Kingdom of Knuffel

About 3 hours ago I heard about 5 or 6 gun shots. A boy was shot and killed right outside my house, by a boy I've known since Elementary school. There were 4 officers and 1 detective all searching the area for the weapon and him. We were being questioned. I think I'm kind of in shock.. because it happened... right outside my gate. There's blood on the street. And I'm actually still shaking.

I really don't want to talk too much about it. But, I needed to say it somewhere.

I'm worried, recently I heard about my boyfriend's friend whose base is on lock down for a week I hope it's just a false alarm otherwise my boyfriend might be in trouble also.

So, I'm engaged, and happy. We're in a three-way relationship with our roommate, it's going well. They both said, if I talked to them first, I could sleep with a friend of mine that i've been after for a while. He was okay about it, but I can't tell if I'm just wasting my time, he seems to have no thoughts on the whole situation..... I don't quite know what to do....

I can't understand how you think she isn't disrespectful
You don't have a job and she does and now you're kind of hoarding into her job
when she has bills to pay and you don't?
And then you want to use her car because it has gas when your truck is out of gas? :mcmeh:

I think you want a daughter to take care of you or something
it's annoying to get off the phone with you and hear about what she has done now

FUCKING SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!!
ASK THEM TO BE YOUR FUCKING CHILD OR GRANDCHILD FOR ALL I CARE!

I'M NOT DOING GOOD THESE PAST FEW DAYS AND NOW YOU BRING MORE SHIT INTO MY LIFE!
I DON'T NEED THIS!
I'M ON THE VERGE OF BEING THE MOST VIOLENT BEING I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY FUCKING LIFE!

FUCK....
I'm tired of all this shit. I'm just thinking about how better it would be if I wasn't around. One less child to nag about and complain about.

I secretly wish he likes me back. His personality is wonderful. I want to take a picture with him, but I'm scared to ask. I'm not that open in real life. I wish that I was more open, like him. I wish that I can enjoy the days while I'm still with him.
I want to ask him many things, but I don't know how.
I hope he notices me, and that the way he treats me is different than other people in a good way.
I wish that my parents approve of him. I wish his parents like me.

So my 17 year old sister came home drunk with a bottle of whiskey. My mom went to scold her, but my sister started crying and confessing things. She confessed she's been shooting up... heroin, and snorting cocaine. She has marks on her arms where she's injected herself..

Dammit, Sis...

She also claimed my biological father, who I haven't seen since I was 13, molested her. My uncle too.

My mom doesn't know what to think of this, or what to do. To be honest, I don't either

Omg I cried when Claire and Charlie got back together on lost 8D

I became fat so that no one would find me attractive, but now I'm losing weight and I don't know if I'm happy about it or not.

I've tried several times to kill myself, because everyone confides in me. They tell me what a good listener I am. I'm only a good listener because I don't want to tell people about me and the pain inside. I don't know where it comes from.

I'm tired of seeing my mom and dad argue about everything. I'm tired of how sick my dad is. I wish I could die.

Anymore, I think the only reason I'm keeping myself alive is because I don't want to disappoint anyone. I don't confide in anyone because I don't want to go to counseling. I want to cry all the time, but everyone thinks that nothing phases me. And I'd like to keep it that way.

Kingdom of Knuffel

Dirty Little Secrets...

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