Kingdom of Knuffel

Moi: okay well if you think of anything you want sometime later, let me know :D

That's too bad. I guess people can be very different when it comes to love and divorce. They get bitter and lash out. Sounds like she got very upset with him for some reason and is still taking it out on him. That kind of thing can take a long time, even a lifetime, to go away. I'm sad when I hear about things like that. I think if people could just talk about their feelings honestly we would get a lot further.

He got a lot worse after I came here to rant :c I ended up in tears because he was being really mean basically. Trying to bully me into quitting so he wouldn't have to pay out on the last contracts we have left. If he fires me he still has to pay, so he needs me to get so upset I quit. J came home and helped me write a reply to get him to just shut up and let me get on with the work basically. I had so much more I wanted to say about how badly he was treating me but J made me cut it down to basically say, okay, enough, let's just get this book finished lol. I don't know if I'm going to be able to work with him or trust him again though. I can see he wants to get rid of me. I don't trust that even if he comes back and says fine just do it, there's going to be any more of the work that we've talked about in the past. He even asked me if I could 'guarantee' I would never need to take time off work again, and I'm like no??? No one can guarantee that? You can't even guarantee that to me as my client? So like WTF are you going to do if one of your actual employees gets sick? I'm a contractor, so he doesn't even need to pay for my leave, so what is he going to do if he has to pay for someone to be off work? And it was pretty obvious that he only asked that so if I said 'yes I'm probably going to need to take time off a year or so later' (which is true if we have another kid) that he would be like, aha! so I can't hire you again because you're unreliable!
I mean, sure, so unreliable, I haven't skipped a single deadline in two years......
And the worst part is, he didn't even ask if I'm alright or if it's something serious. Someone he's worked with for two years tells him that they're going to be phsycially unable to work for six months, and he's not even curious about why? Doesn't even care about their wellbeing? In his last email he accused me of being rude and disrespectful (which I wasnt, even J agreed that was bullshit while he was telling me to tone down my reply) but that made me just laugh because he never showed me any respect or kindness at all. If you respect someone, you at least ask about their wellbeing.

Only been reading the last page and I'd like to join the conversation if that's ok...

Knuffel leveling, I learnt only 2 weeks ago that apples and muffins exist, so using those now on my "main" one's, like... Why didn't I know that before?! I was always "wasting" an hour to feed them all, dig, feed again... All the wasted time and all the times I didn't want to dig because of the hassle. Anyway, Merry gifted many of those, so maaaaybe I'll meet a level 100 knuffel someday now. XD

@ Mem: Congrats on the nephew! You live so far away from him that you cannot meet him when he'll arrive? That's sad. Hope that you'll be able to hold him sometime and 'till that day you can be his favourite videocall aunt. <3 Not the real thing, but it helps a bit. :) Wish her all the best.

@ Jacob: Congrats on pregnancy! So you're due in 4 months if I understand correctly? Exciting! First one? :D The talk about pregnancy leave stinks though. Even though illegal and all, women will always have a tougher time businesswise due to their superpowers to grow and feed babies. :( Hope this one will be an exception and that all other clients will have some more feelings. Six months is not a lot and 4 months in advance is not unreliable at all. Sounds like the other party is just being an ass really...

@Moi: Ooff, my mom was that kind of person. She wanted to absolutely destroy my dad after they were definitely over trying to be together. She was even compromising her job and through that our overall wellbeing because if she was making too much money we wouldn't get anything from the social support (because my dad couldn't afford to pay alimony, so the social service would pay my mom, but as I said, it never occurred to her that it's better for us if she just gets a good job and fucks the alimony, but no, she really wanted to destroy my dad with making his debt super huge... which is why my sister and I willbe screwed when dad dies :3)
Overall messy.

@jacob: I'm sorry your client is such a dick :( Maybe just tell him you'll be on maternity leave, it should shut him up and hopefully you'll be able to avoid further stress. And if he tries anything you can always sue him. Besides, if he's behaving like this then maybe it's better if you can cut him off later.

When are you due, btw? I don't think I've asked

@Jolien: Hi! Of course it's okay to join!

*throws confetti rain for the new person in the chat*

The apples and cupcakes save my life since forever now

I have them on all my regular knuffs too. I can dig whenever I want, it's awesome

Although I don't dig that much nowadays.

Yeah, my sister lives in the UK and I'm in Poland so I don't think I'll be able to see my nephew

Besides I kind of-sort of have a difficult relationship with her husband (I basically can't stand being in his presence, see him/hear him etc. because some fucked up shit gets triggered in my brain). So I'm not sure how I would be able to even maintain a relationship with my nephew with all the distance and "hating" his father

It's complicated

I'm kind of worried tbh.

jacobgrey: I thought they were happy. I felt so safe and happy when we visited them. Their home was safe and happy. They had me completely fooled ._.
I know her mom died and she was diagnosed with MS. I don't know if that contributed to her outrage or not.
I know my uncle isn't a saint, but he's a pretty chill, intelligent, and caring guy.
He's made so much progress in his life and I'm proud of him and I hate how he's being treated. But I still love her :\
I feel like I'm betraying my uncle xD

>BU
He sounds like a complete douchebag xD
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that ;;

Jolien: I think they may stack too. Like the more you have, the more exp you earn.
I remember asking something about them and Firn said they weren't meant to be stacked but it is what it is.

Mem: That's so terrible :\
My ex aunt did something similar to my uncle - she tried to squeeze in that he needs to pay her court costs on top of his costs. The judge looked at her and said a big fat NO.
I know my mom wanted to hurt my dad when they were divorcing so she brought up that my dad should never get any kind of custody of me.
My mom said the look on my dad's face actually broke her heart and she tried to undo it but it was already done. My dad wasn't given any kind of custody of me.
My parents are still best friends, though.
We're all still very close and it makes me happy.

/missed the divorce chat/
Only know it was the right thing for my parents, but every situation is so different and people in general can act so nasty. >.<

Stacking sounds good though! I just have enough, one for each regular knuffel and already happy they're finally leveling up. :D 50.000 clicks would ruin my mouse.

@ Mem: Aw, well, maybe you can invite your sister over by herself with her nephew? Wizzair flights are kinda starting up again, maybe you can snag up a nice flight for a relatively cheap price around that time? :) I really, really hope travelling will get easier soon. Ish. Sistertime is super important too? Don't even have to mention you don't like her guy. ;-D

Now I really should stop procrastinating and sew up my top. D:

@Moi: My take is, a hurt woman is really vengeful

And the law is unfortunately on the mother's side, which isn't often the best for the kids. Fathers love their kids too, and the kids need their dads

Some time ago I watched a Tedx talk from a divorce lawyer, I think the title was "what divorce taught me about fatherhood". Huge eye opener for me. I mean, I always thought it's kind of unfair, but that woman added some facts to my head.

I'm wondering how your parents stayed friends after your mom cut your dad off the custody rights?

I don't think I'd be able to be friends with someone after such a thing, tbh. I suppose it depends on the person.
But I'm glad they're getting along and that it makes you happy after all :)

@Jolien: Oh, definitely, divorce was the right thing for my parents as well. Otherwise they'd probably go for each other's throats

But my mom's actions really weren't okay. And we told her that, but she kept going, thinking she knows what's best. She didn't XD But she tried, I can't say she didn't.

Haha, right, I don't think so. I'd most probably get invited over there, if anything. I'm probably overthinking it. But my partner absolutely hates my sister and her husband due to the messy past we've had with them. Like "not talking to each other for about 3-4 years" kind of mess. And my sisterknows I don't like her husband, I think pretty much everyone in my family knows that XD
I would like to go there with my partner, because I guess I don't trust myself around airports, lol. But he says he has no interest of going there and especially not for my sister or her baby. He gives zero fucks

Although we'd love to visit the national museum (and that'sabout it, lol). But it would be hard to divide my time between Ash and my sister&nephew. I could try to go with my mom, but she'll be flying there right before my sister's due date (October 23rd, three days after my b-day lol, my sister keeps saying he might become my b-day gift XD).
I'm definitely overthinking it and I'm sure there's a solution, but maybe it'll come in time

Haha, tell me about it, I'm the master of procrastination. I practice it everyday, just in case anything important comes up so I can move it to the next next next next next day until the deadline. Or until never if there's no deadline. I have to be in shape xD

Jolien: I enjoy my parents as friends more than when they were married.

I can't be sure if they stack or not, but you can try it 8u
I just throw all of them on one knuffel - I've never measured and seen if they do actually stack.
I'm pretty sure they do, though...

Mem: Yeah, the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" :\
I mean, my mom cheated on my dad so it was really her fault that it all happened, I guess.
I mean I know my dad can be extremely jealous too so I don't...want to blame it all on my mom.
Well, she did it out of spite, but when she saw how that broke his heart, she tried to tell the judge to split custody. So I guess that's why. She wanted him to be in my life, she just did something stupid and regretted it.
Also, my dad still lived with us for a bit and he was still in my life.
Until he moved away to be with this woman in Florida.
People got so angry at him and cussed him out and said bad shit about him abandoning me and adding in racial slurs and shit.
I didn't feel like he abandoned me. He met this woman online and fell in love and wanted to be with her.
I saw he was happy and I wanted him happy and it was okay with me that he left.
No one ever asked me how I felt - they just assumed I was angry and sad and spoke for me.

Also, here's a funny story about the piece of garbage she was cheating with.
He was telling my dad he was going to kick his ass, so he came over to our house and tried to beat my dad up.
My dad kicked his ass.
He even threw him into the neighbor's door and broke it.
Also, he gave me some PS2 games of his to play.
Now I see it as a manipulation thing he did to make me like him.
He let me borrow a game that is rare now and it sells high.
Wish I had kept that shit >Bu

@Jolien - hi :) Five months, but I'm going on maternity leave one month before the due date. I was an early baby so I'm not taking any chances, and also there will be a lot to get done

we're trying to move house right now and we don't even have a room here that we could turn into a nursery, so we have to
- sell our house
- find a house we like and convince the mortgage guys to let us have it (which apparently might be a problem, because i'm freelance and since the pandemic banks are cautious. which is rubbish because i've earned more than ever during the pandemic but whatever)
- exchange contracts and set a moving date
- actually move
- get all our existing stuff set up in the new house
- and then finally get around to setting up the nursery properly

I don't even know if five months is enough for all that... hahaha trying not to panic XD

So, at last, the client backed down a little and asked me if I wanted to set up a contract for the next book in April. But like what you all have said, he's an asshole. I'm going to actively start looking for new clients in Feb or March so I can have a replacement for him, cuz I just don't want to rely on him now.

@mem In November :) less than a month now before we find out the gender~~~
I didn't know your sister lived in the UK! Not that it matters since I will never meet this person :D If you manage to come, you should also visit the national portrait gallery. I find it cool because there are a lot of famous paintings there, especially things that I remember seeing in history books when we were at school, because they might be the only painting of that famous person or event we still have.

@moi all this talk of divorce, I hope I never have to get divorced XD It doesn't sound fun for anyone hahaha
Then again I would never cheat on J and I'm fairly confident he would never cheat on me, so I hope we can avoid many bad situations XD We already went through some hard times together that I used to talk about here, which I think made us stronger and better at expressing our feelings before we can get to a breaking point.

@Moi: Yeah, that explains how they stayed friends :) But dang, cheating? DX And with such a guy...

Sometimes women really do stupid things.

People projecting their feelings on kids is pretty common, I think. They almost always fail to actually pay attention to the child's feelings. Or they tell them what they should be feeling.

@jacob: So you're a bout a month later than my sister! Do you feel any movements yet?
Definitely share when you find out the gender! I'm so curious!

There really is a ton of boys being born in my circle lately, I'm still waiting for just one baby girl XD So far it's boys everywhere.
Do you have any suspicions or feelings about the gender?

My brother-in-law really wanted a girl, but my sister had a feeling it's gonna be a boy, she just didn't want to upset him, so she kept quiet, but now the cat is outta the sack XD

She's been living there for quite some time now. I keep forgetting where exactly

Windsor, I believe? Maybe? Idk XD
National portrait gallery sounds good to me, although Ash isn't as interested in paintings. We'll see if we ever go to the UK together

If I go alone I'll probably check it out

@mem Not yet! Although I did occasionally feel a bit of what I thought was wind. And then I read online that the very early movements can be mistaken for wind because they are so faint, so who knows XD
I want it to be a boy. Really badly XD I mean, I will be happy either way, but in my head I already started to think of them as 'he' so there will be a mental readjustment haha. All I know is they are really stubborn. When we did our 12-week ultrasound we had to wait over half an hour trying to get them to roll over into the right position, and they just kept ignoring and rolling into different wrong positions no matter what we tried XD In the end the nurse gave up and took the measurements a different way haha.
My MIL thinks it will be a boy from some old superstition and based on how her children were (she had two boys and a girl so she's experienced both). But also there is empirical data: my mother, my uncle, my other uncle, my MIL, and my sister in law all had a girl for their first child XD There is no other sibling or parent to take data from, so it seems quite conclusive haha. We'll see if we break the trend or continue it XD

Kingdom of Knuffel

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Kingdom of Knuffel

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