I have such a huge soft spot for the elderly. All my grandparents are dead, so I really miss them and elderly people are precious to me.
And when I see them neglected or being abused, it's one of few things that will set me off like an untrained junkyard dog.
The elderly, babies/children, and animals.
I recently had an elderly neighbor die.
Before her, another elderly neighbor died.
Before them, a great aunt died.
Before that great aunt, another great aunt died.
This was just this year too.
The first great aunt that died, I really loved her.
She used to babysit me all the time and I remember going to her house and she made s'mores for me and the other kids she babysat on the stove and let me watch movies and read books and everything.
Before she died, she was so thin and looked so sick.
We went to see her before she died and she was kind of there, but kind of not at times.
She did grab my hair and said "I love your hair!" and she played with it a while.
When we were leaving, she said "I love your hair so much!" and like did a blowing kiss gesture.
She and my mom talked about how my grandma had thick hair too and my hair was so pretty.
It honestly made me not want to cut my hair.
I try to grow my hair out so I can get it cut off and donate it to make wigs.
The same grandma I was talking about had cancer and she was going through Chemo and lost her hair and she wore wigs.
I can't cure cancer or anything like that, but if I can donate my hair and help make someone happy, I want to do it.
I hate how people can live such a long life, see so much shit, and just slowly go out - sick and/or not being all there and not being able to remember.
It's not fair xD
And I know people say "Life's not fair \8u/" but that's just bullshit xD
My grandma on my dad's side grew up having her grandfather thrown in a concentration camp and almost getting herself shot for kicking a Nazi and all that shit and moving here and marrying my grandpa and then losing him and eventually ending up not knowing where she was and couldn't remember us.
She didn't deserve to go out like that. No one does.
I've lost several people to cancer:
My grandma
My grandpa
A family friend
A friend I met on here
My great grandma
And I think there's more, but my brain is so tired. I've been crying all day. My mom says if she gets cancer, she doesn't want treatments - she just wants to be given pain pills and say "So long fuckers \8u/" when it's her time.
My dad has said similar. When it's his time, he's ready to just go.
I'm scared of dying. I believe in God and Jesus and ghosts and all that optimistic shit, but I don't know 100% what's going to happen to me when I do die. It's arrogant as fuck, I guess, but I've told God that I don't intend to go without a fight.
As long as I know people need me, I can't go yet.
There's so many good people in America, but the country is founded on selfishness and greed.
It's "Me me me me me!"
And it's "not their problem" until it becomes their problem.
I have seen people say the most hateful shit about AIDS patients - they just need to die. They ain't worth treatment. Fuck them.
I never got to meet her, or if I did I was too young to remember - but one of my aunts died from AIDS. Eventhough I didn't meet her or don't remember meeting her - I will punch you in the nose if you talk about her like that in my presence >__>
I always felt so weak because I'm an emotional person. I get angry, I get happy, I get sad - way more than everyone around me did.
But I know now that it's called "empathy" and it's not weak.
I mean, I was browsing mods for my Sims 2 game the other day and I found this thread saying "RIP" to one of the creators or owners of the site.
I just skimmed over the thread, but it talked about how she was sick and struggling and did die.
I teared up just skimming that. I don't know that lady. I'd never heard of her until I read that thread - but her death made me cry.
She was a living person and she got sick and suffered then died - I didn't have to know her to feel pain and sadness.
Sorry for the longass post. I'm so tired but so energized from being tired.
8D
She can do things herself, although she can't speak properly anymore (walking is also very hard for her). Often it's just a blubber and we have no idea what she's saying, especially when she gets excited and talks faster. But she's also struggling with other stuff and has had a heart attack a few months ago.
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