Kingdom of Knuffel

@Amura: Yes, making all those appointments and going places is too much of a hassle for me. I hate making calls, online scheduling often has errors and I can get lost almost anywhere, even in areas that I know

Good that you got the appointment anyway, better late then never

It can be troublesome. There's a very rare condition where people don't feel pain at all and that's why they can have very serious accidents and not report things like broken bones, burns, appendix etc. to a doctor. Feeling pain is necessary for survival.

@Moi: Thank youuuu QuQ

Yeah.... I get the same reaction. but I told my psychiatrist that I have some suspicions and she recommended another psychiatrist (even two!) that know more about adhd in adults and with just that simple thing I felt like my worries are valid and worth checking out. I just procrastinate

It's possible that predisposition to ovarian issues is hereditary, just like higher risk for cancers etc.

I do feel some pain. Certain kinds. Others not so much.
I've kinda learned to recognize troublesome situations, even if I don't feel that much.
But sometimes I don't, and I end up in some bizarre situations.


Just asking.
What would you expect if you got diagnosed with ADHD? You'd feel relieved? Or do you think they could help you, for example with medication?


I tend to think pretty much everything is hereditary.
There must be a reason doctors always ask about familiar antecedents!

It's good you do feel some pain and learned to recognize when things got too far.

I would definitely be relieved, because then at least I would have some explanation for, well, my life. And with a proper diagnosis I could get proper treatment, wheather it's a special kind of psychotherapy or medication, or both. I could dive into more nuances of whatever is different with me compared to most people and I could learn to cope better. Without the diagnosis I'm really just playing a guessing game.
I really don't care whether it's adhd or bipolar or whatever. I just want to know what's "wrong" with me.

Exactly! There's this theory that even trauma is passed in the genes, so if that's true, it could really be everything.

That's good.
I believe the more one learns about herself the better.
I personally think there is nothing "wrong" with having this or that, and that as a society we should learn to accept that people are diverse instead of making them feel "wrong", but as the world is right now it's no surprise you want an explanation.


Yes, I've read about that.
It got me thinking there is something like that in my maternal side, because, well, we're not completely fine.

I agree, hence I used the quotes. But at the same time I can't help feeling there's something inherently wrong with me. I also know everyone has that feeling once in a while. Or always, haha. I believe it's just something humans think about themselves, because we've created a "norm" and anything outside of it is "wrong" but in reality the norm doesn't even exist. (ooh, watch out, we've got a philosopher over here XD it's even funnier when you know I failed philosophy twice during uni XD)

I know, I had the same musings! Some shit went down in my ancestry, I can tell

Some sort of karma and curses, I guess you could call them like that.
I've read it's about epigenetics, but there is still so much to learn in that field.
As it happens, a very bad experience modifies -for survival- some aspects of your body (not your genes, but how your genes are expressed) which can be inherited by your offspring, and then by theirs.
They've conducted some studies with people who suffered the worst things you can imagine during last century wars, and apparently their grandchildren have some of this epigenetic modifications.


My maternal grandmother is a narcissistic person as ever has been.
I think she's the cause my mother and her siblings are all unstable. I have clearly inherited some of my mom's traits, although I make my best to keep them in check because I can see how bad it can turn.
I used to think my grandmother was the cause, but most likely she's a victim of her (or her parents) life experiences.

@Moi: I know, I really appreciated that she reffered me to somebody else who she knew had more knowledge in that disorder than her. She could've told me I was wrong and whatever. My previous psychiatrist outright told me "it's not the issue of that, your issues come from growing up in broken alcoholic family"... Thanks for labeling me after literally one phone call, when I'm completely devastated and depressed, and you were interrupting me all the time, way to go, doc.
People have no idea the issues, syndroms and disorders one can have. They're not educated in that regard. If you're tired all the time you're probably just lazy

I'm pretty sure you'll need an ultrasound for that.

@Amura: I have a whole book about genetics but it will have to wait. But now I'm curious again
Just talked with Ash about it, he said he read somewhere about a case of man, who had a strange fear of green rooms. They interviewed his family and discovered that when his great grandfather was a young boy, he had a traumatic wwII experience. Apparently he was sitting in a green room when a missile hit the building and he couldn't stand being in green rooms ever since. So the trauma resurfaced in the third generation, I think.

My family has a long line of alcoholism and physical abuse in male lines (both on my mom's and dad's side). So I know what you mean. And from the family stories I'm 99% sure my great-great grandmother was sexually abused by her husband, which would probably add to the explanation ('cause I can't say it's the actual cause) of the issues around sex that my mom has and both my sister and I have.

People tend to oversimplify - and also blame the victim.
But that professionals are also so biased is really terrible.


I love that kind of books but I usually postpone reading them until I have the time and a proper mood. Those are not light reads!
I think these sort of scientific discoveries explain a lot, therefore they are very interesting. But there is also this other side of the question, which is how to fix all those issues!