Kingdom of Knuffel

I like it when new people drop in my hangout and even more when they stay for longer, but if I'm the new person, I feel off. I haven't done that in a while and frankly I'm trying to focus on other stuff in my life (so far procrastination wins but I'm not done yet, lol). So nowadays I just mostly give up

So no one wants to be the new person posting, everyone wants to host? Maybe we should come up with a little guide/handy helpful tips list or something so people can use topics on it or questions or whatever to help ease their way into posting somewhere new...

That sounds interesting, like a manual for all the shy people, titled: "I'm an intruder - a guide to engaging in coversation" . . . It's a working title XD

I have no problem jumping into a thread if the topic of the current conversation is something I have something to say about. Otherwise I'm shy about jumping in, too.

Maybe such a guide would be helpful, who knows ^^ Go ahead and compile one!

"Interrupting 101: a guide to joining an ongoing conversation/hangout/thread"?
Hee hee, I like "I'm an Intruder: A Guide to Engaging In Conversation", though. That's a good one.


Okay help me brainstorm tips!


Tip From The Top Of My Head: make your initial post something (relatively) short, non-disruptive (ie not a complete non sequitur so that if someone wants to respond to you it will not derail the conversation entirely), and something that is easy to respond to. A clarification question is handy that way.


Tip the First Tip Reminded Me Of: leave some part of your post open-ended. Statements (especially personal opinions) might be easy and 'safe' in that you know it well and it's true.... but it's hard for people to respond to. You want at least something in your post left dangling that people can use to continue a conversation with. Slip in a question, elicit opinions, invite a response in some fashion or another. Give your statement if you must ("I like ice cream!") but make sure it isn't so self-contained that there's nothing for them to use ("But what's the difference between gelato, ice cream, sherbet, frozen yoghurt, frozen custard, and sorbet?")

Tip I Can Never Follow But Good To Know: long rambly text-walls leave lots for people to respond to but are a pain to read, so if you really can't avoid them (I'm just BAD at avoiding them), leave paragraph breaks for people, and just live with the knowledge that lots of people will skip your post and not read or respond.
Brevity reigns supreme!

(I'm bad at brevity, but I KNOW it's better)



Tip That Should Probably Be Basic Knowledge But Just In Case:
Try and make your tip relevant to the topic at hand, in some fashion. You can be tangential, you don't have to address it directly, but try and follow along with the flow of talk. Look for things YOU can respond to in other peoples' posts, and respond to them. They are more likely to welcome you if you are engaging with what they are saying already.



Hmmm, most of these boil down to the first tip, but are just expanded versions of it.

Yeah, but I feel like that one's a pretty good and important one :D

Sometimes I see people jump into a thread I'm in and just post a short thing that has nothing at all to do with the topic and I'm like "Huh, what? I want to be welcoming to more people, but, really? What should I say to that? I'm in an ongoing conversation that has much more substance than this oneliner that seems like it could have been posted anywhere and has nothing to do with the topic at hand or the thread at large." and then I just ignore the person, but feel somehow bad about it :(

meh, "tips" are definitely just "things to try" not "hard and fast rules" or anything. If you go off on tangents and bring up seemingly random things, then that's what you do.... you do you!

I post in about 6 or more different hangouts

Lady River wrote:I post in about 6 or more different hangouts

are some easier than others? What are the things about a hangout that will encourage you to post in it?