Kingdom of Knuffel

See, even when I didn't drop out of school - I didn't like join any sports or want to leave home to go party or feel the need to sneak out to go party.
I'd go to school, come home, lounge around the house.
My mom told me not long ago that she was sorry I didn't get to go to clubs or go to parties and have a boyfriend/girlfriend and date and all of that.
I told her "I didn't WANT any of that ._."
That's another thing too.
Because I was quiet and like keeping to myself - my family thought something was wrong with me.
Because I didn't want to date anyone and all of that - my family thought something was wrong with me.
I also got told "You're just shy! You'll grow out of it!" which was not true at all.
If I weren't crippled by my anxiety disorder, I think I'd still prefer staying home and being alone.
I think the two just sit comfortably together xD
I do know people get upset because I don't want to leave home, but it's not always an anxiety thing.
I just don't like leaving home .__.
I'm a grownass adult - I don't HAVE to do what I'm told Bu
Last time I talked to my therapist who I've had since at least 2015 told me "Well, if you don't HAVE to leave home, then don't 8U"
Naturally he told me I have to leave to see a doctor and that kind of stuff, but other than that y'know ._.

Yeah, I don't want my sister to end up like me ever.
That was something I worried about since she was born.
Unfortunately, mental illness is genetic, I guess xD

You know, I've wondered if I was Autistic. People have told me I have symptoms, but they're also stuff that deal with my anxiety disorder.
The thing about symptoms is that they can be related to different things ._.

I wouldn't say I know what's best for me 8u
I just think people are unreasonable xD
Even then, I question if I'm right or not.
So I ask people.

I agree with your therapist there, I think it's common sense.
If you don't have to do it and you are happier not doing it, then why would you do it?

But for younger people, I wish for them to have as many options as life can give them.

Auto-diagnosis is too tricky, everybody has the symptoms of way too many things and it's extremely easy thinking you have something you don't.
Specially if there are other illness with the same symptoms.

A big one people point out is lack of eye contact.
Eye contact just makes me uncomfortable.
I get extremely anxious doing it.
My therapist did get me to start doing it for a while.
I would never break eye contact, though xD
People said it was weird for someone to never break eye contact.
Can't win.

So it's a all-or-nothing kind of situation, huh?
No eye contact at all or not breaking eye contact at all.

Yeah, people said not breaking eye contact is creepy or it means I'm sexually interested in someone.
I was like "WhAt?"
I'm 100% Asexual - no interest in anyone except a few fictional characters xD

I also was at the mall one time and this woman had on perfume that smelled good.
I started to tell her "You smell good." but I didn't.
People told me that I was right not to tell her that because it's creepy.
I don't understand????
She had on perfume that smelled good, so I wanted to tell her she smelled good.
People told me to choose my words more carefully but that's not how I think xD
I would never say "Excuse me Ma'am that perfume you're wearing smells lovely!"
I'd say "You smell good 8u"

That would sound creepy to me xD

But to be honest, the tone is what makes the difference.
If you use a natural tone you'll probably sound natural. If not it may easily sound creepy indeed!

Yeah, that's what everyone says. It's not creepy to me, though.
Even if someone told me "You smell good :D" I'd say "Thanks."

I don't know what I would say.
Well, if a student told me, I would say something funny in return.

I have this student who almost everyday compliments me for whatever looks worse on me xD
Bad hair day? She'll ask me "Hey, teacher, did you go to the hairdresser?"
Using the oldest sweater I own? She'll say "Oh, you chose lovely clothes today"
And of course I'll reply her emphasizing how much effort I put into my looks xD

It's an on-going joke between us.

That's pretty nice 8u

I remember my English teacher, who I don't think was mentally sound, came to school with no makeup on.
One of the kids asked about it and she got really pissed and said "NO, I DON'T HAVE MAKEUP ON!!"
._.

I've never cared much about my looks, but the older I get the less I care.

This girl is very funny, typical extroverted girl who will talk much more than she ought.
She considers herself savvy in style (not really imho, cause she's way too biased) and once she told me I looked as if I always wore the first clothes that I happened to find in my closet.
I replied her "Yes, of course. Is there any other way to choose one's clothes?" ¬¬
Since then she realized I take no offence in critics about my looks, and she started making this kind of silly jokes.
Today I suppose she did not find anything particular to mention, so she simply greeted me saying "Hello, beautiful!" and I replied "Hello, cute!" xD

Kingdom of Knuffel

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