Kingdom of Knuffel

For sure! Having a language barrier is uncomfortable if it's with a close partner. So much culture and habits and values are embedded in language eh.
I think food culture is also a big thing. Like Chinese cuisine can get pretty wild, and I always feel uncomfortable when people go "ew what's that" at my meals.

Yeah so true. Which is why I’d have to choose my partner wisely, someone who understands my values and my culture and stuff. Because if we can’t connect that way, it might be hard to maintain a close relationship.

That is very true.

And these values and priorities become more and more prominent as we enter society and The Adult Life eh.
Like in school, you can be close friends with someone whose life values are highly different because at the time you guys just focus on studying and playing. But it's hard to maintain the same connection once you become independent and have to focus on life goals.

Yeah. It gets harder and harder.

I don’t want an Adult Life. 8U I want to go back to the simpler times. QuQ

Yeaaaaah sometimes I hate the Adult Life.

But at the same time, I was such a dumb idiot in the Simpler Times and made some bad bad choices, so idk if I really want to go back to that LOL

The perfect combination would be taking my current mind back to Simpler Times

I definetely would not go back.
I was quite fucked up in high school, that was not a bad time for me.
I was much better in college, I had good friends and I was away from my family, which was so good for the soul. But still alone.
In my thirties I had a partner, I had a job, I had a plan for my life. I could go back there, but what's the point - it's not so different from now?

Y'all have very different families than me. I do not like nor trust like any of my family. If they suggested someone for me to date I would go out of my way to avoid them.

But if you do like your family and trust them I can definitely see arranged dating or marriage could be helpful.


My aunt married a man from Saudi Arabia and it's been interesting culturally. I do think it's sad that he doesn't do anything from his culture anymore though. He just kind of blended in with the whities that my family is. Like he can't even speak his native language fluidly anymore. It's so sad.

I personally feel if I married or seriously dated someone who's native language was different I would put in the time to at least TRY and learn their language. Especially if they were completely separated from the rest of their culture and family.



I like to be very upfront about my wants and needs when I go about a relationship. Like any kind of relationship. Honesty is the best policy in my opinion. And people are always starting relationships with little lies that cause some major heartache later. Like saying they do or do not want children based on what they think their potential partner wants to hear. There's not a compromise possible when it comes to wanting or not wanting kids. You can't be like okay, half a kid! You can compromise on how many you'll have or how they're raised. But not on their existence.



If I could travel to my childhood with the knowledge I have now I would do it in a heartbeat. I could save myself so much pain with the knowledge I have now.

Knowing I'm autistic and that I have EDS would have been life changing.

Yeah, little lies alwayes become a burden. Even what people call "white lies".
I don't get people who tell lies tbh. What's the point?
You want to please someone, ok, you want them to like you, ok... but if you lie about yourself then it's not you whom they like!

I have that issue with my parents.
They will lie about what they plan to do, or about their reasons, so you don't argue with them. You agree with them and all of a sudden they do the opposite - what they've been telling from the beginning you they did not mean to at all.
Usually it's little stuff, but why do they lie?
And sometimes it's not that little, and they've caused more than one problem in the family because of that.

I think there are a lot of gray areas between lies and truths that makes life difficult to navigate.

On a slightly depressing related note, lately in therapy I've been working on processing the fact that I've been gaslighted and emotionally manipulated for years without me consciously realizing it. I'm still trying to work through all the layers of damage, but I do know during that toxic time, I couldn't really tell "truths" regarding how I felt and thought because I was surrounded by so much conflicting messages.

It's really made me realize how being truly honest is so so so much easier said than done. And that's likely the root of many many problems in life ):

Wow, that must have been really tough for you.
I'm glad to hear you are already working on it, I'm sure being able to at least try to understand what really happened will help you.

I had a taste of that in my childhood, as my parents used to shame me for being too sensitive and for not being "appropiate", and more than once they called me crazy (or worse). They've also always been manipulative people.
I would not go as far as calling it gaslighting, but in a certain way I can relate.


Being truly honest is hard indeed.
But being truly honest is much more than not lying: it's also sharing, and sharing can even be painful.
I don't ask people to be honest, just that they don't lie and try to manipulate me.