Kingdom of Knuffel

I know it's worth, and I would, but bf is starting a new job in September, he just doens't want to get a vacation too soon ^^; Maybe next year we'll go, when it's not so hot in there 8u Otherwise we'd die if we'd go now x.x

Oh really? Where did you go to jacob?
Haha that must had been really weird.

@mem
Sure, I'm waiting for you guys next year!

Nothing like some good old bush fire right Zia? xD Every summer we prepare for bush fires here in NSW and I think they do controlled fires as well. Bf's parents live up near the moutains so it can occasionally get smokey. Dw, it's like one state wide smokey summer BBQ. Yum.

I hope the job pays well so you can move out and get married mem ;)

I would like to return to Japan and bf wants to hit up New Zealand! We'll probably do NZ soon cause it's close.

@Haze: Haha, sure, I'll keep you updated

@Poshi: Well, the job pays much better than the one he's in currently (almost two salaries of his QuQ;) and they seem to at least respect the employees. The company he's working at just treats everyone like garbage x.x

Funny thing, I was talking about the marriage thing with my therapist yesterday xD I came home and couldn't help myself and started crying, so bf asked why I'm crying. And started guessing, so yeah, after I corrected him that the session was about the future, not the past (in Polish it's two very similar words, one letter difference: przeszłość-past and przyszłość-future, can be confusing if you're crying and can't pronounce things right XD), the first thing he guessed was marriage. But he didn't really try talking about it. So I feel that he thinks like this: "It's your problem, I have my rules and I won't break them, you deal with the problem you're making".
So I guess I should try talking to him about it a little, I just don't know when x.x

memoriam wrote:You had a fire?

Poshi wrote:Nothing like some good old bush fire right Zia? xD Every summer we prepare for bush fires here in NSW and I think they do controlled fires as well. Bf's parents live up near the moutains so it can occasionally get smokey. Dw, it's like one state wide smokey summer BBQ. Yum.

There have been several wildfires so far. Boyfriend's complaining that we haven't seen the sky in a week.
I could smell it on top of the mountain in our city. I don't think we do controlled fire around here, though. I think the first natives used to. White people put a stop to that when they stole this land. I didn't know you had a new guy, Poshi!
I remember last time I talked you had recently broken up. Sounds like it's going well if you're planning on travelling with him!

Oh, mem. I hope he just didn't want to get into it while you were emotional and that he's willing to discuss it with you when you're more cool-headed. It sounds so difficult when your goals don't match up. That's one of my biggest fears; that marriage will become more of a priority for my boyfriend and that he'll come to resent me for my unwillingness to marry.
Or that he'll break me down and I'll resent him for making me compromise.
I told him from the start that I never planned on marrying and that he should date someone else if that's something he wants out of life, but I always worry he's dating me hoping to eventually make me come around to the idea.

Wow, it must be super hot in there that there have been several fires already

I secretly hope that's what he really meant in his head, but I can never be sure, I'm not in his head after all x.x I also didn't want to start the discussion right after the session, because I felt a little broken and vulnerable. But bf did hug me and didn't actually act insensitive. I suppose he was then changing the subject to let me cool off.
Marriage isn't a priority for me actually. Kids are I don't need to be married to have kids, I know I want kids with him no matter what. But he wants to do things "right" so no kids for me unless we're married x.x Gaaah, why's he so stubborn? *ded*
My therapist actually told me an example similar to yours from his other client: he was a divorced man who was in a relationship with a very nice woman, but she was pressing on having kids, and he didn't want to (already having his own and such) and after some time the client decided he didn't want to hear from her in five years that she was waiting for him to finally want kids with her, and that he ruined her life this way. So he broke up with her, even though he really liked her and the relationship itself was great.
I think I've already talked to my bf about this one time, after his acquiantance was getting married and I got super depressed about it, and I think we may have agreed that even if we're not married by the time I'm 25, we'd try having kids anyways... but I can't remember, my memories often feel like my imagination more than actual memories... x.x It's annoying, I can never tell I remember something happening for sure. Maybe it's a disease? LOL
It's hard to decide what to do in such situations. The therapist said: "what I(memoriam) want is important". That's what I'm trying to learn. But dog damn it, you can't force someone to marry you no matter how much you want to XD
I remember we were chatting about your situation previously, did you guys talk about it more or is the topic put off to the side?

Oh yeah that season is coming up.... fun....

-stalks poshi's insta- -already following her- so pretty. Also I liked a picture of a mug you bought last year.

Sorry but what's wrong with kids and not being married? Like I guess I'm used to hearing about single parents and like married couples not working out, etc. -shrug- It's a topic I struggle with because I deem for myself kids something I don't want. And this is just me being super blunt, I think that parts of the world are overpopulated.


I'm pretty sure in a way even though Peter and I are engaged that he isn't sure he wants to get married. For now I'm happy being engaged..

Haze wrote:Oh really? Where did you go to jacob?
Haha that must had been really weird.

In Cyprus, I don't remember XD In Greece it was a school trip, so we travelled around a bit. This was probably 10 years ago now. I remember Athens, Nafplion which was my favourite place to visit, uhhh... I guess we travelled to places in-between those two as well XD It was for our Latin/Classics lessons so basically we drove around anywhere where there were Greek ruins.

Lady River wrote:Sorry but what's wrong with kids and not being married? Like I guess I'm used to hearing about single parents and like married couples not working out, etc. -shrug- It's a topic I struggle with because I deem for myself kids something I don't want. And this is just me being super blunt, I think that parts of the world are overpopulated.


I'm pretty sure in a way even though Peter and I are engaged that he isn't sure he wants to get married. For now I'm happy being engaged..

For me - nothing XD I mean I don't care if I'm a wife and mm or just a mom, I already consider myself his wife, we live together, we sleep together, I wash his clothes, he helps me hang them on the dryer, he cooks, I do the dishes, we plan traveling together, we dream of having our own place, we already make plans on what kind of furniture we want, we've even discussed adopting animals and picking names for our kids (I couldn't help myself >w< But he didn't run away, so it's his fault, lololol XD). We're planning that loan/mortgage for an apartment. We're both committed. So there's really no problem for me if we never marry but still have kids. Marriage is just a paper after all, even though I happen to want a white dress anyways But for him, first things first. So if I want kids, he wants marriage first. If I want marriage, he wants our own place first. For our place we need to first save up, then find a place and get a loan... It's a never-ending cycle for him it seems, always some good excuse He's old fashioned like that, first marriage, then kids, period x.x

You can always stay engaged forever XD