I'm just tired of being treated like an idiot and told I'm not treated as such because my supervisor is a pussy. And when my team is having a confrontation with Spain, then he's looking for solutions that make our lives even more difficult instead of just confronting the Spanish about the issue. I've reached my limit. Nothing's going to change and I can't stand this job anyways so why stay there? Sure, I get paid but if I don't then I'm counting on my survival instinct to just kick in and then hopefully I'll rush with my business plan thingy. Maybe that's exactly what I need. Everyone is telling me it's not smart and I know it's not. Logically I should stay there until I can just go off with my business, but when will that be, really? Once I register my business? Once I get my first client? Once I get my first stable client? What if that takes a year and a half? And will I really be able to perform my services after hours? I'm already too tired to do anything after work, I can barely get myself to listen to a webinar from my course. I truly can't imagine myself working 8 hours and then working 4 more. Maybe some people can pull it off, but I'm going to burn out really soon that way. So I need to let something go. And if I'm trying to be happy in life and not just try to live through it somehow, then I'm going to let go of that job that sucks the life out of me.
People keep telling me stuff like "don't take it so personally" or "turn your emotions off". I'm actually not taking it personally (okay, maybe I am a little, but not as much as I used to and only some days 8D) and I'm not a robot and I don't have a switch to turn my emotions off. But I know the power of subconscious mind. If I constantly get the feedback that something's wrong with my work, then I'm gonna think I suck at it. And it's a reeeeally easy job. Honestly, a monkey could do it. Hell, a monkey would probably do it better.
Yeah, I just talked to my mom, 'cause she called, and she said she's worried I won't get paid and that maybe I should wait... I get it, it's crazy to leave a job like that. But I really need to do it...