I came back to Kingdom of Knuffel partly because I'm scrambling for distractions from the recent loss of my baby...

I saw three vets over the course of her last week, and no one was COMPLETELY sure, but we highly suspect that she had insulanomas. In the end, my only options were an MRI to confirm or deny a possible brain tumour for the constant seizures she was having (and what would I do after that..?), or exploratory surgery to see if there were, in fact, visible tumours on her pancreas. Emphasis on *visible*, because insulanomas can be microscopic. The idea of performing such an invasive operation on her, only for there to be nothing we could do, was just too much.

We said goodbye to her...wow, more than 24 hours ago, now...that's..intense. She passed away at 12:58pm on Friday, February 8, 2019.

Her new (well our new, her last...) vet is the most amazing woman I've met in her field. It astonished me just how much she cares about her patients, even going so far as to call me back after they closed to talk me through things so I could make my baby as comfortable and healthy as possible.

After we put her to sleep, the doctor came out and gave me a tight hug. She told me that I was a wonderful pet parent, and I did everything I could, and that I was so brave to let her go...I just..

That is so hard to do, what a terrible sort of blessing to find a great vet just at the end of your girl's life.
Distractions are handy, yeah...
Would you want this thread to be a place to share stories of your baby and vent about your loss, or had you liefer we try and distract you here by turning the conversation?

I'll do my best, it's just hard sometimes because of course everyone reacts to grief in an individual way.
Like I don't think it's a good idea for me to share stories personally because I'll end up crying if I try to do that.
But I can listen...
and I can talk about other things if you need a distraction
(for instance, if you've been gone for a while, are you familiar at all with the Candy Caravan? And how that works? Because Grog there to the right under your avatar picture, the event shop link, well he only shows up for a few days each month. So if you'd like to get those items posting a lot in the forums so you can get donuts to spend there is a good idea. When he's not here, you can sometimes randomly get between 1 and 3 donuts per post, just like you can randomly get daycare coupons sometimes when you post. When he IS here, every post gives 1 donut. Exception for both is the spam and word games forums; those don't give any. Or, they're not supposed to. Report it if they do.)

I am so sorry to hear this, it's not an easy decision. I remember having to make the choice concerning my kitten a few years back but due to her being young and fit, having the surgery to fix her legs was the right decision.

I also know you will be emotional.. I have seen people who don't cry easily, break down when that decision has to be made.. our pets are our babies and you made the right choice, there was no guarantee the surgery would of done any good. Sorry to sound blunt but have been in a similar situation and we were told the surgery would prolong life for a few more weeks at most, if lucky. Would it of been fair to put the pet through all that? In the end, you did a beautiful thing for her - you made sure she is no longer suffering, she is free and gained her wings.

Remember and cherish the times you spent together - and don't hesitate to cry if needed. She left you knowing she was loved and that you have another angel watching and waiting for you in Heaven.