Kingdom of Knuffel

My grandma's mind is bright as it can be.
But now she feel so lonely.
Her relationship with her only son (my father) is kinda tricky, because of my mother.
I'm quite sorry for her, to be honest.


Depression is quite an underrated issue.
It can really mine your daily life.

There's a WWI diary in my family that I read sometimes. He was obviously mentally affected by his trench experiences, but the bit that sticks in my mind translates into English something like this, "People keep talking to me as though walking through that corpse soup was hard because of the dead surrounding us. But those *swear word*s had it easy. The dead aren't the hard part. The hard part is to keep walking instead of just lying down and joining them. Lucky *swear word*s, the hard part is over for them. People should not pity me for being surrounded by the dead, they should congratulate me for living."
More or less. With maybe a few more swear words.
(That diary was a serious eye opener for me in a number of ways. I was shocked how often he'd write down wet dreams. Maybe he was just bragging and making up stories for the other men?)

Wow, quite an story.
Was he a member of your family? Did you get to meet him?

I had a family member here in jail, and later on a camp. She wrote books about it. I should re-read them sometimes, they did shake me when I first read them but I was kinda young back then...

Yes, member of my family, but I didn't get to meet him. He was already in his 30s when the war started back in 1914, and he got a lungful of mustard gas before everything was over, which rather reduced his lifespan. (He ended up on medical furlough three times, poor man. Although I think it's called something else. Going back on active service after healing up must have been so much worse after seeing that contrast) Anyhow I never met him.

Honestly it's just as well. I don't know how I would have faced him, having read the diary.
Well, wait. If I'd met him, presumably I'd have met him before I ever got a chance to read the diary. So it would have just made it more awkward reading, instead. I guess?

Actual proper books? That sounds enviably coherent!

Good for that boy. You never get a chance to even try to heal if you don't give yourself the time for it. But, yeah. Living can be hard! I think it's worth it though. Even if I do get to become a ghost after I die, there's still stuff I can do while I'm alive that I'd never be able to do as a ghost. And I'll be honest -I might really enjoy thinking about what I could do as a ghost, but I don't actually believe it'll happen.

@Akili Li:
Yep, actual books, published and all the stuff.
She even has an street with her name, in the city she lived afterwards.

She died when I was 6, I don't remember much of her other than she was a very nice old lady.
Back then of course I knew nothing of her past.


@Moi:
I don't think running away from trauma is a good reason. Because it's something you can try to fix, so you owe it to yourself at least trying.
Acute and prolonged pain, that I can understand.

We only very recently got a law that allowed and regulated euthanasia, and I'm so glad we did.

Yeah, right to die laws are controversial but I do support them. If you have a right to life you should also have a right to the end of your life....

I just really feel strongly that I want my relatives to stick around as long as they possibly can. Selfish, you bet.

Yeah, I also want my loved ones to live long lives. And myself, of course.
As long as those lives are not just suffering.

I do remember the last days of my aunt, and the last days of my uncle, they were terribly painful for both.
At that point you only want them to have peace.

That's why I support euthanasia.