An ASD diagnosis is not a free pass to be an asshole.

Well that's all very nice except that, ironically, most people's ideas of someone being a "dick" or "asshole" come from very over-socialized (or I guess what you would call "neurotypical") and anti-anything-abnormal viewpoints.

I get called a troll and banned from things absolutely all the time. Everyone agrees I had it coming, everyone hates me, and yet I can't tell you the countless hours I've spent policing what I say, rereading it, and making sure it's absolutely not offensive at all. Countless times I've gone over something, absolutely sure that this time it's impossible a single person can take offense! This time I look human, I think. This time they won't be able to pick me out from the others.

I'm always wrong, and they can always smell I'm not one of them and turn on me.

I've spent decades trying to analyze it, and from what I can tell of normals is that the words themselves are more important than the intent. To me, intent is what matters, no matter what words you say, but this argument from logic rarely makes a difference. The kindly stranger trying to explain what I did wrong seems, to me, to have an evil intent. Their intent is to dictate to a stranger how to speak, think and behave. As they profess understanding and championing those with different brains, they refuse to see the actual effort I'm making, and my actual inability to conform to what's okay is seen as me being a dick on purpose to piss people off. (Only maybe one percent of the time am I actually TRYING to offend and anger someone, and that's usually after a long time of having the shit kicked out of me.)

Meanwhile I may say something that offends someone's sense of what they consider right or wrong, but I'm not asking them to censor their own speech lest I get offended, I'm asking for a discussion. So my intent, from my viewpoint, is good.

I have never once asked someone to change the way they speak to me, which I find highly hurtful and infuriating, yet I've had a lifetime of people demanding I change my arrangement of words so that I don't maybe accidentally hurt a bystander.

And yet, these people are seen as noble champions of virtue and social justice, while I'm seen as a trolling scumbag.

There's a difference between being intentionally a dick, and having your words misconstrued. The first is a choice, the second is a choice other people made, and thus not your fault.

Neurotypical people have this whole mess of social rules and such and it's all contradictory and exhausting to try to navigate. which is probably why I tend to socialize mostly with fellow neurodivergent/autistic people.

I socialize with a bunch of cats.

95% of my socialization is done via the internet, because I live in the middle of nowhere.