Kingdom of Knuffel

@Lily: Haha, I'm glad
Hmm, a color between brown and blond but neither, that sounds ridiculously familiar, are we related? XD
Ugh, that always sucks balls! I want to start a family already (is not even engaged "orz), and I see pregnant women or small kiddos everywhere. I even began to refer to "I want kids" as to "I want a dog", but it's no help, now I want both and I see combos of pregant women + small kiddos + doggies everywhere QnQ I know it's probably not nearly the same feeling you had while trying, but at least I know a fraction of it maybe XD
I may have felt similar when Ash's (as Asherin, my bf) friend recently got married to a girl and they knew each other maybe two years at most. While Ash and I hit the 6th year of our relationship this month and it doesn't seem he'll propose any time soon... if ever. It was super depressing. I know marriage is just a paper for us, because neither of us would want any religion involved and it all seems irrelevant and pointless, but I can't help it... It was so super duper unfair and I cried like forever
I'm probably so happy for you because I imagine how happy I would be myself, so it's just contageous Also I'm super jealous of you, but that doesn't make me any less happy for you As I mentioned above, I'd love to be able to start a family now... And yeah, people are generally hard to deal with, but maybe we're thinking different reasons so I'll ask, why are your people hard to deal with?
Nice, I think your daughter is having a lot of luck starting from the very beginning, so let's hold onto that thought and keep thinking she'll pull through

@Raine: I read so much about "morning" sickness that I can tell it may: 1. pass soon; 2. stay for the whole time, or 3. it may pass, then come back at the end of the pregnancy. But I'm no doctor, lol XD
Wow, people here just keep and keep expanding my vocabulary XD Atrocious Do you dye your hair often?

9 years?! I think I'd kill myself by then But at least you know your bf wants to marry you (though he's not being fair at all, too). My used to tell everyone (as in me, my mom and grandma) that, and here I quote "he'd propose to me already, but he's broke for now". So after sometime, he got a job, and I was kinda hopeful. In the meantime he had a rough situation and he had to move in with me to my grandma and since then he kind of stopped talking about proposal. I don't even know why I was still hoping. I poked the topic, but he would brush me off and have excuses, which were unfortunately for me pretty logical, cause he's like that. So I told myself, ok. I'll ask another time, when it all looks better. And I kept my mouth shut until that stupid wedding in November pushed me to tears. So when I cried he had to ask and we had to talk and we talked for a week or so. And it turned out, that while living together with me, he began wondering if he actually wants to be with me for the rest of his life (so you can imagine I felt like shit and used and whatnot tho I know he didn't mean it like that). Because I was moody and angry all the time and stuff and he knows it was because grandma was pissing me off, but still. I told him that, well, granny pissed off not only me, but him too, so we were both pissed all the time, and it's not really any explanation, since he knows reasons for my behaviors. So he told me he just wants to live with just me, like just the two of us, and then he'll see. And meanwhile, we're living with his step-father, because my sister was supposedly divorcing and we gave her our place at grandma's, but that's for another time I guess. On the other hand, he still plans to buy an apartment with me, even not knowing if we stay together or not, which is crazy for me, what if he decides he doesn't want me? selling an apartment isn't that easy, plus sharing it for the time of looking for a purchaser with a person who broke your heart kinda isn't nice, he sees no problem at all tho. Tell me who's crazy here? Cause I dunno anymore.
Maybe it's that fear of commitment, and it makes them say stupid stuff like "I don't know if I want you" or "when we don't live with your parents". Wth? But your bf knows you guys can get engaged and married even living with your parents and then slowly get out of there, making your own place, right? it doesn't bother anything, why are guys so complicated about this?
gosh, it was last month and it still bugs me. I should really make those Life Issues threads, I think I need it But on the other hand, why do people care? So why am I writing all of this? Idunno, I feel crazy and I'm getting a headache. I think I'm too emotional because #auntieflo *whispers* help me...

I don't think I would ever dye my hair by myself, I'm so clumsy with doing things, I would get mad and frustrated and whatever. So I admire you
By roots you mean which part of the hair? Sorry, I'm asking stupid questions but I got all crazy and my head spins @_@

*looks up* omg, yes, definitely a life issue thread

You guys and your boy problems! Well, I've had mine too. Alan and I met in 2000 and he didn't propose until 2011! Granted, he was overseas in Afghanistan three times and also I had some turmoil through all that time. We didn't actually live together until 2008 - just to make the story shorter :P Let's start there. It's when he was out of the Marines and we decided to finally live together. All I can say about boys and their issues? Most of the time they have their reasons - Alan wanted to be sure I was with him because I loved him and not because I was "stuck" with him. If I were you girls? It's your life, you gotta take a stand for yourself. I mean, if you get married, you're not suddenly his property? You're part of that so say something, take a stand. Tell them it's hurting you, make them talk to you.

@memoriam - lol! Let me tell you about Alan's brother meeting a girl, having his first girlfriend, them breaking up and only getting back together because she was pregnant - them getting married having known each other for less than a year - them having a baby and them having another baby.. Yeah. That made life pretty hard for me and now that i'm pregnant they seem to think it's an invitation to pretend they didn't make our lives miserable for the last few years.

I have..well, none of my blood family talks to me, I don't talk to them..whichever way. My mother passed when I was young and my grandmother got mad at me, on my wedding day because I didn't wear a really poorly made veil she made for me and hasn't spoken to me since that very day in 2012. Most of the family that we have is Alan's family and..well, I thought they were a good loving family but as it turns out they kinda just aren't. They pretend and do the gatherings and stuff but it's not real like I thought it was, it's all just for show. I don't know, it's depressing and it makes me feel so lonely.

@raine - i'm sorry I didn't come say something sooner, I sunk into a hole I guess and am just starting to come up for air. The sickness is still there but the panic and anxiety have mostly gone and I'm not constantly questioning my sanity on a daily basis anymore, lol! That's a really welcome change!

I got pokemon moon! I think i've put like an hour or maybe two into it. Tell me, should I train every pokemon I get or just keep the cute ones and train them? I haven't even beat the first kahuna or whatever yet but I think i'm probably close.

@sunlight I've known her name for most of my life! Well, her first name anyhow since I always wanted to name her after my mother. He name will be Elisabeth Renee - after my mom and Alan's mom.

I told Ash that: I know it's stupid, that it's just a paper, I know I'm ridiculous and irrational, but I really want to marry you someday, take your name on and give you children. I remember you used to blab to everyone how you'd propose a long time ago if not for some things, and it hurts that you didn't yet and I don't know what's wrong with me that would cause you to not feel that way anymore. And I feel I'm unworthy of you.
All I got was a whole week of cut coversations, (because he just never learned to talk I guess, he never tells me when something's bothering him, so I think everything's fine, until three months later bam, he's suddenly mad and he tells me I did something three months ago that upset him. I try to teach him to speak to me in time, but he's unteachable, not sure if that's a word ), and finding out that: 1) I'm super moody 2) I have qualities he doesn't think fit for a good wife/mother 3) he's scared I'm with him only for having babies (da quack, right?) or because he was the first guy in my life and I'm just hooked unhealthily 4) he's scared I'll stop caring about him if we have kids. That's all I can think of right now, I'm so nervous writing it, my head is spinning and hurts and he's sitting next to me, thank goodness he's busy QuQ
And yeah, getting married for the mortgage loan won't work either, I tried He even called me a clever beastie for that XD But he said he won't get married for an easier loan (and I get and respect that but still... #internalscream). I understand he just wants to be sure of some things, but I'm afraid he's gonna push the borders he established. Like, okay, first was the money, then you wanted to finish your studies, you didn't, now you want to live alone with me for some unspecified period of time. So I imagine you'll say a year, then you'll say, two more, and so on until I'm 40 and can't have kids anymore... He just laughed at me for thinking ahead more than he actually did... He also said he was just thining about a few months of living just the two of us, but I still fear there will be always some good excuse ofr him to never propose. And I'll be fine with that, until some friend of his won't rub it in my face again. So really won;t be okay, I'll just pretend to be, because I love that devil called Asherin and I don't want anyone else. Plus I'm happy with him when I don't think about marriage, I just like being with him. #Ilovethatsonofagun
Omg, that brother! D: I can imagine the feeling, jeez
And I'm sorry you feel so lonely, I get it. And Ash gets it even more, he literally has only a weird grandma, a weird uncle and his younger sister, who superficial. And the stepdad, but they never had positive relationship, they only began talking to each other after Ash's mom died few years back. And I think they just need each other in materialistic sense of the word, not the emotional one. Ash doesn't have normal relationship with neither of them.
Alan's family sounds like my mom's side of the family, only before grand-grandparents' deaths. Whole family gathering, everyone pretending it's all fine and we know and love each other, but we really know shit and care about shit. Lying bunch of pretenders and posers, that's what they are. No honesty whatsoever. After grand-grandmother died everything stopped. All the aunties, not aunties, uncles, cousins, what nots, we don't gather anymore and I'm super happy. But still I have problems with my older sister, who caused situations in which I turn out to be the black sheep and disgrace of the family because I don't want to accept this manipulative, egotistical person back.
Not talking to you about a stupid veil is just so grandma-like. I mean, my grandma once made a fuss about Ash and I cooking a soup not her way. She always complained about being tired by cooking, so we thought we'll do something nice and we bought fresh vegetables (she always made soups of ready frozen vegetable mix, blegh) and we offered we'd do the soup she planned on doing. She took super huge offense, because I don't know why, to this day (it was a few good years ago), she was so pissed she didn't even touch the soup with a ten feet stick. I find it weird after so much time, that my granny would take such offense over a soup, but she wouldn't take offense at my sister for ruining the wedding rings she gave her. And those were her own and grandpa's, so super huge emotional value for granny. My sister didn't even think to ask if she can sell them, let someone melt them and buy new ones. But remember, I'm the disgrace and black sheep of the family XD (Granny's words about disgrace)
My mom's name is Elisabeth XD In Polish it sounds terrible tho It's way better in English

Oh memoriam - I do feel for you. It took Alan longer than I wanted for him to propose too but I at least knew in my heart that it would happen sooner or later. I wish I had some words for you. *hugs*

This time of the year is just hard for a lot of people and it doesn't help when you watch tv and it's all happy happy or you go to a store and the whole idea of wonderful families is just thrown around. I think it's kind of meaningless but I hope once Elisabeth is around i'll feel different. Sometimes I feel sad bringing her into a world that has been so hard on me but I hope that I can teach her to be good and hopefully others will teach their children to be good and the world can change. How's that for living in reality? Lol.

We're all okay you guys! Breathe! <33

@raine - I know you're not great with keeping up with events so just so you know I have a bunch of extra keys if there's anythings you want just let me know. You can see what comes from what day HERE - seriously, I have 16 extra keys, let me know.

Thank you, it means a lot. I'm still desperately holding onto that banter Ash's mom had with his step-dad. Just when we began dating, step-dad was all like "he's gonna get a new girl in a week, two weeks at most, I know guys, I've been young too", and Ash's mom told him "Yeah, but he's not like other boys and you'll see, he'll marry her someday".
Of course I heard it from Ash, so it may be as well made up so I would feel better, although he told me that a long time ago, back when I wasn't (Idunno how to call it) unbelievable? improper? But I'm holding onto that like I'm holding to my life XD He also said his mom used to call me her daughter-in-law since she met me. And his step-dad still calls me Ash's wife xD "where's your wife? call your wife. take your wife with you" Sometimes it makes me proud, sometimes it hurts even more I try to joke about it, I mean when my tongue slips and I say things about marriage or kids, I just turn it into a joke. I don't want to scare that deer away (Funny thing he's a deer in Indian horoscope XD I'm interested in weird stuff I don't believe in XD)

Yeah, I feel you. Everybody wants a happy family, but life is life (nanaananana! sorry ) and mostly family members are d!cks (lol, I just got that unintended pun ) I too sometimes wonder if I really want to bring kids into this cruel world and make them suffer for my own selfish desire to just have them. And that's one of few things that stops me from totally panicking about my biological clock ticking like madness. I always just hope that I'll be smart enough and I'll teach my kids to be good people and I'll raise them to be strong against the cruelty of everything around and that I'll be able to give them a loving family (god damn you Asherin, you stubborn goat, make up your mind! *kicks Asherin* I know he'll be a great dad, so I'm even more mad #warriordwarfhamsterattacks <-it's funny, because Ash calls me a warrior dwarf hamster when I get mad or fussy, I'm tiny about 5'2" and he's about 6'2" yes, I had to use a converter to write these feet and inches thing xD #longbracketsrule) Anywho, just be the best parent you can be, there's nothing more you can do for Elisabeth to survive this jungle

Heey, if that's about events, I can help too. I sit on KofK all day practically and have tons of time to gather the fragments for any doubles I want, plus, Raine, I saw you in my Market's activity log today, buying a key You should've asked, I would've given you more and for free People are meanies and resell for higher price

Raine, are you sure your hair is straight? I thought my hair was straight until I cut it and turns out it was wavy and just wearing it long put weight on it to make it LOOK straight. Does it often look like you haven't brushed your hair? My mom would always make me go back and brush my hair again when I was younger because the waves would make it look messy.

Wow you guys. I'm the opposite. I know boyfriend wants to marry me but I don't want to marry. Not him or anyone else. At the moment, I do want to stay with boyfriend for the rest of my life but the idea of marriage makes me hyperventilate. Children, too. Though it's a shame; I think boyfriend would like a daughter to spoil.

memoriam, roots is the part that's closest to the head. You dye your hair and then your hair keeps growing and the roots (like trees) show up with your natural hair colour.

Also, maybe Ash doesn't think it's important to you because you make light of it. I understand not wanting to scare him away, but at some point, you might have to make a decision: is marriage and children more important than Ash?

Lily, that's amazing. I think about names for animals sometimes. But I'm always waffling. I want to name them after famous linguists (Chompsky sounds like a great name for a dog). But then again, after space crafts would be awesome, too (Apollo and Mir?). But it'd be funny to name them after food since I'm Korean (Stewie and Barbie?).

Aw, why do the ideas make you hyperventilate? (I was in a hospital for observation cause of hyperventilation, it's nothing cool )
lol, Ash is like "no daughters, ever, they disrespect their fathers and treat them like shit" me: but... *cuts off to recall her and her sister's behavior to dad, then recalls Ash's 15yr-old sister's behavior to her dad* okay, yeah, no idea how we'll do that, but no daughters, it's a deal XD I want a son so much still I think he'd be a spoiling father, he seems strict, but I'm thinking it's only him hoping XD

ooooh, that's what she's talking about! thank you, I wasn't sure and my mind stopped in its tracks for some reason I wanted to explain myself but it's so late and my English is becoming so bad and my brains turn off and I have to go to sleep, Ash is being fussy at me for staying on laptop when he's in bed already xD

Oh, no, after our week-long talk he knows it's super important to me, I know it, plus he takes things very seriously. I just try to make it light, because he gets nervous and when that happens his stomach is killing him and he's feeling guilty for making me feel the way I do... so I feel guilty about that, and he's guilty about that and the circle keeps going He's just too aware of how important such decision is and he overthinks it. It's just as important to me as it is to him, but he's being his careful, overthinking, logical and down to earth self. I love and hate that about him at the same time... And he doesn't feel ready for kids yet. That's also a problem, since I'm dreaming for over two years now and we're the same age, it would be easier if he was a few years older, but what can you do when you fall in love in highschool and it sticks like glue?

Oooh, I always wanted to name guinea pigs with names Ham and Becon and Lard (I don't know if it's as funny for you as it is for me in Polish but these ames are awesome for guinea pigs in my opinion XD)

I don't know. It just makes me nervous. Like, I guess I feel like it's expected of me but I don't want it and I have no confidence that I'll be able to be any good at it and the idea of planning a huge wedding and the dress and the food and the money and the house and giving up on myself to play a housewife and a mother is just stressful to me.

You need to go to bed, dude!

Boyfriend's pretty serious, too. I understand. I asked him out and he said he wanted to think about it over the weekend and that he'd give me an answer by Monday.

But that's cool that you stayed with him for so long. Boyfriend and I met in high school, too, but we didn't date for about 4 years after high school. Then we broke up before the year was out and then this time around we've been together for about 2 years.

I think those are great names for guinea pigs! I'd name one Pork Chop! They apparently taste like pork chops!

Oh! I forgot one of the name sets I had thought of. I wanted a cat and dog named Katherine and Douglas. Except the cat will be Doug and and the dog will be Kat. Just to mess them up.