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Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 26th, '13, 10:49
by Celestial Wolf
I don't want to do this. They keep telling me to keep trying at it but I'm not even mildly interested.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 26th, '13, 11:11
by Queen Galux
We haven't hung out for 2-3 months; we really haven't talked much during that interim; you didn't get over here until noon; and when we finally got back from lunch and shopping, you decided to tell me you had to pick up your other friend for some shit in pretty much an hour. For every bad part, you do that stupid little "I knooooow. I'm a horrible human being" whine.
Fuck this, I'm learning to say no. You want to eat out [insert #] miles from home and do some shopping, when you're home from grad school? Do it on your own fucking time. Spending time one-on-one at home is what I wanted us to do all along, and you cut me short.
I just don't feel we're friends now. Acquaintances probably, but not friends. If I weren't alone without a confidant to my name, I wouldn't have to feel like such shit. I'm sure if I tried telling you this, you might at least feebly try to rekindle a friendship.
I don't want one with you anymore. I remember thinking the first time we met, "I'm gonna be stuck with her, aren't I?" I don't think I've ever felt bad for thinking that.
But I can't be without anyone for this long. I feel there are so many more facets to this topic with me ... trying to cover them all right here right now would leave this unwritten.
Honestly? I'm using you. I break down and initiate conversations with you because without talking with someone every so often, I'd explode. You're convenient, being one of the six people I've really interacted with consistently since, what, high school? From now on, if we're hanging out, I'm not getting the short end of the stick anymore.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 26th, '13, 18:56
by Mintyz
I still haven't forgiven you after all this time
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 26th, '13, 23:12
by Ziaheart
I feel guilty about making fun of you behind your back. And then you do stupid shit like ignore warnings and spam. And then I don't feel so bad anymore.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 27th, '13, 00:54
by Altern
I can only be thankful. My professors actually appreciate my hard work despite the recent fuck ups. It's more than I can say for my own family, but they've seen me in a very bad headspace for longer than my academic peers.
Sometimes I wish I could just do away with my family, but guilt accompanies that desire. My abilities were never recognised despite constant financial support. A false hope for them?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 27th, '13, 04:17
by Wolf-Obsessor
☪☪☪❀☪☪☪☪♐☪♐☪♐☯♐☯♐☯♐☪♐☪♐☪
I try to help everyone before I help myself.
I'll forever try to help others before myself.
That shall never change.
Especially for one person.
I love you. I'll do everything for you.
☪♐☪♐☪♐☯♐☯♐☯♐☪♐☪♐☪
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 27th, '13, 04:27
by Ziaheart
I'm so close I could kiss it. I hope I don't miss it. I will be rid of you soon.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 27th, '13, 18:29
by Altern
I slipped. Got abused for my kindness. Hasn't happened in a while. I thought that I had it down pat by now. On the bright side, I guess it shows I still have a heart. I guess I just have to work harder on knowing when to guard it.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 27th, '13, 23:22
by Ziaheart
Anyone with two brain cells to rub together would see that breaking more rules won't make us want to give you your mules back. 
That's how this whole mess started in the first place. Other users warned you that this is what will happen if you keep bugging us for it. You reap what you sow. "Being rude, calling mods and admins unfair, harassing people with a mass of PMs, refusing to accept that YOU did something wrong by breaking the rules and instead trying to blame it on everyone else, and breaking even more rules will not give you the desired result."
Re: Dirty Little Secrets...
Posted: Mar 28th, '13, 03:45
by Hikarisoul16
I don't know if this is love, but I think about you all the time. I love spending time with you and I hate having to leave you every time. I don't even know how this started because it feels like we just became good friends really fast.
When you tell me you'll come to "hang out" with me, I feel really happy. Thoughts of you distract me all the time. I feel like I should be more worried, but so far, my grades haven't suffered. Yet.
Yesterday, you said you wanted to leave because we didn't have the sofa. Even though I jokingly said it's because you couldn't stretch out in a chair, I think the real reason is that we can't sit right next to each other. That's how I feel, but I don't know if it's the same for you. I was really happy when I thought you returned my feelings. I just wish I could slow down time in those instances.
I don't know why you trusted me with such important feelings and thoughts. How are you able to trust someone you have just known for a few months? However, since you've entrusted those thoughts and feelings to me, I hope I'm a worthy person. I want to try harder to become someone who can encourage you to do better. I wish other people could see what I see in you. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I'm afraid that you'll leave if I say them.