is bullied by her step-mom. :)! It sounds like great progress that Ash even started to look for apartments.
I understand that he wants to own something because he never had that. But if you rent something now it does not mean that you will never buy something. In the end it's all up to you of course, but I don't see why you shouldn't do that. Sure, atm it's easier to live with your grandma, but there are obvious reasons (to me) why you shouldn't, you pointed them out yourself (you cannot stand it much longer, for whatever reason, and your bf's sister's state). Just my two cents.

So, something unexpected happened... On Friday night I went to the corporate party my employer organized. There were three fortune tellers there. So I thought why the heck not, I'll go. So I asked her about this apartment issue. She said it would be more benefitial to stay with my granny, but we should be talking to her more (I assume she meant to talk to her about this apartment stuff, but I already did that before. Then I thought that perhaps it's a simple sign I just should talk to my grandma more, generally speaking. So yesterday, the day after the party, I went to talk with grandma (it kind of even started naturally, nothing forced on either side) and this is when the weird stuff happened: I didn't even get annoyed once. Like, she always annoys me with this or that, but this time I talked with her for hours. HOURS, you guys. I never talked so long with her XD And I didn't even flinch about it. It was anice talk about everything and anything. I helped her out with something small, we continued talking etc. And I even got inspired to buy her a christmas gift, because like always I have no idea what to buy people XD So I'm truly amazed and maybe if I continue changing MY behavior and MY perception of her, chaning our relationship to something more positive, then maybe I'll be able to live with her longer without so much internal suffering I'm shook. It's a discovery xD

Another thing though, the fortune teller told me Ash might be indecisive about starting a family up to 6-7 years, so maybe I should try having this baby without him knowing. And right after that she says: "a good time to plan motherhood would be in Autumn" and I was like dang, that woman has no time to fuck around with her words, she just spills the tea xD
But yeah, true or not, if a complete stranger with almost no information tells me to go for it... I might (or what if it's the universe's plans to test out my morality? ). Of course it's almost a year ahead, so I might also just forget the hell about it and live my life like I heard nothing xD

to be completely honest she said a ton of vague things, didn't clear up much. My lesson from that was that I have options and I'm like, yeah, I knew that, thanks xD

Fortune tellers can be like that. :}