Akili Li - That's nice then. There are basically no local owned places around here anymore. And the places that are locally owned are more likely to screw over their employees because they don't have big law firms and crap on their back keeping them legit.

She did. My dad died, and then 6 months later so did my sister. It was an awful time for us. I don't mean to be a bitch about it but everyone always worried about my mom and her reactions and not me at all. Even my niece, my sister's daughter, got kind of left out in the cold during it. Everyone was so worried about my mom my niece and I were basically chopped liver. I had to pick up all the slack and my niece's behavior got worse and worse. I tried to deal with it civilly, but I was still a kid myself, so the poor thing got sent to her room a lot. That was the only punishment I was allowed to give her so that's what I did. I regret the way things went a lot but I sincerely blame my mom and the rest of the family for not being more helpful. SOMEONE should have helped me with the child.

Honestly, I've lost so many people I barely cry at funerals anymore. I wouldn't feel guilty. You cared for them with the best of your abilities, I'm sure you loved them.


MissNikki - Having fun with the decorating and such still?
Bummer. But maybe you're looking forward to it a little?

.. that's not right at all. You lost a father, and if your mom was falling apart you functionally lost your mother as well....
I am so sorry that you didn't get the support you needed, and amazed that you seem so competent and centered after going through that!

Yeah. It really sucks. But what can you do?
I avoid my mom like the plague now. My niece lives a bajillion miles away with my brother. BECAUSE after I moved out my mom couldn't deal with her and niece hated her stupid boyfriend (literally everyone in the family does because he's mom's sister's ex husband who cheated on all 3 wives he's had) so mom shipped her to Alabama overnight without telling anyone. Also mom was horrible to niece. She wasn't allowed on the internet, couldn't go out with friends. Ugh. I hate my brother because he's an asshole. But my niece has really blossomed in his care. So I'm happy about that.

My mom wasn't a good mom. I did most of my own raising. She kept me super isolated. People think I'm a big ole freak and don't like to talk to me. Good times.

She stole over half of the money I got from the VA and then made me pay for all of my stuff. I had to pay for all my school stuff, my clothes, my lunch, and any fun stuff. Not to mention caring for a child. I didn't get any sort of childhood. It sucked ass.

Sorry for all the complaining. lol.

Aw, hun! *hugs* *hugs* You were really on your own, huh? At least your niece had you in her corner, but you were just stuck... I am more than ever impressed by how together you manage to be.

Thank you. Sometimes I tell people stuff and they just look at me all horrified. It's so awkward.

Yeah, I try to stay together. I never really had the luxury of falling apart for long.

My poor husband. He has some pretty bad depression and he just shuts down sometimes. But hes also always had someone there to pick up. The slack when he does so. Like his mom cleaned his room and cooked for him and bought him a car and stuff. It's a little crazy comparing childhoods. He was so coddled. I'm honestly a bit jealous but I'm also kind of happy I wasn't coddled? Like with all my issues I feel like if I hadn't grown up knowing I couldn't depend on anyone I would have just died by now. The world is so unkind.

So melancholy. Lol.

What are you up to today? Gonna harvest anything cool? Got work? Cooking?

-flops over-
I wanna sleep but I have work T_T

Sleeping in sounds like heaven.
Too bad it made you over-tired, though.

Did you at least get any fun dreams out of it?