I'm happy and/or relieved. I'm not really sure. Apparently I'm depressed Anhedonia is strong these days.

I will never understand cheese pizza We didn't even finish it...

I think I'll go lie down.

Oh man, you are making me hungry guys...
I usually prefer more than just cheese on my pizza, but I am a big old cheese lover and would have no problem eating the four cheeses ones or something like that either.

Hm, then I guess Ash and I aren't big on cheese. I mean, he likes his cheese on a sandwich but apparently pizza has to have something extra. I'm slightly lactose intolerant and cheese is too heavy for me, plus I'm not the fan of the smell. Which is strange, when I was a kid I was only eating cheese sandwiches for years because I couldn't find a ham that would fit my standards.
I feel I'm rambling, so I'll stop.

Moi wrote:How are you feeling today 8u

Hello everyone it seems like I came back just in time for the existential dread.

To which I say, same. Some days it takes all of my effort to leave my bed, and then I reward myself for that with good words. Always reward yourself for the amount of effort you put into something, not for the result.

Also I don't like cheese a lot. I also don't think pizza is a good food item. It's just bread with sauce and... cheese.

My job is on pause for the next month because of a new partial lockdown in Germany.

We've planned Christmas with my dad. He usually goes to his mum in England for Christmas, but that's not happening this year, so we decided to invite him over. My mum is fine with not seeing me this one year. My bf took the opportunity to cancel Christmas at his parents' house as well - his dad doesn't want to tell his mum yet tho. Said she's gonna freak out.

@Moi: I think we'll order pizza today because Ash ha a lot of work to do and he'll have no time to cook something and I'm no use in the kitchen, especially now. I cross my fingers they bring the right pizza this time...

Yeah, I'm taking some medication but it won't work for the first 2 weeks or so. Then I should contact my doctor and we'll see if the dosage should stay the same etc. I'm only been taking it for 4 days so it won't be doing much.

I think what you're describing is depersonalization, but I might be wrong and I'm too lazy to look it up

@Lulu: I asked Ash to buy me aloe vera juice when we went out for some bread and stuff. I think that counts as a reward for getting up, getting dressed, making breakfast and going out even though I don't feel like doing anything. There's not much effort I can give lately...

Sorry about the job. Will you be getting some compensation for that time?

Oh no, don't even mention Christmas, my grandma's going to be miserable when she hears Ash and I won't be coming. Because we plan on staying home. We haven't told her or my mom yet, idk. Christmas gives me anxiety.


Also, there's this political situation in Poland and it makes things even worse to handle for me.

Absolutely. If it takes all your effort, you definitely deserve a reward.

Nope! No compensation for me! Just... sitting at home. My class wasn't deemed necessary in a lockdown situation, so it's just cancelled until school starts again.

Ha, well, same for my bf. Which is why his mum doesn't know. Looked like a boulder lifted off of his shoulder when he told his dad though.

yeah, absolutely wouldn't want to be there right now. Seems really bad from here.

It really does require a lot and I'm kind of ashamed that such simple tasks are so hard.

How wonderful... Will you be okay financially? Don't you have some remote education going on during the lockdown? Or is it just for the most important subjects?
I'm completely out of the loop with school things, even here in Poland.

eh, I should probably call my grandma and tell her, since she usually starts buying presents around November. And knowing her, pandemic won't really stop her. Although I hope it will, wouldn't want her to get sick. I'm glad she managed to get a flu shot, that's something.

Yup, our government is either sneaky or stupid. Most probably both. Makes me want to emigrate somewhere.

You shouldn't be! That's just how it is sometimes, and that's ok.

Yeah, I'm fine financially, it just bums me out a little. Most schools don't have remote education... Internet isn't good enough for that lol

I hope she doesn't get it.

I feel like your government is neither sneaky nor stupid. I think they are very obvious a-holes.