Kingdom of Knuffel

I didn't see this topic, so I hope I'm not creating a second one. At least not a second new one.

Anyways here's a few funny convos I've had or heard.

Me: You can eat a cow, you can eat a goat, and you can eat a dragon. You can milk a cow, you can milk a goat, but by no means necessary can you milk a dragon.
My Mom: Who'd want to milk a dragon?
Me: You'd be surprised.

Okay in my defense when I had this next conversation, I was pregnant. This had happened before my mom's back got so bad that she ended up disabled. So at the time my mom could drive. I forget where we were going though.

Me: *sees a kid about to run out into the street* MOM!
Mom: *stops*
Me: *to my mom, I'm mad as heck* Sheesh! This isn't some country where there is little to no vehicle traffic and you can run around the streets all willy-nilly! This is America! We run over little kids!
Mom: We do?
Me: I'm pregnant. Humor me. *laughs*

My daughter was sharing marshmallows with me.

Joslyn: One for you...two for me...one for you...two for me...
Me: XD

Joslyn: *talking about a semi-truck* Mom! That truck doesn't have a butt!
Me: What?
Joslyn: Look! See that truck?
Me: Yes?
Joslyn: It has no butt!
Me: Okay... XD
Us: *Go past a business that has semi-trucks and their trailers.*
Joslyn: Mom! Look! There's the butts! Why did he leave his butt?
Me: I don't know Honey.

A few days ago my dad took my daughter outside for me while I finished something up. A few minutes later I come out.

Joslyn: Okay Grandpa you can go inside now.
Me: Show your love for your Grandpa.
Joslyn: *very serious* I love you Grandpa. *walks away after Grandpa says I love you too*
Me and my dad: *trying not to laugh loud*

My dad talking to my (at the time) two year old niece on his cell phone. He told us what was said by Alice. Oh so you know she has a baby sister.

Dad: Hi Alice!
Alice: Hi Grandpa! Look at the baby Grandpa! Look at the baby!
Dad: Uhhh...Alice I can't-
Alice: Look at the baby Grandpa! Look at the baby!


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The ones from my daughter kill me the most.

So do you have any funny conversations?

None that are that intentionally funny, I don't think? (The truck butts made me chuckle, btw.)

One I can recall...I was traveling with my friend's family, and we were on a busy street. So miscommunication was inevitable. It went like this:

My friend: What time is it?
My friend's father: A quarter to five.
My friend's mother: Somebody died?
Me: There's cherry pie?
My friend's father: *sighs, walks away*

Not even the first time my friend's mother and I have had a string of misheard stuff because neither of us pay attention well.

Getting ready for work one morning with my roommate getting ready for church.

Me: Why do I have to go to work? I want to sleep.
Roommate: Because you have to make the money, child.
Me: I don't want to make money. Can't we all just have everything we need?...I turn into a communist in the morning.

Talking to my younger sister about my role play partner on here

Me: She lives in Sri Lanka.
Her: Where's that? (understandable)
Me: By India.
Her: Where's that? (She misheard me, but it's still pretty funny.

My dad talking to my older sister a few years ago. He has hearing problems (totally deaf on the left side and probably going deaf on the other XD) so he always mishears people.

Her: I got to pick my spot first.
Dad: You got to pick your thong first?!
--Another conversation that same day--
Her: Can I borrow a rubber band (Our word for 'hair ties')
Me: Yeah, I have some in our room.
Dad: You have mermen in your room?!
Me: *Voice dripping with sarcasm* Yes, dad, I keep mermen on my shelf.

overheard: "Which stop do you want again?"
"What?"
"Which stop do you want, again?"
"What?"
"I asked you which stop you wanted."
"I can't hear you, stop mumbling!"
"Which stop do you want?!"
"no, really, I can't understand you at all."
[best enunciation yet]: "Are you deaf?"
"Apparently!"
"..."

(Made me laugh, because of COURSE that was the one thing they'd heard... but really, the first speaker had a very bad habit of mumbling)