well, I dunno if this still counts as helping...

I had this officemate whom I occasionally talk to whenever I see her around the faculty office. She got bullied by our other officemate who coincidentally also happens to be my former college professor back in the day. This FP (former professor) of mine had started spewing nasty rumors/things about her, and it doesn't end there just with that. cause FP turns out to be very effective at persuading others and had most of the other faculties hatin' on her. She had no one to talk to about her situation until one time, after work she asked me to join her buy some snacks in the cafeteria, then the rest is history. she started telling me personal things about her, and gradually I have concluded that she seems genuinely nice and that FP's the one who's really making up stories.

She cleared up her name eventually with other people. she became confident again and cheerful at work and we became friends. Then FP started being lowkey mean on me, so my initial reaction was to be mum about it and not talk to her same as what she was doing to me. I thought it will cool off eventually, the tension between me and FP but things got worse and I found myself in the same situation as my officemate before.

Officemate and I are still friends but she and FP are now on speaking terms. occasionally having a small casual talk with each other about work. which I don't mind.

and now, every day at the office is super awkward. other co-officemates started being mean with me. and officemate 1 (the one being bullied before) though we are still acquaintances, acts like I got some unlucky card or somethin' thats why it backfired on me. Saying things like she slayed all those bad rumors away by remaining her composure and showing them who's the real b+++ in charge. which I find to be not true at all. she cried during those nasty episodes at work and I never comment to her like that.

I know she's just tryin' to give me advice and all, so were good. anyway, this situation at work kinda fits the "Thank You But Don't" for me.

and I apologize for my inept english grammar and communication skill.

I've had some kind of trend of trying to help but it backfired and the other didn't appreciate it or I accidentally made things worse or more awkward for them. So I get hesitant to do anything for my friends and loved ones unless they specifically have an idea what they'd like me to help with, since a lack of direction in the often very confusing situations I get exposed to, is anxiety inducing and I'm more likely to experience how incompetent I feel... At least i don't have especially prideful friends currently, so sometimes I just have to try to be more tactful if they want advice or validation while they deal with the situation themselves.