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Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 5th, '21, 21:14
by Moi
Sharp things near a spine really make me cringe.
Not just mentally but I physically twitch too xD
I can't remember why she had to get a C-Section.
I mean clearly there was a problem that caused it but I don't remember what it was...
I do wonder if I could handle the pain. I'm a weirdo that likes to test different kinds of pains out but am too much of a coward to try them xD;
Like I want to know what being stabbed in the hand feels like but I'm not going to stab myself in the hand 8u
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 6th, '21, 14:47
by memoriam
Ooh, I sometimes have thoughts like that, with stabbing or getting shot. It happens more often when I make up stories or am writing a scene that involves a specific kind of pain. Getting stabbed would be one of them
So I mainly "wish" to experience those only to be able to describe the feeling accurately.
It's another story with intrusive thoughts, like when I walk alone and it's dark and I suddenly think "what if somebody came and abducted me/tried to rape me/wanted to rob me" etc. Then I get paranoid but try to divert my thoughts elsewhere, like what I'm going to do/eat when I get home. Safely
One time back when my sister was living here in Warsaw with her then boyfriend, right as she was opening the building door she got a rope around her neck and somebody tried to rob her. I can't remember how she got away, but she was okay. Well, physically, she was still traumatized for a while and needed her man to come get her when she was coming home alone after dark
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 6th, '21, 21:04
by Moi
I know it'd hurt, but I want to know HOW it will hurt xD
My intrusive thoughts are more towards self-harm 8u
"You should shove your hand in that boiling pot!"
"You should slam your hand down on that cactus!"
"You should stab yourself in the hand!"
That's really horrible :\
I'm sorry that happened to her.
I felt the need to say "If that was Texas, they'd have been shot 8u" xD
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 7th, '21, 15:41
by memoriam
Exactly! Haha XD
I have self-harm intrusive thoughts when I'm having bad days depression-wise. Like for example I'm waiting for the green light at an intersection and when cars are going by my brain can suddenly go "run in that car's way, maybe it goes fast enough to kill you" and sometimes that goes on to "nah, a car might just broke a few bones, better run in front of a bus, that should do it"... I used to freeze in place while having these kinds of thoughts but now I've taught myself to take a few steps back in case my body decided to react. Other times I might wonder would it kill me if I stabbed my forehead with an open pen, like really hard. Or thoughts about banging my head on the wall until I bleed. I always try to remind myself that I don't really want to feel that pain or die, that I have much to live for, to accomplish, to fulfill my dreams and such. And if I suddenly died that there are people who'd miss me and would suffer.
Lol XD
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 7th, '21, 22:12
by Moi
I love your current avatar 8,u
I've thought about running into traffic and getting hit by a car.
I also get urges sometimes to jump out of a moving vehicle and slam my head against the window repeatedly.
It's very unsettling 8u
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 8th, '21, 02:51
by memoriam
Thank you QuQ
I reallylike yours, too
Ikr? Makes you question your sanity
Or at least keeps you wonndering if such thoughts are natural for other people as well.
From my research that consists literally from just talking to Ash and asking him directly, it seems I'm a little cray-cray
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 8th, '21, 03:02
by Moi
Thank you :3
Yeah, I thought they were abnormal but a psychology friend told me that a lot of people get intrusive thoughts if not all people.
So I felt a little less worried xD
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 8th, '21, 13:49
by jacobgrey
My obtrusive thoughts come from my OCD. I think constantly about how things can go wrong. My example I always give is that if I see a mug sitting on the edge of a table, my brain identifies that it's possible for it to get knocked off because that's happened before. And instead of like. moving it? or something haha, I just sit there thinking about how awful I am and how I'm definitely going to knock the mug off the table and everyone will hate me and everything will be ruined. To the point where I don't dare reach out to move it because just trying to save it from getting knocked off could be the thing that makes me knock it off. Anyway, I was working on that with my therapist so it's not quite as bad anymore, I'm learning that a) it's okay to accidentally knock over a mug anyway and b) it happened maybe a handful of times vs all the times it didn't happen so I need to chill out lol.
If someone tried to rob me like that I would never go outside again D:
Oooh I have heavy painful periods, maybe that means it will be okay for me as well!
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 8th, '21, 14:03
by memoriam
Moi wrote:Yeah, I thought they were abnormal but a psychology friend told me that a lot of people get intrusive thoughts if not all people.
So I felt a little less worried xD
The question is how much of them is normal though
Like jacob's thought's come from OCD, then I'd assume that's abnormal in her case. Maybe it's similar for people with mental issues? Dog knows I have those XD
@jacob: That sounds stressful, I'm glad you're working on it and it's getting better
Ikr?!
Maybe periods are just training for birth XD Hopefully it'll be the same for you!
How are you feeling btw? Are the cramps still happening?
Re: *⁂* Confetti Rain *⁂*
Posted: Nov 8th, '21, 14:17
by jacobgrey
Yep, cramps every morning and every evening lol. They aren't getting better or worse, just staying the same. I want them to get worse so he can be here already XD I never thought I would wish for pain to come haha.
From what my therapist was saying, I think it's normal to have the first part like "I might knock this mug off the table" or "I might get attacked in this park at night". But "normal" people would then just do something about it (move the mug, think of self defence moves or not go through the park) and not dwell on it at all. Whereas it's considered abnormal if the intrusive thoughts won't go away or they cause you to take avoidance behaviour in a way that actually negatively impacts you (like me getting dehydrated because I don't want to pick up my drink lol).