So, my bf and I were in a car accident without insurance, we were broadsided, and I was driving. The accident was 50/50 fault on both me and the other driver. But because it was a car accident and my bf doesn’t have car insurance (he doesn’t even have a drivers license) his medical insurance may not pay for his injuries. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks and had 12 broken ribs, a broken pelvis which he received surgery for and had a screw out in, he had lacerations to his liver, spleen, and bladder, and his aorta partially separated from his heart and his spleen ruptured while in the hospital. He had surgeries to check out his heart, cauterize and then eventually remove his spleen, and to check out the rest of his organs and they also had to cauterize a portion of his liver where it was leaking bile into his abdominal cavity. So let’s just sum that up by saying his medical bills are reaching nearly 500k. His mother his making him sue me and the other driver for his medical expenses if his insurance doesn’t pay and I’m gonna be in a spot where I will never be able to own property or anything now, we won’t be able to get married, and I won’t be able to ever get a car. I’ll have to declare bankruptcy to be even able to have to a life. I’m just devastated and his family is telling me not to take it personal and he’s saying he loves me still and wants to be with me but this is just hard and I’m taking it personally anyway.

Oh wow that is devastating! I hope you're alright ypurself, that must have been a terrifying experience.
Idk where you live and how insurances work, but could your and the other driver's insurance pay for it?

I really understand you taking it personally, it's such a devastating situation. His family must be very anxious about the enormous amount to pay, just like you are.

Do you have people around you that can give you legal council? Or find a lawyer or someone to clarify the possibilities for you?

Zupprika wrote:
Do you have people around you that can give you legal council? Or find a lawyer or someone to clarify the possibilities for you?

Yeah I just had a broken rib as well, some whiplash and bruising and pulled muscles. I have to wait to contact any legal help until his insurance receives all information and reports from the accident and makes a decision based on that. From what I understand bankruptcy will be my best option it’s just that I feel like his mom is pushing the whole “sue me” option before even checking out financial aid/charity care for his bills. She’s the only one in his family that is acting very cold and distant towards me and I understand he almost died, and I thought he did honestly when I first opened my eyes after the accident because he wasn’t moving or awake and I’m dealing with my own stuff from that.

Yeah I can imagine. I hope you're getting the help you need to process what happened.
Can you talk to him about the issue at all? or does he just repeat what his mother told him?

He just repeats what his mom told him, that he has no money to pay for it and I’m like, we literally live together and you have all of my money in your savings account already how do you think I’ll be able to pay for it? And it’s like I’ll be paying for it for the rest of my life and probably until the day I die, which then the debt will just transfer to any kids we have.

He doesn't seem like he's got your back ;/ Are you sure he's someone for you if he blindly choses his mom over supporting you?

Damn,that's a shitty situation. I'm sorry for you.
Isn't car insurance mandatory for driving in America? Because in Eu,you're not allowed to drive in public space without it.(Hospital bill would also have been of 5k and not 500k in here,but that's another mater...)

Anyways,i would advise you not to get mad at your boyfriend or his mom for not being supportive or acting cold, because chances are that he's just as scared and lost as you ,... and that his mom is blaming you for not being a careful driver,almost killing her kid and being the reason he has a huge bill to pay,while not being sure that you 2 will stay together and that you'll help pay the debt if insurance doesn't pay. She'll get over it,eventually,since no one died.
But until you get the insurance results,try relaxing and not ruining yourself or your relationship with stress and overthinking.
If you need to you'll go bankrupt,but your life has not endend,and one mistake won't stop you from archieving your goals (it might slow you,but that's it)

Yeah I mean I think everything she is feeling is completely valid, we’re just super close before all of this as a family even though we’re not married. It’s just been devastating in general. And yeah it is required in the US but insurance companies here are expensive and it was just something we kept putting off. Idk it’s just like if the situation was revered my family would be handling it very different

Not everyone can deal with great stress,....and sometimes when people feel trapped ....like in a situation where there's a big debt to pay and no money, they tend to put the blame wherever they can (you,at this moment ) to lift some weight from their own shoulders.

It's clearly unfair,and a little selfish to act that way,when it would be better to support each other...but as i said,no one died,so you'll all get over this.
Just try relaxing and maybe have a talk about your feelings and fears with your boyfriend and his mom,see how they feel and maybe try to have some activities together to take your mind away from the car accident

Umm I just need to say "i still love you and want to be will you"
REALLY?
No, dump this asshole!
Seriously

He should not be listening to his mom either, she sounds like an asshole too