You don't know why she isn't taking her?
Oh.


I don't know how it was in your case, and even less what it would mean in your educative system, but here you just can't stop going to school.
Unless of course you have a medical report which says so.

You can't keep your kid at home doing housechores and skipping classes, just because you say she has this or that.
You need to take her to a doctor.

ô_ô
If she is playing games all day and acting normally, I don't see why she can't go to school.
Maybe she's taking advantage of your mom not getting up?



Here we have some laws regarding attendance to school.
For exame, you can't homeschool. Which is a pity. But on the other hand, it avoids people saying they are homeschooling but actually forcing their kids to work.
I've had students in that situation, being (unpaid) workers of their parents business instead of going to school.

In this case I don't think the mom meant that, and I believe her daughter can be suffering anxiety episodes. She's an extremely introverted girl so it would be plausible that we did not notice much in the class but she would tell her mom.
But I think her mom is using it to keep her daughter close to her, in an unhealthy way.

She's divorced but apparently the girl does not see her father (living in the same town) in the weekends as they had agreed; the father says the girl is too worried about her mom to go see him - so I'm afraid there may be some emotional blackmail going on.
Which of course would led to more anxiety!

This kind of thing is just too complicated.

Is your mom unwell too?
I don't know, if my son did not want to go to school I would certainly encourage him to.

Depression, autism, ADHD, all that stuff makes it harder for one person. (Same as my student's anxiety, which I do believe.)
But if you let a young person's world spin only around her problems, you are not actually helping her.
Being supportive is way more complicated than letting someone have their way.

Some space and some time.
But too much space and too much time, so much that you get used to new routines, means that you might never be able to go back to your previous life.


Let's say one person is depressed. You can't force them out of the house. You should leave them heal.
But when they are a bit better, you can encourage them to do something different, not just stay at home feeling down. Things such as seeing a doctor. Things as trying to go out for a walk.
It may work or it may not. But I think it's important showing your support in an encouraging way, not in passive way.


I don't think it's easy.
Right now I'm seeing other families having a really bad time.
One of my students just got diagnosed MS. She's only 15 for god's sake. Of course she's depressed now, on top of all the physical problems derived from MS!
Another one suffers schizophrenia, and we are kinda worried because lately she's having suicidal thoughts. She also has a TEA, OCD and a very poor self-image.
Of course for parents like these is very hard finding the right balance between pushy and discouraging, but they are doing their best. And I think on the long run it's gonna prove worth it.
Still very hard.
Very very hard.

You are a different case. Or, maybe I should say, you are at a very different stage.
If we had discussed this when you were 15 or 16, before you became a shut-in, the comparison would make more sense.

Helping you back then to find different strategies to deal with social situations might (might! you can never be sure!) have changed your situation.
Not everyone with issues like yours feels the need to live a recluded life.
Some may manage to live their lives with less limitations than you, while I'm pretty sure others have it much worse than you. Somewhere in their lives there was a turning point, and each of them made their own choices.

Your situation does not seem specially bad to me tbh. You have your issues, it's true, but you generally sound as a person who is content with her life (but her teeth ^_~ )
But it's not what I would want for a young girl either.
I would want them to grab the world and choose which piece of it they want to eat, not be left with breadcrumbs and eat that because that's all that life left for them.

For example, one of my coworkers has a child with autism. Talking to her about our students, she mentioned that one of them gives her a lot to hope for.
That guy is extremely asocial, but so content of being so. He struggles with some subjects, but he loves learning about the stuff he enjoys. He's very very particular, but he's got a life he likes - and I'm sure he'll live an adult life that will fulfill him in his own terms.
As a mother and as a teacher, that's all you can ever hope for.

And for other students which may be at turning points which may decide the path they take, yes, I'll be suggesting them to make an effort. Even if it's hard.
But I would not dare to suggest you such a thing, because your situation is completely different. First because this is not a turning point anymore, this is your life and has been for 20 years.
And second because you are an adult, for god's sake, you know what's best for you!